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01
Time is more important than money, attention is more important than time.
I see most people, the eyes are staring Money, money.
A vision of high-level people will know, in fact, more important than money. Human life, in fact, is composed by the time you sit here and enjoy a cup of coffee, because, before you took the time to make money. Well, now you sit here drinking coffee, In essence, the two spend the time and money in this one, only played a role in a medium.
But I found that very few people pay attention to the importance of attention.
Many of us, many times, in fact, attention is lax, and if so, we may even be seen as he fell into a black hole of time, as if this period never appeared.
They eat when they are in the desert, when they play with the mobile phone by pressing at the time, everywhere people talk, repeatedly press a APP icon, go quit, quit to go, and finally himself does not know what he was doing.
Now suppose that our two time are in place, however, we are unable to focus, then drink a cup of coffee and did not drink much difference.
There are others in the same situation when talking to you, you did not listen. Sitting in the cinema, you daze, holding a book to read, you almost fell asleep.
This situation is very terrible, in our lives is also more common.
Because of the intense attention or not, it is directly related to our experience of the world, is also closely linked to our happiness - the attention of the most concentrated, it is often the most intense happiness.
02
Vulnerable and not absolute advantage, we believe that many of the advantages of others, in fact, is a disadvantage. I think their weaknesses, in fact, an advantage. A lot of things, trying to do on the line, do not let the low self-esteem wrapped around himself.
In many cases, your benefits will be converted to the weak, and the weak will be converted into advantages. In this process, do not arbitrarily low self-esteem, this sentiment is not necessary. (I've seen too many people of low self-esteem, most of the girls I've seen, told me very low self-esteem, it will consume excessive energy on unnecessary worry.)
This phenomenon Gladwell wrote the "Ace" This book tells very clearly.
For example: Most of us think of rich families, their family education should be like this:
That is, the more money people, the more rich educational resources, education, the easier it up.
Because of poor people hard to give their children the necessary love, care and discipline.
Slightly better person, would think so:
That is, the more rich people, the greater the improvement in family education. However, to a critical point, the advantage of this wealth of education is no longer produced highlights.
The fact is this:
Money for a normal training to adapt to the child's environment it becomes more difficult. Because these children only care about the world around them, they do not need to work hard, independent, understanding the meaning of money.
Same thing, we believe that a smaller class, the teacher put a student body of each energy is more, the better to be educated, should be like this:
But in fact, after an investigation found that the data Gladwell, should be this:
In other words, if the class is too small, but becomes poor student achievement.
Similarly, we believe that the absolute disadvantage, may in some places, become dominant.
For example, we do not think anyone, suffering from "Dyslexia" is a good thing, right?
Which cited an example, a man named Boyce's attorney until the third grade to read, according to our secular vision seems, and almost retarded.
But after he graduated from Yale University, in terms of lawyers, very successful.
"If I could read faster, a lot of things done that it is easy." Boyce said, "This is no doubt, but from another point of view, because I was not reading, so I can only concentrate listen and ask questions to learn. That means I have to simplify the problem, directly extract the essence of the problem. "
Similar examples in the book there are many, really inspired me a lot. In many cases, we do not have their own shortcomings, weaknesses and self-pity, picked up the pace, on the contrary, boldly do, the first step is more important.
03
Many times we are wrong will "satisfy the desire of" mistaken for happiness.
Many years ago I discovered this one.
Many years ago, I remember once watching TV, I saw a slogan - "the dream of access to reality, Monternet", he shows mean, should "anytime, anywhere access" to become a reality.
I saw this slogan when broadband is not yet universal, my family still online with the phone line. The Nokia 3100 mobile phone, with GPRS network can see text news again two blurry images, it is already very good.
At that time I was in fantasy: "If one day, you can always use the mobile Internet really that nice ah." (Same thing:! If a computer can be done palm-sized nice)
现在，这些梦想都通过4G时代的到来，已然实现，但我觉得，现实并没有想象中的那么美好。相反，我很怀念以前没有网络的日子，安安静静地看书，安安静静地做事，也没有人在你说话的时候玩手机。现在这个时代，虽然能随时随地联系到人，交到所谓的朋友，但人的孤独的本质并没有改变。
很多时候，QQ上面亮着头像，微信里上千人，却不知道找谁说话。
同样的还有，我们误以为把书买回来了就是幸福，其实买回来只是放在一旁吃灰。
我们误以为买买买才是快乐，很多时候买回来，就丢到了一边，快乐越来越短，随着越来越频繁，快乐的感受也越来越弱。
04
人生大部分的时间其实都是在等待，不要把“赢”和“出人头地”看作是终极目标。大部分人的一生，都是平庸的一生。
然而我们，很多中国人家庭里，终以”出人头地“、”光宗耀祖“为目标。
就算那些大有所成的人，也并不是每个人能年少得意、幸福到终。
比如唐伯虎，年少得志，晚年凄凉。
昭烈帝刘备，50岁还跑到刘表那里哭哭滴滴的，60岁称帝。
刘邦，将近50岁才开始打江山，打了7年当上汉王，62岁就死掉了。
纵观他们的人生，他们大部分时间，都是在等待成功的到来。即使到后来出人头地，也未必有我们这些常人所想象的那样的幸福——至少以我读史书时的感觉就这样。其中，刘备的结局还挺惨的，哥三个摸爬滚打好不容易当了皇帝，没享受几年，跑去打了个败仗。大仇未报，惜死于白帝城。
像卡夫卡、梵高这种就更不必说了，按照我们世俗的理解，至少他们生前都是LOSER。
人，最好能做自己认为最有意义的事，赚钱也好、创新也罢。这样，你就无所谓”出人头地“，对于你来说，你的每一天做的每一件事，都是有意义的。
就像梵高一样，他认为自己画画是最有意义的事情，这就够了。
05
不要把别人的评价看得过重，尤其在中国。
富兰克林曾说过这么一个故事：
有一对父子牵着一头驴从外地归来，父亲心疼儿子，让儿子坐在驴背上，自己牵驴，路人见之，纷纷指责儿子不孝，说：这孩子真不孝顺，自己骑驴，却让年老的父亲牵驴跑路。
儿子听到后，赶紧下来，让父亲坐上，自己牵驴。路人见到后，又纷纷指责父亲，说：看，那老头真不是东西，孩子那么小竟一点不心疼，自己骑驴，却让孩子跑路。
父亲听到后，急忙把儿子拉上驴背，一起骑驴。路人见到后，又有人议论说：看，这两个人真歹毒，驴这么瘦小，竟然两个人都骑在驴背。
父子俩一听，急忙下来，一前一后抬着驴走，路人一见，纷纷指着这对父子说;看，这两个傻子，有驴不骑，在抬驴呢！
在中国，你会经常遇到这种情况，无论你做什么，总有人骂你是王八蛋。
别人对你的评价，就好像你在哈哈镜里再看到自己的模样，并不是你真实的写照。而是真实的你，在他们脑海里理解过一遍后的形象。
并且，他人对你的评价，对于你自己本身的幸福与否，关系并不大。
在这种泥沙俱下的环境下，做好你自己认为最重要的事，是最为重要的。
这点我在柴静演讲《穹顶之下》后，很多人对她的恶毒评价，感触特别大——在中国，无论你做什么事，总有人喷你。
06
我们眼睛看到的，很多时候都只是表象，不要轻易用我们眼睛见到的表面现象当作是事物的本质，从而下结论。
我父母常对我说，你看你哥，当个公务员多舒服，为什么你就不想要？
公务员，周六日有休息，工作稳定、社会福利好，有保障，为什么你偏偏就不考？
他给我的理由是：我看他过得很舒服。
我哥亲自跟我说的，又是另一个事实：要是给我一次重来的机会，我不会选择公务员，我是老了，上有老下有小，辞职风险太大，没办法。
我其实最想做的是有激情的事，如果我当初跟着史玉柱去打天下，现在早就不是这样了。
我现在的生活，其实就是在等死，我就等着哪天我老了，拿着退休工资退休，安享退休后的生活，你说悲哀不悲哀？我希望你趁着年轻好好去闯一闯。
同样的还有我的某个朋友，娶到个白富美，老婆长得漂亮极了，大家看到了都说羡慕：男才女貌，神仙眷侣。
实际上就我所知，美女比起一般的人，会有天生的优势。因此，她们经常会反复利用自己的优势，来跟人相处。这也意味着，跟美女打交道，成本通常比一般人要高得多（从总体意义上而言，而不是个体而言），我们看到的是“娶到这么美的老婆，真是福气”。而事实上，做她们的老公，也因此将付出比常人多得多的成本。
比如：我那朋友经常出门，化个妆都要等2个小时，有时候妆还没化完，一个下午就过完了。
