15 funny programmer jokes
- Q&A
Q: How do you distinguish between an introverted programmer and an extroverted programmer?
A: Extroverted programmers will look at your shoes when talking to you.
Q: Why can't programmers distinguish between Halloween and Christmas?
A: This is because Oct 31 == Dec 25! (31 in octal==25 in decimal)
2. Code
Literary and art programmers pursue the code to be understood by others, ordinary programmers seek to make it understandable by themselves, and 2B programmers seek to make it understandable by the compiler; after half a year, the literary and art programmers don’t know that they wrote the code by themselves. But it's easy to understand. Ordinary programmers know that they wrote it by themselves, but it is not easy to understand. 2B programmers buried their heads and watched for a long time and then patted the table and shouted, "Which SB program is this!"
3.PHP
Goddess: You can make everyone on this forum quarrel, I will go with you tonight.
Programmer: PHP language is the best language!
The forum is frying, and all kinds of quarrels.
Goddess: I have served you, let's go, you can do whatever you want.
Programmer Ape: Not today. I must convince them that PHP is the best language.
4. Sleep
I’m a hard-working programmer. I’m working overtime tonight and I’m so sleepy that I can’t open my eyes anymore. The female boss is very concerned and asks me if I want to eat midnight snack.
I said angrily, "Supper is enough, just let me sleep."
The female boss blushed and said something disgusting, and then sat beside me, as if she was very close to me, which made me nervous. Did she find a bug in my program?
5. Buns
My wife called her husband who was a programmer: "Buy a pound of buns on the way after get off work and bring them back. If you see a watermelon seller, buy one."
That night, the programmer's husband entered the house with a bun in his hand...
The wife said angrily: "Why did you buy a bun?!"
Husband replied: "Because I saw a watermelon seller."
6. Off work
Someone posted: "Dear JR, I want to be a programmer, what should I pay attention to..."
A certain ape: "When I get off work, I will tell you more..."
Then... there is no more
7. Order food
Programmer A: "I have fish-flavored shredded pork with rice, what do you eat?"
Programmer B: "Kung Pao Chicken Rice Bowl."
Programmer A writes on the menu:
Fish-flavored pork rice bowl 1
Kung Pao Chicken Rice Bowl 1
Programmer B: "I still want beef noodles!"
Programmer A corrects the menu:
Fish-flavored pork rice bowl 1
// Kung Pao Chicken Rice Bowl 1
Beef Noodle 1
8. Calligraphy
After a programmer retired, he decided to practice calligraphy, so he invested heavily in the four treasures of the study. One day, after a meal, Yaxing suddenly came into being, I studied ink and simulated paper, and lighted it with sandalwood. Concentrating for a moment, splashing ink and waving a few words, solemnly write a line of words: hello world!
9. Talk
When a female classmate was eating in the cafeteria, a programmer leaned aside, "Classmate, can I talk to you? I haven't talked to a girl for a month.
10, number
The baby is very good at math, and can count from 1 to 10 at the age of 2. Later, I told him that 0 is smaller than 1.
To eat dumplings today, I said: "Baby, how many dumplings do you want to eat?"
"0, 1, 2, 3." picking up a dumpling while talking, "this is the 0th one."
Wife roared: "The next generation is still the life of programmers!"
11. Borrow money
Programmer A: Hey, lend me some money?
Programmer B: How much to borrow?
Programmer A: 1,000.
Programmer B: OK. Hey, do you want to lend you 24 more, so that you can make up the whole thing?
Programmer A: That's fine.
12. Still borrow money
Programmer A: Do you have money, buddy?
Programmer B: Yes
Programmer A: Lend me something?
Programmer B: Huh? what did you say?
Programmer A: Lend me something?
Programmer B: No, the last sentence?
Programmer A: Is there any money?
Programmer B: No.
Programmer A: Halo, the program asks again, the result is different!
13. Night road
Going home from get off work last night, a policeman came on patrol. Suddenly yelled to me: Stop!
Police: How many bytes does the int type occupy?
Me: Four.
Police: You can go now.
I was surprised.
Me: Why do you ask such a question?
Policeman: I was still walking on the street late at night, looking bitter, either a thief or a programmer.
14. Trouble
There are two things that annoying programmers most. The first thing is that others ask him to write documentation for his own code. What about the second thing? It is someone else's program that did not leave a document.
15.Harmony
Random functions can help you achieve family harmony: Talk(){:top word(1)="En!"; word(2)="OK!";word(3)="What about then?";word(4 )="makes sense";i=random(4); say word(i) goto top;}