Funny sayings on programming programmer, do you know a few?

I collected a lot of programming quotations, basically related to the programmer's life related. These quotations involving software development, code maintenance, debugging error correction, software bug, system design, documentation, code quality, testing and software development team management. The following 59 quotations although this is very funny, but very real. Only programmers can understand these programming statements in the real meaning. Without further ado, Syria, started ...

Programmer programming Quotations

1. A good programmer is the kind of road have been one-way street to look both people. (Doug Linder)

2. Do not worry about when the program in question. If everything no problem, you're out of a job. (Mosher's Law of Software Engineering)

3. Programmers trouble is that you can not figure out what he was Daoteng, when you finally figure it out, maybe it was too late. (Father of the supercomputer Seymour Cray)

4. I think most people know that normally would have the virtue of a programmer. Of course, there are three: lazy, violent, arrogant. (Perl language inventor Larry Wall)

5. To keep the programming this attitude: if you people in the future to maintain this code is a brutal psychopath, and he knows where you live. (Martin Golding)

6. Written by a bad software will bring a full-time job to another person. (Jessica Gaston)

7. If construction workers like programmers to write software that build a house, that's first flying woodpeckers can destroy human civilization. (Gerald Weinberg)

8. This is likely the world's most destructive way - most experts agree - is the second accident. That is why we have, we are computer experts, we create an accident. (Nathaniel Borenstein)

9. Our industry has a particularly strange phenomenon: Not only do we not learn from your mistakes, the same time do not learn from success. (Keith Braithwaite)

10. Once a new technology became popular, you either get on the roller, or become a paving stone. (Stewart Brand)

11. If one did not succeed, call it version 1.0 of it. (Unknown)

12. All programmers are writers, all computers are lousy actors. (Anonymous Hack Actor)

13. On the progress of work behind the sooner, the more you'll have plenty of time to catch up. (Anonymous Scheduler)

14. When there is such a programming language appears: It allows programmers to program in plain English, you will find that programmers are beginning to not speak English. (Anonymous Linguist)

15. Why we do not have time to do it right, but always have time to get things done first? (Anonymous)

16. Fool can write a computer program can understand. Good programmers write code that humans can understand.

17. Any code you write, more than six months looking at it, when you look at, are written by someone else. (Eagleson's law)

Programming / Software Development Quotes

1. Progress was assessed by the number of lines of code in software development, just as the aircraft by weight to assess the progress of the construction. (Bill - Gates)

2. Software is like sex. A mistake, you need to use the remaining lifetime maintenance support. (Michael Sinz)

3. Walking on water and developing software on demand documents are easy - as long as they are frozen. (Edward V Berard)

4. The first 90% of the code spent 90% of the initial development time code ... remaining 10% to 90% spent additional development time. (Tom Cargill)

5. Commented code like cleaning your toilet - you do not want to do, but if you do, this is definitely give you and your guests to bring a more pleasant experience. (Ryan Campbell)

6. Today's program is a contest between God and programmers, programmers to create bigger and better fool the software will be used. And God in efforts to create a larger and more stupid fool. So far, God is winning. (Rick Cook)

7. The most difficult part of software design ... is to block the introduction of new features. (Donald Norman)

8. In order to understand recursion, we must first understand recursion. (Anonymous)

9. There are only two kinds of programming languages: those who have been criticized and those nobody uses. (Bjarne Stroustrup)

10. The best thing about a boolean is even if you are wrong, you are only off by a bit. (Anonymous)

11. If Java can achieve true garbage collection, most programs would delete themselves that at the time of execution. (Robert Swell)

12. In theory, theory and practice are no different. But in practice, there is. (Jan LA van de Snepscheut)

13. Ready, fire, aim: This is the fastest software development methods. Ready, aim, aim, aim, aim: This is the slowest approach to software development. (Anonymous)

14. Programming is 10% science, 20% talent and 70% of the talent to make it consistent with science. (Anonymous)

15. Assessment of a thing than to understand your assessment of what is easy. (Anonymous)

16. Evaluation will not lie, but people will evaluation. (Anonymous)

17. Training staff, even if they have the risk of job-hopping. They do nothing but stay in the company, so at greater risk. (Anonymous)

18. The goal is to make computer science a thing, and to ensure that it will at least be able to stick to it we developed. (Anonymous)

19. As in Java, JavaScript Car is to the Carpet. (Chris Heilmann)

20. Initially put things right is totally unnecessary. But in the end want to do it right is absolutely essential. (Andrew Hunt and David Thomas)

21. The starting index of the array should start from 0 or 1 from the beginning? My compromise proposal 0.5 is not seriously considered them to reject the - I think so. (Stan Kelly-Bootle)

22. Programs must be written for posters, only incidental to the machine to perform the task. (Abelson / Sussman)

23. Programming can be fun, you can use it to do research into cryptography, but the two must not be combined. (Kreitzberg and Shneiderman)

24. Copy - paste is a design error. (David Parnas)

25. The computer is good at follow instructions, but not good at understanding your thinking. (Donald Knuth)

Software error correction Quotations

1. Delete code is bug-free code. (Jeff Sickel)

2. If the correction is software bug elimination process, it must be programmed to put them in the process. (Edsger Dijkstra)

3. The new error correction code is difficult to write the code than doubled. Because, if you write the smartest code of this calculation, you will have no greater wisdom to debug it.

4. I wanted to find a mistake is very difficult in your own code. And when you think your code is wrong, it is even harder. (Steve McConnel)
   

Software bug Quotations

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1. This is not a bug-- functional characteristics of this one is not indicated. (Anonymous)

2. No requirements or design, programming is a kind of bug is added to an empty text file in the arts. (Louis Srygley)

3. Bad code is not bad, just misunderstood. (Anonymous Code Behaviorist)

4. There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third but easy to use. (Alan J. Perlis)

5. Be careful in the code above bug; I only know that the code is correct, but not tried. (Donald Knuth)

Software product / product Quotations

1. Before the software can be reused, it must be available. (Ralph Johnson)

2. Software is usually released shortly after the completion of beta testing. Beta is a "do not use" means in Latin. (Anonymous)

3. The best performance improvements are available from the software becomes unusable state. (J. Osterhout)

4. The cheapest, fastest, most reliable components are those that have not yet appeared. (Gordon Bell)

5. I think Microsoft named .Net so it wouldn’t show up in a Unix directory listing. (Oktal)

6. Software and churches are very similar - built after we prayed. (Sam Redwine)

7. The last to die unless a user, the software is completed there will be no time. (Anonymous)

8. Today, most of the software are very much like the pyramids of Egypt, made up of thousands of stones a pile of a constitution, not integration, is mandatory and thousands of slaves on the structure by the violence. (Alan Kay)