This book talks about ten major themes
- Skills of getting along with people
- Safe and happy requirements
- How to make people like you
- How to win the approval of others
- How to better persuade others
- Make your family life happy
- How to make you more mature
- Out of a lonely and worried life
- Don't worry about work and money
- Prevent fatigue and keep vitality forever
There are many fields related to family, work, and life.
In the depth of these words, the author and I have a very strong resonance, which is the biggest reason why I like this book.
"If you care about others, you will make more friends in two months than someone who needs to care about himself will make more friends in two years." This is a sentence from "The Weakness of Human Nature" words.
Friendship is what we all need. As the saying goes, "Unity is strength." Only with the help of friends and relatives can things be done well. "The Weakness of Human Nature" tells us how to win friends and build good relationships.
One: skills to get along with others
Don't criticize or complain about others: Yes! Criticism is dangerous, because it often hurts a person’s precious self-esteem, hurts his sense of self-esteem, and arouses his resistance. The jealousy caused by criticism will only reduce morale and feelings, and the blame will not improve. If you are a good friend, appropriate suggestions are still okay, but the attitude must be gentle, and if your friend disagrees with us, we must stop.
Stimulate the needs of other people's inner desires: If everyone can put himself in and think of others, people who have insight into other people's psychology will never worry about their own future. First of all, we must grasp the most urgent needs of the other party. If this can be done, it will be like a fish in the water, otherwise nothing will be done. We often talk about others with the attitude of "standing and talking, not back pain". In fact, do we really consider them from their perspective, mood, and situation? No, never.
Try to understand others as much as possible instead of scolding; try to put yourself in your place and think about why they do it. This is much more beneficial and interesting than criticizing and blaming, and it makes people feel sympathetic, patient and kind.
Two: The key to peace and happiness
The only way to find happiness is not to expect others to be grateful. Giving is a joy of enjoying giving. To pursue true happiness, you must abandon the idea of whether others will appreciate you and only enjoy the joy of giving. If I am criticized in daily life, it is because criticizing you can give him a sense of satisfaction. This also shows that you are accomplished and attracting attention. As long as I believe that I am doing the right thing, don't care about what others say, go your own way, and let others talk.
In addition, in your study and life, you must develop good habits, such as your own desk, your own room, and make yourself comfortable, and feel comfortable looking at it every day.
Nowadays, people’s lives are under a lot of pressure. Nowadays, watching TV shows that the holidays will bring a lot of pressure to everyday people. This requires learning to relax, eliminate fatigue, and not waste your energy. Tension is a habit, and relaxation is also A habit. Our fatigue is often not caused by work, but because of worry, frustration and dissatisfaction. Talking to ourselves every day can guide ourselves to think about what courage and happiness are, what peace and strength are, and talk to ourselves every day. Some things to be thankful for, so that your heart will be bright and happy
Three: How to make people like you
This chapter is my favorite one, because I am usually more stubborn in comparing internal items. Generally I am more open to my acquaintances. When I encounter strangers, I will not be so active. This chapter let me know a lot.
First of all, we must sincerely care about others: We must show our care to others, which is the same as other interpersonal relationships; and our care comes from sincerity. This not only makes the people who pay attention to get corresponding rewards, but the people who get this kind of attention also get something. Do we really care about others? If so, our friends will love us doubly. I think that everyone needs help, and we will also be vulnerable. When a friend reaches out a helping hand, we will truly experience warmth, but don’t forget, what It's all mutual, and our friends will be helpless. Don't forget that you have a strength. Maybe it is this strength that will support him. Maybe it is this strength that makes our friendship stronger.
Second, a smile from the heart: Actions speak and deeds better. Be a smiler, smile will make people understand: "I like you, you make me happy, I am happy to see you." Smile, only need to affect three muscles, why not do this? A smile can shorten the distance between people; a smile can reduce the scope of space; a smile can eliminate the gap between the souls... Carnegie said: smile, the happiness created in the hearts of others will fly back like a strength board To you; creating a feeling of happiness in the hearts of others will make yourself feel greater happiness. In life, ideals often encounter setbacks. It is inevitable that we will be depressed and injured, and sometimes feel left out and abandoned by everyone. Whenever, please remember to show a heartfelt smile to others and yourself. It is best to show eight teeth. . The Buddha said, "Smile with flowers," and martial arts said: "Smile with grudges". When you smile, any unpleasant or unnatural feelings in your heart are static, and the door of the world opens for you.
Four: How to win the approval of others
This chapter taught me the things I should pay attention to when talking with others.
When discussing something with others, start in a friendly way, avoid arguing with others, show respect for other people’s opinions, don’t say "you are wrong", and try your best-let the other person talk more and encounter differences At the time, if you use the method of contention, you will never be satisfied, but with the method of concession, you may get more than you expect
Five: How to persuade others better
How can you better persuade others when you think you are right?
First, indirectly point out the mistakes of others. But before blaming others, think about your own mistakes. Of course, under certain circumstances, you must save the face of others, and then you must ask the person to think about it yourself by asking questions instead of the tone of command, and the other way is to encourage It is easier to make people correct their mistakes and make them happy to do what you suggest.
Six: make your family life happy
This chapter mainly told me about the details and relevant communication skills that should be paid attention to to make the family happy. In the process of getting along with your lover in the future, you must be polite. This is the fundamental. Then you should care about him and understand her from small things. Work, share her hobbies, be her backing and so on. In the case of conflict, you should have a good temper and don’t get excited. Mature psychology plays a key role in it. This is discussed in the next chapter.
Seven: How to make you more mature
The first step towards maturity is to dare to take responsibility. We have to face many responsibilities in our lives when we live in the world, we have to bear the consequences of our actions, we have to be responsible for our actions, and we should always pay attention to those unpleasant behaviors in our daily lives and let others like them. You have to make yourself liked first. The best way to get a friendship is to focus on giving, not getting it-but it should be won by yourself, not by temporary attraction or coaxing. The so-called ability to win friendship does not refer to hooking shoulders, talking with others, acting funny or telling funny jokes, etc. That should refer to a state of mind, an attitude of being in the world, or a desire to dedicate one's love, interest, attention, and service spirit to others.
Eight: Out of a lonely and worried life
Nowadays, most families in the city are only children. Sometimes the feeling of loneliness and anxiety is something that everyone has experienced.
It can be said that loneliness is a common problem of modern people. If we want to overcome loneliness, we must stay away from the shadow of self-pity and bravely walk into a crowd full of light. We are going to meet people and make new friends. The feeling of happiness does not depend on other people's charity, but to win others' needs and love for you. No matter where you go, you must be happy and share your joy with others as much as possible, so that you will pay more friend.
Too much worry can lead to many diseases such as heart disease, peptic ulcer, high blood pressure, so don’t worry too much. We should enjoy life as much as possible. What makes you most relaxed and happy is healthy faith and sleep. , Music and laughter.
Nine: Don't worry about work and money
As the population grows, it is difficult to find a job with cash, and it is even more difficult to find a good job, but if you do not find a job, you cannot live or feed your family. Many people are troubled by this.
In fact, instead of worrying about this all day long and feeling depressed, it is better to go out and build good interpersonal relationships. If you get to know a friend more, there may be another way out in the future.
Ten: Prevent fatigue and keep vitality forever
Working hard all day to earn money, and life stress, fatigue is something that everyone will definitely have. Appropriately ask a few good friends, go outside to relax and socialize, relax yourself, and relax your body and mind. This may be You will get more happiness from it. The greatest advantage of young people lies in their vitality, vitality and passion.
After reading "The Weakness of Human Nature", I have learned too much, "In human nature, the deepest nature is the desire to be valued by others." Please let us value our friends and let friendship surround you, me, and him. . Therefore, I hope you can find a look, compare what you have done, and ask yourself: Have I overcome the weakness of human nature? Then, it is good for oneself, for others, and for society.