20s, you confused and anxious

20s, you confused and anxious. You want a house you want the car, you want to travel you want to enjoy life.
You are so young but spying on the whole world, but you want to see through life so impetuous.
You continue to urge yourself to grow quickly, but Shen heart to no less quiet reading an article; you again and again sounded the clarion call forward, but always fell not far away from the start.
Grow, really urgent as you think? - Transfer from Yahoo "another living law."

First, do not worry, do not worry

Last week business trip in Nanjing, the night dragged his exhausted friends meet to talk, to talk about two in the morning. Back at the hotel for almost three points colleague roommate has not actually sleep, a cigarette, facing the old under 65 layers night scene in a daze. His non-talkative person, bald, an artist's appearance, temperament natural indifference, is nothing more than official before intercourse, but no more than words. I do not know how mentality and referred to the choice of today's young people, it is actually talking to, no longer Shoubu Zhu.
His 18-year-old out of the battles, did not read the university, 38-year-old, he is a well-known magazine's design director. If this is an inspirational story of old-fashioned, I may no longer be interested to hear it. But he said, I do not know your generation is how to think, I distinguish between offensive and label after a few zero-zero after a few, I talked with a lot of their peers do not come. People rely on recognition of the value of each other, rather than age. Now your generation all looked very anxious, houses, cars, tickets, it is your peers, not all think so, right? I nodded. He continued, in fact, every generation has its own anguish, really, are so over. Two years ago I have his house, his son is two years old this year. I think everything is good. I work at the age of 25 units in a system, there are seven or eight years of work experience, I can not stay, go. Leading me a drink. He stuffy a glass of wine, she told me that you are still young, do not think too much, do not worry, do the right thing. In this sentence, I'm good enough so far. I love to play young, impetuous, there is always the temptation leap out. I remember the old leadership of this sentence, others do not want, do their own thing, just a blink of an eye to the present. He continued, you struggle to say something, I have never, that is, step by step. House, car stuff, really, as long as you're not stupid stupid, do the practical thing to do, the time will be there, can not be without. Do not think about it. Never mind how other people do, trust your own judgment. Defensible, slowly.
He said, defensible, slowly.
A month ago, when I first came, to take home more than a dozen of the magazine. Hurriedly turned finish, desperate stuck sofa, send text messages to the teacher: When can wrote four articles writer ah? Ding gap is not a slightest. His back, do not worry, you're young. I said, I'm 24 years old, and do not see little hope. He returned, only 24 years old. Our youngest is also 30-something, do not worry.
Only 24 years old. He even said twice, do not worry.
Li Xiao in "the time as a friend," to write, we are always on short-term earnings expectations too high, but then the long-term earnings expectations too low.
He was referring to English, also said that life.
Anyway, still anxious.

Second, "known to be as early as possible," has harmed so many people

Some people say, you want to be the kind of person, then that person to go around. Not everyone is so lucky, but this is not just about words, or a career, but also about life wisdom. It is easy to enlarge the immediate pain or achievements, but with the older liberal predecessors exchange, they are a single glance what stage you are experiencing now for your trip, but a screw; you see through the feeling of sadness and turns, perhaps they have had confusion.
At the age of 18 -23 years old at that time, I love to read very unpromising celebrity history. Each knows a admire, envy, jealousy and hatred, I went to search for his experience - Master of old graduate? When to complete a PhD? How old began to emerge in the professional field? When to reach today's achievements?
Age, age, age, it is a time of anxiety. Eileen Chang a "known to be as early as possible," I do not know how many people harm. I resent the success of science, as it is obvious that not everyone trying to be successful, but I am sure he is a lucky one. I am ambitious, energetic; I'm arrogant, to their strengths and talents in the shape of elation; I think all serious topic, read with the mysteries of the world related books, toward the vast civilization through the ages salute; I expect people I read in the publication of the text, talk about my name in the media; I yearn for fame, money, a beautiful girl with long hair, I repeatedly read Xu Zhiyuan "those young sad", is another equally proud of the soul and an upsurge surging.
I was 20 years old.
All of celebrity books, lectures, told me that a person should know what they want to get things done. Today, countless peers article, microblogging, in the wildly popular publication, but are also filled with a similar view, and even has become a discourse with anti Success means that, with a natural "correctness" of large by the "independent-minded" thinking youth identity.
But you just ask a farewell mechanical boring high school life, understanding of the world and life of young people just starting out, what he wants? He wants honors, prestige among the students, a beautiful girlfriend, he also wants to find work after graduation enviable, as soon as possible to make money, fame, success.
Some people may ask, this is a problem?Admittedly, this is "what I want" but only model of the production line, trying to polish all young people into the same faces. "What you want" should not be just about the earthly career, fame, it should meet the deeper proposition, of their own struggle and exploration, that is - Who am I?
who are you? Want to take over all university scholarships, thought about the abundance of material life, want to get a high-paying job, want to have your own home ...... Noooo in Beijing Fourth Ring ...... Who are you?
Why is that willingness on all possible objects paint their guy to do it a company employee, because everyone says, there is no freedom of the artist's life stable and secure?
Why is that determined to "铁肩担道义, Cherish the article" girl, entered the state-owned enterprises, because parents insistent, reporters income is not as high state-owned enterprises?
who are you? I mean, stripped of everything outside gives your position and shackles, parents and elders try to isolate all around you, interfere with your voice, forget all the mass media, publications and celebrities who give you an output value judgments, and you are Who? Within the shell that you pounding, buzzing him, her, it, who is?
Unfortunate things, you come ware?
20 years old age, do not know what they want, not only not a disaster, but may be a blessing.
But you must know who you are hazy on what things interested in it? If even these do not know, it really is a disaster.
Know what interest would come a little start. No matter how many voices trying to turn you, that you love, fascinated by this thing, no future career prospects, no future, no development, nothing, please have a lengthy said to him (her): Fuck off, this is my own life.
Why not, because the love. Priceless love.
Some articles I've written over the years once sent Dan teacher to see. He was pleased, replied, diction and then quiet some of the better, but so slowly to write it. He did not say, you have to strive written on the effort, in future become a famous reporter and writer. I know what he meant: Do you like it, do it slowly.
Where to go, it is not important.

Third, why make life "Prison"

A friend asked me, after a good reporter wanted to do? I said, do not know. He surprised, you are not mixed media circles? I was also surprised, why give your life under a defined age in the early 20s it? That is the definition of shackles, namely Prison. Is this age, should not be doing everything possible to extend its reach to touch different, diverse things, perception and observe the rich, hidden world of infinite possibilities it?
A definition that closed the door of possibilities. How do you know your own future will not encounter even more curious, excited thing? You just 20s, 20s, 20s. Why can not I do the professional traveler? Why not do it NGO? Why can not the code word for several years, suddenly fell in love with photography? why not?
Reading biographies, can benefit in life is a critical moment of decision by him who, referring to his own life; and the negative effects it may be more deadly - "grew up determined to be a ......."
If you go back and sort out their own life experience, spend some thought, it seemed to see a clear track and route, and then "suddenly realized": I follow exactly this way, step by step of the way, originally I wanted from the start to become such a person ah. If you apply for the school wrote PS, you may have a similar experience. However, this may be highly deceptive "illusion" - Looking back on the past history will inevitably summary, classification, brought out to the main line is not difficult. Most likely, you want to be right from the start is not such a person, do not even know how to go their own way, but stumbled, and follow the interest came up.
Yes, interest, rather than planning - "grew up determined to be a ......."
If in the future I somehow became a video games player, I can look back fondly at the personal biography, "I have always wanted to become a professional video game player" because my 4-year-old started playing video games, still stopped working, considered the enthusiasts.
Forget, and Ping Tang young poet, young artists, and later built a gynecological doctor, then later made a consulting firm, and now do Industries.
Forget the old law until 27 years old, still consider themselves lifelong insulation with the "teacher" and "English" these two words.
I have always been "plan" word holds alert, so-called career planning, life planning, fooled the public.
Life is by perception, how to plan it? Career opportunities and rely on trial and error, how to design it? How the plan is successful, it is nonsense. When 28-year-old teacher Dan boarded the plane to the United States, how to plan their own in this life to become a scholar of the public sphere to speak celebrities? He just likes to paint, to draw, a pen painting; Qin Hui teacher 15 years old when the countryside to jump the queue, consider themselves to be in this life in rural areas, and how "to become the benchmark for China's intellectual" mean? He just likes reading, studying, reading a books.
If I invited four or five years of age have the opportunity to young people to open lectures, it must be called "My life without a plan"; If I fared depressed in the secular sense is it nobody cares about Luther? I just like to talk about their grandchildren play on fast hardware in a fun story, "no plan of life" chant.

Four, who have no right to tell you how to live

If you thought the humanities often participate in mainland China Sharon, oh no, or is universal celebrity lectures. In the Q & A session that you hardly miss a question, "XX teacher Hello, Do you have any comments and suggestions for contemporary young people?"
According to some speakers complained unanimous, which is almost their most disgusted, tired of problems. Perhaps even questioning themselves are difficult to realize, this silly question lurks a subtle psychological causes: Please tell us how to be as successful as you come out ahead.
if not? As someone scholars have said, a young man a kindly old thing to teach yourself how to face the world's fresh. It absurd? Dan says that love Why Why go, my business? You finally born in an era of free choice, still want people to guide you how to live.
Really even do what they like, I do not know how to live it? Want to win afraid of losing nothing. What to do, what kind of road to go, do not follow the inner voice step by step exploration, trial and error out of it? Take the fork, then return to; go radical, some of it is slow. From time to time to stop and think about it, for a look at, pondering, and then continued walking.
How could it not stumble? How could everything go smoothly it? How could there be vast flat bar road called "success" for you to get it? Much trial and error, it turns out a few myself and what kind of people come at it? Similarly, much of what they like to try some of it turns out what does not fit?
As Dan teacher foreword Jia Zhangke, "Step by step we had to save myself, I rely on is one stroke to paint, Jia Zhangke's film relies inch by inch."
Select young people just as quick success of the entire country portrayal of "treatment after pollution", the first growth after a successful, find someone interested to find work, to get ahead and then find myself. Someone workplace friends complained that he lost the confusion in the workplace. Not knowing in the end for the job?
I asked, what do you like in the end? He softly Well for a long time, do not know.
Some made it clear that I do not like his job. Then I go to report a Latin dance classes do, to report a guitar class?
Not engaged in their own career-minded problem is not large, it wants to spare develop preferences. But I wake up later,Than "not to engage in their favorite thing to do" a hundred times disastrous, is are they "do not know what they like to do."
Yellow stripe state law had wrote, "Now that I think Chinese parents instilled from small to large to have been read to read the book to read to seize the best read the Dr. and go to work really kill people, this seems to be too heavy to go on show , in fact, attend more to the back the more impetuous (very much agree with this sentence). Americans where gap year, and have actually easier to find here gap year life of their own. life has always been a precipitation process, hurried to the degree ladder climbing to do! "
it reminds me of listening to a story. An Australian, after graduating from college in Al-Jazeera correspondent for three years, traveled to Europe, went to read after a master's degree in philosophy of economics, but also to volunteer in Africa for two years, so he told me to become a senior sister apprentice when the name of "human rights" Master's program students, 33 years old. I understand, he finished a PhD Master why not continue it? "He found life in a new point of interest came only a year or two to read the book, but the extent of these interests did to Dr. So-depth, and the direction of doctoral research is likely to be lifelong Chi", senior sister apprentice Road. After graduation he were 35 years old, what do? "He seems not OK."
This seems to be a negative examples do not fly. As some old classmates impression on me. They spoke, envy you colorful life, listening to my recent plan and sympathetic tut sighed, then you have students who come back how old? 27-year-old. PHD also read it? do not know. When you get married? Who knows, 30 years old? Perhaps when studying the flash marriage. You too do not fly it, I have a minor in students who come back ...... that you can find more than one fast hardware work? I said, not necessarily to go abroad to find a better job, occupation does not currently want to study abroad also do. what? What is the significance that go abroad?
Personal experience, vision and self-improvement. Look at the larger world, find more possibilities to them.
After all, I did not say these words.

Fifth, you want to be happy or "be somebody"

Have you ever thought, after all this life is just a little mediocre, failed to achieve all your dreams? This is a very wide spread network of a post.
I ask everyone in the group in the south wall. Ma said, no, to be honest we are all wonderful people, according to its own rhythm step by step, not bad.
I also asked a friend. If you are after all just a mediocre man, who did not realize the dream of fast hardware, and the world did not change, we will be happy?
I asked, food and clothing to worry about it? He said that certainly, not so miserable friends. Just say, quite ordinary, may just be an average of reporters and editors, little out of color in the unit, also the highest monthly salary of ten thousand down, submitted for, raising children, open cars ordinary cars. No pain, but nothing glorious, life.
Whether home space enough to make me hang the projector screen open play live? can.
Also like football, like reading, like all things youth like? Yes.
Sometimes a few friends, skewers beer, drink and a laugh; sometimes Saturday and Sunday, the stadium meet? Yes.
happy.
He looked into my eyes. happy. I nodded.
Not long ago, traveling to the northeast, the road deepest feelings than differences tour guide, flight attendant, salesperson. You will easily find the character of the people completely distinguished.
We encountered warm and talkative, we mingle with the tour guide, also encountered black face like guests owed her money, like, I did not ask few words on the impatient guide; encountered as with all common public servants like ferocious crew , also encountered in uniform sitting in the car with a passenger nonsense amused crew.
If you are an ordinary tour guide, flight attendant, how would you treat your guests? Given that this is the future no longer dealing with "one shot deal", not to mention very few people really have to complain Xianxin your bad attitude.
Taking into account your perfect service attitude is probably not bring any tangible benefits to you, in addition to the guests a thanks, a smiling face. The unit can not be noticed your "good performance", your performance will not be good promotion, poor performance can hardly be dismissed - in China, the guests repeated complaints of bad attitude may actually like to discuss leadership, promotion more than you fast. You know.
All in all, your attitude can not bring any visible benefits to your real life, this life you will be an ordinary tour guide, flight attendant, salesperson. How would you do?
Yes, maybe you are just a mediocre life, but the attitude will still bring cloud of mud do not quality of life. You love life and work and sincere perception, understanding, kind to others, perhaps never to give your life to bring any tangible rewards and change, but soften your heart and the boundary of the world. You constantly receives positive feedback from otherness (thanks, smile, goodwill), and then continue to release positive energy, forming a virtuous circle.
I will remember for a long time the tour. The crew, that were warm salesman, and a hearty smile. I think of it all warmth.
Perhaps this life they are guided tours, flight attendants, salesmen, what is difficult to promotion, but their attitude, I read a real pleasure.
Do a thing like it not to do it the best return it? As writing is the return of writing, painting is a painting of reward.

Sixth, the growth of an hour an hour to boil out

I used to like a friend's signature, "a better person."
Xu disease phrase does not yet overflowing firm, then, have many times gives me strength.
Today, I feel this sentence is full of "higher, faster, stronger" progressivism accent, overwhelming the inspirational words, I fell in love happens "destroy Chi." I prefer the "feel" of the word. Maybe we can not create life, life planning, perhaps, appreciate, experience, perception, understanding, and this is the key to grow?
Become a better person? If today chatted with my mother sitting in the afternoon sun day, aimlessly, childhood, growth, household chores, there is no better person? If today did not read the biography of Wittgenstein, not with nearly the latest blog Han Han, do not refresh it, and just to give myself a delicious meal, lying in the arms of lovers in a daze, be considered abandoned life?
This generation of Chinese youth may face some kind of paradoxical self-contradictory, on the one hand, we have an unprecedented premature aging generation, "the age of eighteen old" age of twenty, began to nostalgia, although still young, "Do you love talk I love laughter "time became a generation of collective nostalgia; on the other hand, we desperately wanted to run forward, want a stable, worry-free life, I want to embrace live some definite sense of anxiety, trying to immediately like thirty or forty people as garage no shortage of career success.
You, you, you,
really enjoy the young? Why do you nostalgic side while still trying to run?
You, you, you,
really love adventure and drift it? Why would ideally satisfied to stabilize real estate license and do Warlords?
You, you, you,
really cherish the possibility of it? Why do I see you have to embrace rather premature "end of life"?
The possibility of a better life, do not experience that this slowly, step by step, day by day quietly perception, but in the future grand sketch?
Married, son Tim, the rise of Fu Keji, a small manager, Dr. graduate, buy a car and go so fast. I have anxiety, and later discovered that it was not my rhythm. I am slow of a cow. If the direction is wrong, it will pocket a large circle, if the direction right, not afraid slow.
Step by step, inch by inch, a little bit, day by day, slowly.
I do not know where to go eventually, while still while swinging around, go one step further pause, touch the bumper of that, trying to perceive, observe, understand the world. Fresh curious way to go. But I'm sure, I will go myself want to go the avenue; I'm sure I'll be like as Javier said, follow your heart, live in the real inside.
2011 may not be the most successful year ever, been repeatedly thwarted, plan ran aground. It looked back and then stood on tiptoe to look a look in 2012, I still want to drawled, We are all dead long live so why worry, take your time.
All of the growth and greatness, "as Chinese medicine and old fire soup, which is an hour an hour to boil out."
Life goes slowly afraid, afraid of the wrong way
when I first came to the United States, China always hear people say that the United States lazy, We can cite many examples. Americans will go on vacation every year, at least to the seaside, Tang Tang on the beach.
Chinese people to officers, did dry up day and night. Bitter to eat something, is unique in the world, I often hear Americans say that the people in the restaurant, work really hard week classes six days, restaurateur person or even a day seven days on duty. American restaurants, the day's afternoon classes and evening classes into two classes, the general staff had only five half-day classes.
However, you really have to open a restaurant to chat with those, they will tell you, but to earn enough money one, it is no longer a restaurateur.
Because tired, rather boring, boring things, one is not long, and second, can not have innovation, to become first-class. Therefore, Chinese food is almost synonymous with fast food in the United States, rather than the high-end logo.
Americans seem lazy, pleasure will, but the United States still powerful, and the Chinese toil, can China is still a developing country, and this in secret.
And, although people go fast, often taking the wrong path. Americans go slow, but often the right track.
When go faster, if mistakes, big losses. Fifties, iron and steel on the occasion, each regarded smashed to Lian steel wok, including the year, steel production in the United States and almost catch the Premier League, but so Ze and dried fish like steel-making, subsequent fatigue, and later disaster ensued.
Slow advantage is that there is enough time to evaluate the results, there is an error stopped. China's rapid economic growth now, celebrating, however, this is not no worries, damage to the environment is amazing. Environmental pollution affects human health, the health spending doubled, which erodes the quality of life.
Chinese people, to build a house quickly, but do not pay attention to maintenance, a house, lived for 25 years on the dilapidated, to reinvent the wheel up. Americans own house, we spend a year maintenance effort, some fifty years of the house, still like new.
Not as good as hard work ingeniously, ingeniously have plans, are good use of existing resources, rather than simply reinvent the wheel every city.
Your perseverance. Chinese people know the truth, but can not do in practice.
Chinese students began to learn some elementary school content, start school at the University of content, some universities as well as junior class, these people really learning fast enough. However, why on Nobel rankings, they have been slow to nameless?
The key is that many people run fast, but, but often changes direction, no perseverance. Many college students out of school is not in a study. The United States is to promote lifelong learning.
Look economist. Chinese students in mathematics than students in the United States, Nobel Prize-winning American economist obtained much more than China, taking into account the use of modern economics very deep mathematical knowledge, this is incredible.
However, further observation, which is also found among reasonable. Some American scientists, including economists, there is a strong Jingye spirit. A lifetime engaged in the research field, wide pine does not regret. Finally, in mid-titles and captured, it is not accidental.
In the technical field, Chinese people use way to run a restaurant management software, many programmers tired and want to change jobs. Accumulated a lot of experience in vain. Shu is a pity.
So, I would say, slow life, as long as the right direction, not afraid to go. A little slower, perhaps successfully come back late, but better quality guarantee of success; a little slower, maybe not so early to reach the end, but it will not be too exhausted or too impatient and give up halfway. What do you think?
The best growth is to have a good moment every moment
William Osborne music was a famous doctor, he more and more exposed to the troubles and worries because he is sick, they always worry too much because in the past and future concerns, long-term depressed , destroyed health. For a more thorough medical good these people sick, he gave them a simple but effective recipe: "Every moment is unique," meaning that: we live in today, just do something today to well, do not worry about tomorrow or the day after things; we live in the moment, we should cherish this moment of time, each moment is unique, not a thing of the past.
He said: "unlimited cherish the moment and today, what we have to worry about a thing is worth it to live every day as long as bedtime enough, people often do not know to resist trouble always die young?." Indeed, all day in worry, the body is like a rope-like, pull got me, sooner or later will pull off.
......
day to day, now more concerned about the time and day when we put into short short days, everything will become much easier. If we only live a moment in each, there is no time to regret, no time to worry, but only focus on the immediate. Wise man once only chew a small fragment of life, because it will not be choked.
Every moment is unique, it is not a continuation of the past, nor is it one by one linear future. Time is the numerous "now" connected together in series, every moment, every moment will be eternal.
So, when we eat, when to eat at all, no matter what to eat: When we play, we should totally be fun, no matter what play; when we love each other, we should totally to love, do not care In the past, the future is not calculating, totally to invest.
Like "Gone with the Wind," the actress Scarlett, as in the time of trouble always said to myself, "Now I do not want them, and so on till tomorrow, after all, tomorrow is another day." Yesterday is over, tomorrow is yet to come, why think so much, just too good at the moment the most realistic, otherwise, at the moment of time is about to disappear, to go on where to find?
I have a small relatives in elementary school when his grandmother died. Grandmother during his lifetime he loved most, the little guy can not rule out their grief, every day tea do not think Rice did not want, did not mind learning all day immersed in pain. The people around say He is an emotional boy, his parents were very worried because, sadness is a normal one or two days, a week or two of sadness can be understood, but six months have passed, he always crying and refused to eat well and learn, seriously affected his growth.
Mom and Dad do not know how to comfort him. I went to their house just once, to see this situation, and the little boy decided to chat.
"Why are you so sad?" I asked him.
"Because my grandmother never come back." He replied.
"Do you know what will never come back?" I asked.
"Ah - I do not know what else it will never come back.?" He could not answer, ask the.
"All the time things have passed will never come back to your past like yesterday, it will never become yesterday, since we can not go back to what make up yesterday; just like Father used to like you little, if unpleasant to play in his childhood so small, do not learn to lay a firm foundation, it can not go back again to a back; just as today the sun is about to go down, if we missed the sun today, never be brought back the original. "
he's a clever boy, after school every day to go home and watch the sun in the courtyard inside the house inch by inch to sink below the horizon, I know that one day really been finished, although tomorrow there will be a new sun, but the sun will never have today, he knows no longer thing of the past and addiction, but to learn and live, now seize every moment.
Every day, every hour, every minute is a special moment, every moment is unique. Because, you can not go back later.
Life, the moment is really, edge to Serve magic. So, I would like to encourage each other with all readers and friends: in front of every moment, every serious live; everything, we must seriously do; everyone should seriously because "phantom edge to Serve "Do not let yourself leaving behind only" too late, "the grudge. Dead can not recover, to those who may still be the most precious treasure that is most in need of the moment - the meaning of life is composed of this every single moment.