He Caitou - When You're Hacked On The Web

Author of this article: He Caitou This article is for personal reading only
He - When You Are Hacked on the Internet
(This article was first published on August 13, 2015, today is July 29, 2016, re-published Publish once, because a good article is worth publishing again and again)

We enjoy the convenience brought by the Internet, and we will inevitably suffer the harm brought by the Internet. Is that so? I went online 16 years ago and have stuck to the internet norms of that era - always be in the form of an ID and be ashamed of posting pictures of myself. But people can't do that anymore, right?

The Internet is invading offline life at an unprecedented speed. I know a little sister who posts her selfie on Weibo every day. In exchange, her Taobao store can sell 3,000 items within 24 hours for 180 yuan Money dress, as long as the model is herself. At the same time, she has to endure the foul language in the message, which is a necessary price.

In the past ten years, many of my friends have been attacked from the Internet, including directors, singers, celebrities, entrepreneurs, and more ordinary people. And as time goes by, the number of ordinary people being harmed online is increasing day by day. They came to me because I was the only one of their friends who had experienced multiple tens of thousands of cyber attacks. Here is what I once said to them:

If we look carefully at our lives, we will find that in one lifetime, the struggle for control of the will is the eternal theme of life. No matter how committed you are to the free growth of your children, you can't help but control your children to develop in the direction you want; for example, no matter how committed you are to equality between men and women, you can never get rid of who dominates between men and women The struggle for control.

The same thing happens between you and your "enemy". Your "enemy" is always trying to get your attention by attacking you and expecting a response from you. In this way, he/she can establish a biological reflex between attack and response, train you like a dog, and use the attack on you to establish a conditioned reflex to control your behavior. If your "enemy" knows that an attack will provoke a response from you, he or she is controlling you and taking away your will.

And many things in the world can't rely on instinct, it's like being stabbed in the palm of your hand by a fish hook. Because of the barbs on the hook, your instinct is to pull out the hook immediately, and the result is more damage from the barbs and hard-to-heal wounds. Therefore, the correct disposal method will go against your instinct. You have to endure the pain and force the fish hook to pierce your palm and come out transparently. At this point, you cut the head of the hook with pliers and pull the hook out, leaving a penetrating wound on your palm, but it heals faster and scars less than a raw laceration.

If you want to argue and fight back with those who attack you, the situation is like pulling a fish hook, and you have to pay a heavy price. I have a former Tencent colleague, a beautiful girl who abandoned her family and ran from Shenzhen to Shanghai to start her own business. For a while, she continued to post on Moments about her competitors slandering her company in the industry group. I was very disapproving and said two words in the thread. So she deleted the original post and posted something more aggrieved and complained.

As a former colleague, why am I not on her side? Why don't I speak up? Because I think there is a very big deviation in the way she handles it. For a person and his career, no matter how much pressure, how much slander and grievance, it is best not to show it publicly. Because the world as a whole is ruthless and people don't really care about each other.

People will never understand your dedication and hard work, people will always expect a full story. What is a complete story? The full story is that you get hit by an "enemy" and then you fight back, smashing them to pieces with devastating force. There's only the part that gets hit, it's the incomplete part, the understanding is that you show a weakness that can be attacked, and not many people will sympathize with that. Fight back or die, this is the expected ending of the story. And people are also waiting for the end of the story, ready to send regrets or applause at any time.

If you don't have the ability to kill with one hit, never respond to someone's attack on you, never show your weakness in front of others, and show that you are passively responding to the other's attack. It doesn't matter whether you are good or bad, people respect the person who will live to tomorrow. Perhaps, one will complain about why no one would lend a helping hand in this difficult time. But the truth is, it's only by going through it all, and being lucky enough to survive, that we can grow into indifferent adults. Indifferent adults do not love each other, but they know each other has experienced the same ordeal as themselves, so they maintain a silent respect in the indifference. You have to survive to enjoy the comforting indifference of this moment, like soldiers drinking silently in a bar without hugging each other.

People respond to attacks most of the time because they are in love with their own phantoms. We believe that we are a good person, a good person, and we are on the right path, so any slander, slander, or slander is unbearable. Because of this, we are controlled by people with malicious intent. As long as the other party invents a fact that does not exist, they can completely control our behavior like the reins on the nose of a bull. We can't help but refute, argue, and prove ourselves. So he fell into the game set by the other party, waiting forever for the other party to send a provocative signal, and then attacked. It's like a sad bull in the bullring, teased by the bullfighter, and when all the blood and bravery is exhausted, only a fatal blow is ushered in.

So, the most important thing is to take back control of things. For the hurt person, his/her greatest and most pressing desire is to attract your attention, make you feel angry, humiliated, anxious, and react to his/her aggression. For such a person, the greatest punishment is not a beautiful counterattack, but the complete defeat of his/her hunger. There is no expected reaction, not even deleting or clicking, let alone publishing content. Believe me, at this moment, the damage you feel from attacking is far weaker than the damage you do not respond to the other party. . Because he/she can't cast any psychic magic and use hurt to control your will and behavior, this is the biggest frustration in his/her life. If you want to punish the other person, this is probably the most severe punishment.

Never trust an outsider. You only need to gather 100 people, and you can send out thousands of content attacking you within an hour. It makes you feel like the negative comments are all over the place and the whole world is turning away from you. Trust me, that's not true. I have been attacked by tens of thousands of people online many times, resulting in hundreds of thousands of negative comments. So what? If I believe I'm doing the right thing, how about a hundred times that order of magnitude? We don't do things for the decibel size of the sound, we do things to be true to our hearts and finally stick to our own values. You must always believe that there are far more people who support you than those who oppose it, but those who support you often express it in a silent way and vote with your feet.

The ego is an extremely precious thing. Everyone in the world is trying to take control of themselves. Control you with money, power, violence, values, influence, or a combination of them to make you do what he/she wants. Attacking on the Internet is only the most obvious form of it, using your self-craving to control you. So the power to break free of this control lies deep within yourself: which is more offensive to you about being attacked on yourself or being controlled by others? If you are vigilant enough about any attempt at mind control, and examine every anger, sadness, anxiety of your own, then a pure flame of anger will rise deep within you, Enough to burn all tyrannical foreign objects. You have to love your independent and complete self, like the treasure that everyone in the world longs for. In this way, no one can break and shake your mind.

In Buddhism, there is a special term called: Negative Increase of the Upper Condition. It means that in one's life, there will always be situations that are not conducive to oneself. In such a situation, these situations of disobedience to oneself should be regarded as a special kind of fate, from which to draw the power to improve oneself, and to obtain liberation and improvement from it. There is also a Buddhist saying, which we know biologically is not true, but it is very moving: peacocks eat poison to make their feathers gorgeous.

May you retain all your self and continue to bloom.