From programmer to project manager (19): It is futile to try to change anyone
Everyone has shortcomings and deficiencies. As a manager, if you always want to reform your employees, this is an unrealistic approach, because everyone is a thinking individual and can only be changed from the inside out. Everyone has a role to play, and project managers should think more about how to use them now rather than trying to transform their employees.
1. Everyone can only change from the inside out
There is no perfect person in the world, and programmers are the same, and there will be deficiencies in one way or another. It is not easy for a project manager to find someone who feels really "easy to use". How to deal with the shortcomings of programmers is a problem that every project manager needs to think about carefully.
When some project managers face the shortcomings of programmers, they will appear too impatient and hate iron. Some programmers are relatively slow in thinking, and they need repeated communication and confirmation for any problem. The project manager criticized them: "How can you understand such a poor ability! Go back and read the logic book." Not in a hurry, the project manager couldn't help but say: "Why can't you do such a simple job, isn't it just... such a simple thing?" "Why are you so annoying! Think about it, and ask again after you think about it." Some people talked with the client for a long time, but could not tell the reason. The project manager was so anxious that he sweated.
It is understandable that the project manager is anxious. It is nothing more than hoping to put pressure on employees through criticism, so as to give them the motivation to grow. But in the end it turned out to be useless.
Faced with the shortcomings of employees, many managers give too many reminders, teach, criticize, and even lose their temper for the purpose of loving and cultivating talents. In fact, it is very difficult for a person to change himself, and it is mostly futile to change others.
Think of what our parents taught us. Parents take the trouble to teach us all kinds of knowledge and the principles of life. After listening too much, it will become nagging, and it will not have any impact on the individual at all. This is because the experience of others cannot become one's own experience, and a person's experience must be obtained by his own experience. When someone tells you that roses are beautiful and fragrant, if you don't see them, you won't feel them. Only you can see its bright colors with your eyes, smell its fragrance with your nose, and touch its fragrance with your hands. When wet, your knowledge of roses can become your own experience, internalized as your own knowledge.
Most people can only truly grow after experiencing setbacks themselves. Everyone's growth is a process of constant mistakes. As a manager, although there is a need to remind and teach, but there is no need to worry about it. If you are too impatient and want to reform the employees as soon as possible, this will only make you lose patience, and further make the employees very bored, and even deliberately avoid the project manager to avoid embarrassment. Therefore, project managers must learn to tolerate the mistakes of employees properly, in fact, this is the real opportunity for them to grow.
To take a step back, employees are actually just taking a job in the company, not to transform themselves. The project manager has no obligation and no right to ask a person to change, but can only make good use of him now. If you agree, you will continue, if you don't, you will break up. It's that simple. Growth is a person's intrinsic need for development, not a manager's external requirement.
American writer Ferguson famously said: "No one can persuade others to change. Each of us guards a door of change that can only be opened from within. No matter whether it is emotional or rational, we cannot open the door for others. .” The project manager should stop trying to change your employees, or you may end up hurting others with good intentions, as in the story of plucking the seedlings.
2. How to train employees
Everyone can only change from the inside out, which does not mean that managers ignore the problems of employees completely, but should adopt a more scientific method to cultivate employees.
(1) Train employees like educating children
There are two important misunderstandings in the traditional way Chinese parents educate their children:
One is mold education. The consistent way Chinese parents educate their children is to stipulate that it must be this way, it must be that way, or that this can't be done or that can't be done. Parents set various boundaries for their children, just like a mold, and children can only follow the shape of the mold. to grow. This will only let the child's nature not be brought into play, and will eventually lead to the child's rebellious psychology.
The second is cramming education. Parents let their children attend various training classes, instilling various scientific and cultural knowledge day and night, regardless of whether the child can accept it or not, let alone whether the child is interested. This kind of education method that forcefully pours knowledge into the stomach will inevitably cause "indigestion" in children, and may eventually become "weak".
Both of these misunderstandings are manifestations of disrespecting human nature and the law of human growth. Internationally, there is a widely recognized educational concept called Waldorf education. In this concept, every child is like a small sapling. He has the ability to grow by himself. What parents should do is not to pull the sapling and cut the branches, but to create a good growth atmosphere for the child and provide suitable The soil where children grow up.
Although we are talking about the education of children, in fact, we can use the same philosophy to train our employees. In a company, if managers want employees to grow, their primary task is not to mechanically tell employees what to do, but to create a good team atmosphere, create a soil suitable for employees' growth, and let employees grow by themselves.
The team has a positive atmosphere, which can stimulate the vitality of employees. Knowledge is like the nutrient in the soil, which can flow in it, and each employee can receive this nutrient. In a lifeless team, each employee is a closed energy body, knowledge is enclosed in it, it is difficult for the outside to enter, and the inside cannot get out. The main job of the project manager is to connect these closures with the energy body and allow the energy to flow freely so that everyone can get the most growth.
(2) To differentiate the shortcomings of employees
It is important to create an atmosphere, but we cannot turn a blind eye to the shortcomings of our employees. Different actions should be taken for different types of problems of employees.
- The problem of lack of skills
Due to the consideration of talent echelon construction, the company will inevitably recruit new employees who are relatively inexperienced, and they will often be assigned to the project for exercise. Even old employees will be incompetent in the face of new business or new technologies. Faced with this kind of problem, the project manager should take the initiative to face it, strengthen the training and counseling of employees, and hold internal technical exchanges on a regular basis if necessary. More active, the project team is more cohesive.
- Personality and Attitude Issues
Character flaws or negative attitudes in employees often lead to inappropriate behaviors. This is the most painful part of the project manager, and it is also where the project manager wants to transform employees. But as the saying goes, you don't need a hammer to hit a drum, and it's useless if you break a silent drum. Rather than harshly preaching and criticizing, it may be more effective to only raise appropriate points and leave room for both parties.
顾名思义，提点也就是提醒、点拨。一般情况下，提醒即可，对于重要的问题，则进行点拨，项目经理尽到自己的责任即可。项目经理确实有责任带领员工一起进步，但绝不是要改造他。
对员工行为不当的原因，要进行针对性的分析，区分是外在的因素，还是其性格使然，也就是要看问题出在谁身上，根据实际情况想办法。例如，有些人喜欢 和项目经理对着干，有可能是项目经理自身的原因，比如项目经理过于固执、自以为是，不顾及员工感受等。这种情况下项目经理要自我检讨，自我改变。还有可能 是综合原因，例如员工待遇偏低，心里不爽，以跟项目经理消极对抗的形式发泄出来。这时项目经理需要对员工的能力和薪资进行分析、评估，设身处地考虑员工感 受，帮助员工争取合理的利益。
- 正确看待员工特点
人有千百种，很多事情并没有对错之分。有些问题看似是员工的不足，其实换一个角度来看，它就是一个人的特点而已，要以平和心对待。例如员工不善言 辞、理解力差，表面上看是缺点，实际上更是他的特点，这就好比软件的设计特性一样，不能算是Bug。一个人的特点是上帝的设计，不是项目经理可以改造的。
3.每个人都有用武之地
李白有一句诗：“天生我才必有用”，这不只是对我们每个人的鼓励，也是在提醒项目经理，要学会用人。
一个优秀的管理者会因材施用。既然每个人都有用，那我们就应该顺应他的特点，发挥他的长处，何必非要盯着他不足的地方呢？
相信大家都见过根雕。好的根雕作品应该是顺应树根的形状进行设计和雕琢，它们往往让人惊讶于大自然的神奇和艺术家的想象力。试想如果对树根进行刀砍斧斫，把它的棱棱角角都削平，搞得很光滑，你摸上去倒是很舒服，但这样反倒失去了其艺术性。
我还曾经看到这样的介绍，画家在纸上随便倒一片墨，然后顺应墨迹对作品进构思，随兴作画，最后整个作品浑然一体，成为精美的艺术品。其实每个人就像被滴了一团墨的白纸，如果想要擦掉这一团墨，最后的结果就是，白纸被擦出一个无法弥补的大洞。
可见，无论是看似歪瓜裂枣的树根，还是奇形怪状的墨滴，在一个艺术家的眼里，都有其独特的价值。
人不也是这样的吗？每个人都有自己的特点，不管是什么样的人才，在善于驾驭的管理者那里，都可以人尽其才，为团队做出相应的贡献。这也是一种艺术。
在项目中，也会有各种不同性格、不同特点的人。与其把精力花在怎样改善员工的不足，不如用其所长。无需改变他，同样可以把他们用好。
管理专家余世维对于如何用人所长，曾举过一段非常精辟的例子：
如果他非常喜欢钱，就让他去做销售；他做事很仔细，可以让他干设计工作；看东西只看地上的人，适合守仓库；吃饭都用计算器的人应该做会计；婆婆妈妈 的人去搞客户服务；坐不住的人就让他去做外勤。这叫用人用长处。最糟糕的是把人都看成一样，不同的家庭、不同的学校培育出不同的人，每个地方有不同的文 化、亚文化。作为主管，应该关注这些问题。我手下有个管理人员，他把权看得很重要，对钱没什么大的要求，我就把公司的印章交给他，每天在办公室“嘣嘣嘣” 的盖章，而且把他的位置放在办公室的中间，让大家都看着他，让他有一种权力感，结果他非常高兴。
受余世维的启发，在项目中我们同样可以做到因材施用，例如：
- 喜欢提意见的人，可以让也负责质量管理。
- 能说会道的人，可以让他负责与客户沟通；
- 沉默寡言者，一般心思缜密，可以负责技术性较强的工作；
- 对于脾气倔强的人，应该安排确定性的、没有争议的工作交给他；
- 慢手慢脚的人，应该安排缓冲时间比较多的工作，不能安排关键路径上的工作；
- 思维敏捷的人，可以安排紧急的任务给他。
总之，项目经理应该顺应一个人的特点来安排工作，而不是强人所难，这样才能将团队的力量发挥到最大。
from http://developer.51cto.com/art/201211/364725.htm