Children of different ages have different psychological characteristics. As the children get older, parents must learn to let go properly. Today we will look at the requirements of a 13-year-old girl to her mother.
Article 1
I need help, but also independence, even if you can do everything for me, please leave it to me.
Interpretation: When the child is young, the mother helps with feeding; when the child wears shoes, the mother helps to tie the shoelaces; when the child goes to school, the mother helps to collect the schoolbag... Yes, we are parents, we have to help the child , but the child also needs to be independent. He needs to learn how to take care of himself and how to arrange his life and study. This is the basic condition for him to live independently in the future.
A mother with a score of 70 is a successful mother. Don't do everything for the child, and don't be the child's full-time nanny.
Article 2
Please allow me to make some mistakes, even if you warn me in advance.
Interpretation: When children make mistakes, they are actually learning and growing. Parents should not allow their children to make mistakes because they are afraid of trouble!
When a child makes a mistake, remember that no matter how angry or annoyed you are, you must try to restrain your emotions and don't put labels like "bad boy!" When we and the child are at peace, and then communicate with the child about his mistakes, you will have a deeper understanding of the child's mental process of making mistakes, and you can take the opportunity to guide the child to understand the world and lead the child to grow up.
Article 3
Please don't force me to live your life.
Interpretation: As parents, we are accustomed to imposing our will on our children, and we think that this is for the good of the child and the expression of love for him. Although the child will do what we say, he is often reluctant, which will create a gap in the parent-child relationship. As the child's self-esteem becomes stronger and stronger, the child will resist more strongly. Very rebellious and undisciplined.
Article 4
Please consciously protect my self-esteem and privacy.
Interpretation: Many parents never care about their children's self-esteem and privacy. They often scold their children in public, and may publicize their children's privacy as a joke, so that the children have no face. Such children often feel inferior and lose their self-motivation.
Article 5
If you want to be my friend, you have to let go of your parental airs.
Interpretation: Parents often put themselves in a position of superiority to their children, holding the air of "authority", always ready to find out their children's mistakes, and ask them to correct them. In such a state of mind, how can a child treat you as a friend, share happiness and sadness together, and tell you his little secrets?
Article 6
Please don't use me as your punching bag.
Interpretation: Parents are always under various pressures, in work and life, and there is no way to vent to others, because they will offend people. At this time, young children are often affected, and a small mistake is magnified by an angry parent, who is scolded or even beaten, and the child is so innocent!
Article 7
Please don't always hit me with "other people's children".
Interpretation: Setting an example for children is to inspire children to progress, and children will feel that they are being denied and criticized, and then become angry and inferior, and deliberately oppose their parents, which is counterproductive.
Article 8
More advice, less commands.
Interpretation: The tone of the command will make the child feel oppressed, and it will also make the child lose his opinion. Give more advice to the child, and the child will learn to think for himself, which is also conducive to the communication between parents and children.
Article 9
Please don't tell me for the 101st time how to do something.
Interpretation: "long-winded mothers" are always the most annoying to children. No matter what children do, they always like to tell children how to "should" do and "should not" do... But children are often very interested in this kind of "lecture". Disgusted, they will think that their mother does not understand them, and the mood will be even worse. Such mothers will make their children flee and rebel, which will seriously affect the mother-child relationship.
Article 10
I learn not only what you tell me, but what manifests in you, including your bad habits.
Interpretation: This shows the importance of "teaching by words and deeds". Children will not only learn what their parents say, but also learn the qualities shown by their parents. Therefore, in order to educate children, parents should improve themselves, get rid of bad habits, and give their children Be a good example.
Article 11
Please take my opinion seriously.
Interpretation: Children's words are often not valued by their parents. "What do children know, don't talk nonsense!" Children will be very depressed, their self-confidence will be hit, and over time, they will not be willing to speak their own opinions. But in fact, we should expect more from children to express their opinions, so that children will think and have ideas and will not blindly follow the opinions of others.
Article 12
Please don't let me bloom in summer because I'm a daisy; please don't expect to pick pine nuts from me because I'm a poplar.
Interpretation: Children will never grow up to be what you want, and we have no way to make children what we want. From birth, a child is an independent individual who has the right to have his own ideas and choices. There is no obligation to "bloom in summer" or "pick pine nuts". All we can do is to give him the best education and care in the past ten years, and then watch him go away from us and live his own life. How can we give our children the best education in these ten years?