My mother
- Mother's Day special gift
Wen / Zhang Yangyang
from the day you leave your home on, I know you will not come back, not as it was before, drowning in my side. In fact, as long as look at you, talk with you, I'll be satisfied. --Inscription
Today is Mother's Day, but this time I was still overseas to participate in the conference, life is always so busy. Numerous Mother's Day has passed, I have not written an article for the mother. Today, no matter how busy I am, I have to write this article. Because I was afraid some things about his mother, I'll forget. Today, childhood memories gradually blurred the image of the mother, I would like to seize the time to recall the past memories of those years and his mother spent.
Loyal love, unshaken
my mother, was a loyal love, to remain human. Since his father and married, has been diligent, worked hard for the family busy. Married for so many years, and his father has been courteous, profound feelings. Although sometimes quarreled with his father, but usually quarrel end of the bed and headboard. Every time I see when I am not active in love, every mother say beautiful love story between her and her father.
In fact, the first time, the mother and father married is not easy. My father's family is very poor, do nothing to boil. Although the mother's family is very poor, but slightly better than the father's house a little. When his father boldly propose marriage to his mother's house, all against everyone, no one agreed. However, the mother is determined to marry his father. Father was holding a bag of candy to propose marriage, the results of candy thrown out, picking up a group of children to eat.
To convince grandfather and grandmother, his mother suffered a lot of a beating, finally, grandfather and grandmother forced, reluctantly baby daughter was married to his father. When he asked why the mother willing to marry the father, the mother always said with a smile: "Because at that time he wrote me a lot of letters, sometimes in a letter tucked inside some money, which I believe is still hidden in it , can be written romantic. "every time I hear this mother tells her story, my father always beside a smile, I feel a deep sense of happiness mother's heart.
Every time when I was less active in terms of love, mother smiled and told me: "You have to learn your dad, take the initiative, it is to be had lied to your dad talking sweet talk over how important things. . "not so much sweet talk, as it is sincere. Whenever his father fell ill, the mother always cared intentions aside, and his father was very affectionate. It makes me feel deeply, children want to have a happy family, first of all need their parents happy, happy, loving each other, each other, enjoyable.
For Mother's Courage in love, for love, desperate, faithful to the spirit, I very much admire. Mother is not an ordinary woman who dared to own love, to endure against all, endure beatings, against all the odds, have the courage to boldly pursue their own happiness, which is very commendable.
Hard-working, kind-hearted
mother was a hard-working, good-hearted people. My father grew up very poor family, his mother married my father at that time, not the whole big family separation, is living a kind of collective life. At that time, the family is very poor, my mother pregnant with me, a great need for nutrients. Mother want to eat a little meat, nutritional supplements, just the family kept chickens. When the mother asked to eat a few pieces of chicken, it was at that time a large family, some relatives steward refused. Then, they are also young mothers cynicism, he said his mother spoiled like. Mother endured in silence, and then never proposed to add things to the point of nutrition. Father was the youngest in a family of brothers in the row, it is nothing of power. Even so many years later, we are now living is also fairly good, no worries about food and clothing, but I was able to feel deeply, the mother was to bear a lot of grievances and tears, I was able to feel deeply the mother suffered a lot of suffering.
For doing today, how many people can swallow, suffer in silence all kinds of grievances? It is also not immediately resist, leaving deserted them, and then the separation. But the mother never resisted, always suffer in silence, she was in for the sake of his father. If I had insisted on quarreling, so much noise in case of separation, the ability to father at the time, to feed their families is quite difficult. Mother was always so generous, cardinal, rather wronged themselves, I do not want to do a lot of things very bad.
A child, whenever disobedient brother, mother and brother told me that she gave birth to me, I am particularly good sleep at night, do not shake the mother, will obediently sleep. However, when giving birth to his brother, younger brother to sleep at night especially like to cry, and then the mother can only hold him up, and then sleep in their mothers' arms, you will fall asleep. So that the mother now came the aftermath, the arm is very acid, very often things are feeling a dull pain in the arm. Although it is among the mother inadvertently say a story, but engraved in my heart. Always think of a child, holding the middle of the night that his brother, his mother put him to sleep. During the day, the mother wanted to do a lot of living, very tired, but also at night crying cajole brother to sleep.
Things comprehensive, sensible
mother is a comprehensive work, reasonable person. I have seen many relatives do things considered is not comprehensive, always forgetful, but the mother thing every time always consider very detailed and thoughtful, indecisive, and she kept things done firmly Dangdang, one sentence is "doing very tricky." dialect called "a trace of eight." Relatives every time there is any major things need to be addressed, will immediately come to the mother. On the one hand, mothers can help them solve a lot of problems; on the other hand, even if the mother can not be resolved, the mother will give them a lot of suggestions and solutions.
Mother EQ high, she was always able to handle all kinds of relationships, good karma, and many people can deal with. Neighbors, friends and family, and her relations are very good. She took the initiative to never offend anyone, every time when friends and family come into conflict quarrel, she was always the first to go and tried to mediate. Once, during the Chinese New Year, a relative of the family discord, the New Year have a fight, clamoring to divorce. She ran non-stop for everyone to do ideological work, to persuade them to make up, for our children, not to divorce. Another time, my mother called me, so I quickly bought her ticket, because a loved one at home have trouble, call their loved ones to help his mother in the past tried to mediate.
I think this is simply incredible, advised the mother not to go, unfamiliar, did not flown, is not convenient to go. Father also advised not to go to his mother, but the mother is going to stick. Sure enough, after his mother went, he began to work for them to do all kinds of ideas, and finally, they reconciled. In fact, I do not know the mother a man over there, unfamiliar, not with maps, how she was contacted by telephone, how to find relatives by asking a passer, but also how the two sides stand by violent temper and stubborn temper, do all kinds of ideological work. I only know that when the mother give me a call, the phone's impatience; I only know, mother to everyone a happy, harmonious relations, made many many efforts; I only know that his mother often in life acts as a "peacemaker" in.
Good honest, thirst for knowledge
mother is a good honest, people desire knowledge. Mother of a child at home is also very poor, she has three sisters and three brothers, his mother is the smallest of the family. But that is because there was no tuition money to take home a bit of money, my grandfather asked my mother dropped out of school. Every time I see my mother and brother have read the book, she was feeling very, very envious, each time she tells us that she missed the book ah, then every time she said a childhood playmate, because the family has money, you can continue to read, so people are now an English teacher, and I have no culture. If not then not take tuition because of a few cents, I can studying.
Every time listening to the mother's feeling, I'm very jealous of their current school conditions, very jealous of their learning environment, I can not imagine not having the chance to read is how painful, I could not imagine was a skinny little girl, full of the eager eyes of knowledge, quietly standing in the doorway of the classroom, forced to tiptoe, silently watching the classroom reading scene. I can not imagine that the mother was forced to leave the classroom full of laughter every day, from morning till evening to leave their schools, perhaps later have no chance to come back.
Mother mouth to say that childhood playmates, I was at junior high school English teacher, math teacher and her class my junior high school is a couple. When the rest of the English class, she asked my family live, then I said, she went on my mother's name, she realized that her mother was reading early childhood playmates together, fate always too clever .
But is such a mother makes me envious playmate, a teacher of the people, even then addicted to gambling playing cards, and then lose a lot of money, a loan shark to borrow money from friends and family, to her colleagues borrowed a lot of money, which include my chemistry teacher. Finally, her husband ion casual, family divorce, now do not know where to go to escape, no one knows of.
Later, I learned that one of her mother's childhood was not a particularly good play playmate, every mother went to her house to wait for her to go to school, she always indifferent, very arrogant attitude, looking down mother. Gradually, also, and her estranged mother. So, if the mother say she envied that can playmate reading teacher, I will tell mother, my mother better than her more, more importantly, moral character, culture is secondary, is not worse than her mother.
This weak woman, just as the mother of the
mother, although the appearance is very weak, the body is also very thin, but her heart is very strong, very firm, this weak woman, motherhood is just. Although the mother did not have much culture, but I think she has a very high culture than those who are more quality, better able to solve many difficult problems.
This woman is weak, for the mother is just. Mother, although usually very good to me, but sometimes I have often hurt the mother's heart. Because my father very busy, therefore, from small to large, my brother and I go to school enrollment, PTA meetings and other things, almost all mothers to participate. Every time to see before and after the mother ran back and figure, every time I ask to see the mother and brother of studying and living things to the homeroom teacher.
High school, due to various pressures, my temper became irritable, suffering from "irritable syndrome." When the weekend to go home, as long as I am a little late, then sleep until noon, no matter who calls me up, I do not get up until sleep late. Mother wake me up many times, I do not together, the results mother every weekend are very angry, told me how not listen.
And so on up after me at noon, I felt very guilty, because I wasted so much prime time to learn. Then, very irritable temper, to see what is very angry, even to say "I knew I would not come back, the school has been staying review" stupid things. This allows the mother sad and angry, and helpless.
Usually, mothers like finishing things, once put my books and papers tidied. I review when found, and then very angry, loud geological asked his mother, is not yet moved my stuff? Where to put my stuff go? Then I and from books placed neatly inside, he found the use of information books.
Middle School when, after a mock exam, the teacher held a parents' meeting. That, that I was not very good, or that I would never test better. Parents, mother predictable, free Q & A session, the mother of learning to consult my teacher. I was standing outside the door, I feel very ashamed and embarrassed. Others Parents of the children managed to get so good, why I managed to get so bad, why can not I do a little more to blame? If I test well, and will be able to ease this awkward atmosphere up.
After the entrance, I managed to get bad, friends suggested that I can test military, the future would be better, perhaps even when an officer can do! Family line. Mother feel very good, then go after the busy before the busy consultation, or even to please a friend, can inquire about details of the process and the process to apply for road Military Academy. At that time, I am full of lofty sentiments and aspirations to go to military school physical examination, because the legs there is a very obvious scar, it can not pass. That scar on a child and neighborhood partners fun, accidentally burn scar left behind, a difficult to remove.
At the time, I heard the news does not pass, I once again took a hit after the end of a person intends to run away from home. Later, his mother is a place searched, to find me, took me home hard. That was my most rebellious period it was both mother angry, and sad after my Shenglayingzhuai home, she said not a word. My mother and I are of the Cold War for several days, do not say, do not say a word, I do not eat. My father has been to persuade the side, but I still indifferent. Maybe I've been to a lot of things have failed due to the mother, has been blamed for my mother to arrange all things right. Later, I do not know how, just and good, I do not remember the specific process.
Now think about it, feel it is too sensible, I can not imagine unreasonable. It was my mother's heart hurt, one of the deepest hurt, I put the mother in tears, but also furious mother's body. Now, I come to find that they really did a lot of wrong, harm the mother so many times, I feel that they really lack of filial piety, very sensible.
Thinking child eager, hope children back
after college, I started to become wiser, as if only yesterday busy school day, we must put a winter vacation today. Freshman year very hard, half past twelve asleep, is not practical, and up to learn half past three, the next sleep, is not practical, and it learned five points. Later, junior year, definitely to bed at night to sleep in a minute, it really makes a fulfilling life is. In retrospect, is that super-substantial, grown a lot, a lot stronger.
I often dreamed of returning home, the mother smiled and waved to me, I am happy to run back home in stone on the road. However, the poor of the time, I did not go home, but to all thoughts are in my heart. In fact, life is when you desperately need, they start their own fiercely, desperately when sure not on their own mercy.
January 22, 2016, American Mathematical modeling contest in full swing, while thinking about how I solve problems, while repeating programming, debugging the MATLAB program. 11:30 pm, SMS tips sound, and I saw a mother sent a text message. I opened SMS, saw his mother says:
"Yang cubs, how you do not go home New Year, hello years did not go home, we really want to see you, how good New Year with a family. Mom and Dad want you."
Suddenly, my eyes blurred. Looking to test the evidence, look at the book, to participate in the national finals, I hesitated.
12:00 PM, SMS tips sound, the father sent a text message. I opened an SMS on the phone bright background, showing a black words:
"Yang cubs, mom and dad are thinking of you. You have not been home for a long time. If you are not home for the holiday, your mom will be very sad, that you do not parents, not home. There is also a very important the reason, my grandfather is in advanced gastric cancer, maybe this time you get home is to see him one last time, I hope you can come back, do not regret. grandfather's illness, blow your mother is very large, in order not to affect your learning, so they did not tell you, you always think the New Year will be back ...... "
Read the message, I can not help it. I have not finished papers left, leaving the thick of literature, and hurried home. When I look back on message, I could not help but cry again. I always thought that a few phone calls a week is enough, I always thought he has a lot of time to go home, I always thought he still had many chances to see their loved ones.
But I was wrong.
August 2016 No. 21, I ended up National Finals in Shenzhen and Jiangsu, and when I got home, my father told me that my grandfather died because of terminal cancer, died that day is August 16 happens to be my in Shenzhen to attend when "Shenzhen Cup" mathematical modeling of the game. In order not to affect my grandfather participate in the competition, determined not to tell my father. Until a few days after my grandfather died, I realized that this thing ......
At the funeral of my grandfather, I held back the tears, the mother has become a crying tears, cried for several days and nights are, the feeling is Ganchangcunduan, is earth shattering. I cried side to comfort the mother, while holding the mother, mother wiping tears. That's when I discovered that the mother is really very thin, very light. At this point the mother, like a little kid, I was clinging to.
Early morning ride to the funeral home, looking at my grandfather's body was cremated, his mother and grandmother again uncontrollable burst into tears. I hugged his mother, his mother wiping the tears, the mother said she did not have a father, my heart can not stand it. It was a little girl longing for his father, it is a missing loved ones, Ganchangcunduan pain.
From that time, I secretly vowed in his heart, the future must let my parents live a life happily, never let my family suffer any point of injury. Love them, love is better than my own.
Eternal innocence and happiness
, now a mother, has come out from my grandfather died of thing in the past, and every day life is very happy. Mother now also use micro letter, and would often brush vibrato, record their beautiful and happy life, will from time to time urged me, taught me how to love, will find time to play with his father to travel, will be naughty jokes . Now a mother, like a sweet and innocent little girl, the mother can hope innocence forever, happy forever!
Some time ago, I came home a trip during the Chinese New Year. One day, my mother took me to attend her child playing good partner party, as well as KTV singing. Mother more happiness, more freedom, to live more like myself, I sincerely feel happy for the mother. KTV inside the mother sang her favorite song, "I do not want to say":
I do not want to say I am kind, I do not want to say I am pure
, but I can not feel the hearts refuse to see the lovely day, touch the real face
your feelings I can understand that many love I can refuse
a lot of dreams can be omitted but I can not forget your smile
to think long way to wipe the foot of the shoes, no matter what the season tomorrow,
the same day of the same face, the same as I was in front of you
the same way as the shoes, I can not live without you world
I do not want to say I am kind, I do not want to say I am pure
, but I can not forget your smile, think long way to wipe the foot of the shoes
no matter what the season tomorrow, the same day as the face
like I was in your in front, the same as the way the shoes
I can not do without your world, as of the same day face
like I was in front of you, like the same way the shoes
I can not do without your world, as of the same day face
the same I have in front of you, the same way as the shoes
I can not do without your world
......
mother after singing, I sang a song "big days":
mom under the moonlight, I think quietly you, quietly drip in blood in the care of
her mother in your arms, I love life, infancy, there are drying off your clothes smell
under her mother moon, with you I have a home, parting horizon although half a step that is
missing why tears, love a long longer than their later years, was born happy heart hurts
big days only your love is perfect
career days, remember that your heart messenger
big days only your love, I handed over she makes her laugh like most of the mother
......
She looked emaciated mother next to me began to sing and started to cry. As, as I write this article, choked several times, unable to control their emotions, read, read, I began to cry. Mother, I can not do without your world, you are the world's best mother. If there is next life, I want to do for your child, he has been guarded in your side. I wish the whole world the mother of good health and happiness!
Mother's Day arrived, I would like to tell you: "!! Mom, I love you always forever."
(May 12, 2019 Mother's Day at Tsinghua University Park)
