In middle age, most people will be very anxious, especially outside the system. But this anxiety, under careful consideration, is not material lack, but something else.
A few days ago, the circle of friends party was all people who were about 40 years old and still stayed in it circle.
People in the circle are people who have been in friendship for more than 10 years, so they are more open, including personal income and family financial situation.
There are 9 people in a circle, the highest salary is 1.5 million, and the lowest is 400,000. The assets of the family, including the house, are at least over 5 million.
Therefore, if only materially speaking, everyone in the party should not worry too much. We can bear the risk of unemployment and our lives will not collapse due to unemployment.
But the fact is that every one of us is very anxious, even those with higher status are more anxious.
My friend has an annual salary of 1.5 million and works as a technical director in a certain it company. This is the position he has finally obtained after struggling for 8 years in this company, pk has lost many competitors, and supported by the nobles.
My friend comes from a small town in a small county in the south. Now he is the pride of his parents and a successful person in the eyes of relatives. This identity makes friends proud, and is also where his self-esteem and anxiety lies.
My friend knows very well that he can sit in this position now, utilitarian said it is still useful, for the company, for the superior.
However, we all know that the IT industry is a place where brain power is exhausted. On the surface, we have little achievements, but in essence we are still individual contributors.
No matter if your title is a technical expert, architect, or technical director, others will look at you highly in the company. But once you leave the company, let alone the whole society, you will be regarded as an unknown person in a certain industry in a big city.
Outside, our experience advantage can't offset our physical and intellectual disadvantages in the year. Therefore, once we leave the company and lose our current position, we are actually nothing.
In other words, once we are eliminated by the current company, we will lose our core identity in this society, and this will inevitably bring people’s core anxiety-identity anxiety.
Yes, the anxiety of identity is the core anxiety of people.
This is why some people who fail in business commit suicide. The reason for suicide is not because he can't live materially, but because his social identity in which his self-esteem is located has collapsed.
What he lost was not business, but self-esteem.
"So far I think about Xiang Yu and refuse to cross Jiangdong." Why did King Chu refuse to cross the river, because he has no face to face Jiangdong elders!
Why do middle-aged men who are unemployed conceal their unemployment and go to work in a neat dress and bid farewell to their wives and children, but actually sit in the park for a day? Because he could not face his wife and children, relatives and parents' appreciation and expectations.
But yeah, the sad thing in life is that most of us can only acquire the most significant identity when we are in middle age. However, in the social tumbling, physical and intellectual decline, we no longer worry about losing this identity all the time. .
The structure of human social organization is a pyramid, which is destined for most people to fall behind and fall from the mountainside to the foot of the mountain when they reach middle age.
Accompanied by this, the first blow is not the lack of material, but the anxiety of identity, which is the root of the midlife crisis.
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