1
- 00:00:02,378 --> 00:00:03,211
[ FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING ] - 00:00:03,295 --> 00:00:04,587
Morty, you got to come on.
3
00:00:04,672 --> 00:00:06,130
You got to come with me.
4
00:00:06,215 --> 00:00:07,048
What's going on?
5
00:00:07,132 --> 00:00:08,049
I got a surprise for you, Morty.
6
00:00:08,133 --> 00:00:08,925
It's the middle of the night.
7
00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:10,718
I got a surprise for you.
8
00:00:10,803 --> 00:00:11,803
Ow!
9
00:00:11,804 --> 00:00:13,596
Ow! You're tugging
me too hard.
10
00:00:13,681 --> 00:00:14,961
I got a surprise for you, Morty.
11
00:00:17,643 --> 00:00:19,185
What do you [BURPS] what do you
12
00:00:19,269 --> 00:00:21,187
think of this
flying vehicle, Morty?
13
00:00:21,271 --> 00:00:22,855
I built it out of stuff
I found in the garage.
14
00:00:22,940 --> 00:00:24,315
Yeah, Rick, it's...
it's great.
15
00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:25,483
Is this the surprise?
16
00:00:25,567 --> 00:00:27,652
Morty, I had to...
I had to do...
17
00:00:27,736 --> 00:00:29,320
I had to...
I had to...
18
00:00:29,405 --> 00:00:30,321
I had to make a bomb, Morty.
19
00:00:30,406 --> 00:00:31,406
I had to create a bomb.
20
00:00:31,407 --> 00:00:32,407
What?! A bomb?!
21
00:00:32,408 --> 00:00:33,688
We're gonna drop
it down there...
22
00:00:33,742 --> 00:00:34,617
Just get a whole
fresh start, Morty.
23
00:00:34,702 --> 00:00:36,202
Create a whole fresh start.
24
00:00:36,286 --> 00:00:37,370
T-t-that's
absolutely crazy!
25
00:00:37,454 --> 00:00:38,496
Come on, Morty.
Just take it easy, Morty.
26
00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:40,039
It's gonna be good.
27
00:00:40,124 --> 00:00:42,041
Right now, we're gonna go pick
up your little friend Jessica.
28
00:00:42,126 --> 00:00:43,126
Jessica?
29
00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:44,335
From my math class?
30
00:00:44,420 --> 00:00:46,212
When I drop the bomb, I don't...
31
00:00:46,296 --> 00:00:47,839
You know, I want you to have
somebody,
32
00:00:47,923 --> 00:00:49,757
you know...
I want you to have the thing...
33
00:00:49,842 --> 00:00:51,092
I'm gonna make it like
a new Adam and Eve,
34
00:00:51,176 --> 00:00:52,176
and you're gonna be Adam.
35
00:00:52,261 --> 00:00:53,302
[ GROANS ]
36
00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:55,930
And Jessica's gonna be Eve, and
so that's the surprise, Morty.
37
00:00:56,014 --> 00:00:57,098
No, you can't!
38
00:00:57,182 --> 00:00:58,582
J-Jessica doesn't
even know I exist.
39
00:00:58,600 --> 00:00:59,767
But... but... but
forget about that,
40
00:00:59,852 --> 00:01:01,394
because you can't
blow up humanity.
41
00:01:01,478 --> 00:01:02,937
i-i get what you're trying
to say, m-morty.
42
00:01:03,021 --> 00:01:04,564
Listen, I'm not...
you don't...
43
00:01:04,648 --> 00:01:06,774
y-y-you don't got to worry about
me trying to fool around with...
44
00:01:06,859 --> 00:01:08,939
with Jessica or mess around
with Jessica or anything.
45
00:01:08,944 --> 00:01:10,278
I'm... I'm not that
kind of guy, Morty.
46
00:01:10,362 --> 00:01:11,654
What are you talking
about, Rick?
47
00:01:11,739 --> 00:01:13,239
You... you... you don't
have to worry about me getting
48
00:01:13,323 --> 00:01:14,532
with Jessica or anything.
49
00:01:14,616 --> 00:01:17,034
She... she... she... she...
she's all for you, Morty.
50
00:01:17,119 --> 00:01:19,203
I don't care about Jessica!
51
00:01:19,288 --> 00:01:20,413
You know what, Morty?
You're right.
52
00:01:20,497 --> 00:01:22,081
Let's forget the
girl all together.
53
00:01:22,166 --> 00:01:23,666
She... she's probably nothing
but trouble, anyways.
54
00:01:23,751 --> 00:01:25,168
SHIP:
Arming Neutrino bomb.
55
00:01:25,252 --> 00:01:26,085
That's it...
That's it, Rick.
56
00:01:26,170 --> 00:01:26,961
I'm taking the wheel.
57
00:01:27,045 --> 00:01:28,212
Get off of me, Morty!
58
00:01:28,297 --> 00:01:29,672
I'm taking charge of
this situation, buddy.
59
00:01:29,757 --> 00:01:30,965
What's gotten into you?
60
00:01:31,049 --> 00:01:32,383
I'm... I'm... I'm...
61
00:01:32,468 --> 00:01:34,761
I'm not gonna stand around
like some sort of dumb...
62
00:01:34,845 --> 00:01:36,095
What are you, crazy?
63
00:01:36,180 --> 00:01:37,555
Person and just let
you blow up the whole world.
64
00:01:37,639 --> 00:01:38,473
All right, all right.
65
00:01:38,557 --> 00:01:39,891
I'll... I'll land.
66
00:01:39,975 --> 00:01:40,808
I'll land. I'll land.
67
00:01:40,893 --> 00:01:42,685
I'll land the thing.
68
00:01:42,770 --> 00:01:44,187
Big tough guy all of a sudden.
69
00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:49,108
We'll park it right here, Morty.
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Right here on the s-side
of the r-road here.
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00:01:50,527 --> 00:01:51,402
Oh, thank God.
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00:01:51,487 --> 00:01:52,361
You know what?
73
00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:54,155
That was all a test, Morty.
74
00:01:54,239 --> 00:01:57,200
Just an elaborate test
to make you more assertive.
75
00:01:57,284 --> 00:01:58,159
It was?
76
00:01:58,243 --> 00:01:59,243
Sure. Why not?
77
00:01:59,286 --> 00:02:00,286
I don't... I don't know.
78
00:02:00,370 --> 00:02:01,245
You... you know what, Mo...
79
00:02:01,330 --> 00:02:02,413
[ SNORING ]
80
00:02:02,498 --> 00:02:03,790
SHIP:
Neutrino bomb armed.
81
00:02:03,874 --> 00:02:04,874
[ BEEPING ]
82
00:02:04,917 --> 00:02:06,042
Um...
83
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:07,877
[ BEEPING INCREASES ]
84
00:02:40,828 --> 00:02:44,121
I see there's a new episode of
that singing show tonight.
85
00:02:44,206 --> 00:02:46,999
Who do you guys think is
gonna be the best singer?
86
00:02:47,084 --> 00:02:48,209
Oh, my God.
His head is in his food.
87
00:02:48,293 --> 00:02:49,293
I'm going to puke.
88
00:02:49,294 --> 00:02:50,711
Morty, are you getting sick?
89
00:02:50,796 --> 00:02:52,956
I told you not to practice-kiss
the living-room pillow.
90
00:02:52,965 --> 00:02:54,090
The dog sleeps on it.
91
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:55,842
I wasn't kissing a pillow, Mom.
92
00:02:55,926 --> 00:02:58,344
I just... I didn't get a
lot of sleep last night.
93
00:02:58,428 --> 00:03:00,471
Maybe my dreams were just
too loud or something.
94
00:03:00,556 --> 00:03:02,756
Or maybe you were out all night
again with grandpa Rick.
95
00:03:02,766 --> 00:03:03,599
What?!
96
00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:04,475
Dad?
97
00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:06,352
What, so everyone's supposed to
sleep every single night now?
98
00:03:06,436 --> 00:03:08,604
You realize that nighttime
makes up half of all time?
99
00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:09,522
Damn it!
100
00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:10,773
- Jerry!
- Beth!
101
00:03:10,858 --> 00:03:11,899
Oh, my God.
My parents are so loud.
102
00:03:11,984 --> 00:03:12,984
I want to die.
103
00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:14,360
Mm, there is no God, Summer.
104
00:03:14,444 --> 00:03:16,237
You got to rip that band-aid off
now. You'll thank me later.
105
00:03:16,321 --> 00:03:18,072
Okay, with all due respect,
Rick...
106
00:03:18,156 --> 00:03:19,991
What am I talking about?
What respect is due?
107
00:03:20,075 --> 00:03:23,661
How is my son supposed to pass
his classes if you keep dragging
108
00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:26,372
him off for high-concept
sci-fi rigamarole?
109
00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:28,749
Listen, Jerry, I-l don't want to
overstep my bounds or anything.
110
00:03:28,834 --> 00:03:30,376
It's your house.
It's your world.
111
00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:31,580
You're a real Julius Caesar.
112
00:03:31,587 --> 00:03:32,670
But I'll tell you some...
tell you how...
113
00:03:32,754 --> 00:03:33,994
how I feel about school, Jerry.
114
00:03:34,006 --> 00:03:35,256
It's a waste of time...
115
00:03:35,340 --> 00:03:36,674
A bunch of people
running around,
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00:03:36,758 --> 00:03:37,800
bumping into each other.
117
00:03:37,885 --> 00:03:39,552
G-guy up front says,
"Two plus two."
118
00:03:39,636 --> 00:03:41,387
The people in the
back say, "Four."
119
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Then the bell rings, and they
give you a carton of milk
120
00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:46,767
and a piece of paper that says you can
go take a dump or something.
121
00:03:46,852 --> 00:03:49,270
I mean, it's... it's not a
place for smart people, Jerry.
122
00:03:49,354 --> 00:03:50,479
And I know that's not
a popular opinion,
123
00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:53,691
but it's my two cents
on the issue.
124
00:03:53,775 --> 00:03:55,401
This was a good breakfast, Beth.
125
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You really made the
crap out of those eggs.
126
00:03:57,613 --> 00:03:59,822
I wish your mother
was here to eat them.
127
00:03:59,907 --> 00:04:01,198
Oh, Dad.
128
00:04:01,283 --> 00:04:02,074
What?
129
00:04:02,159 --> 00:04:04,035
For real?
130
00:04:04,119 --> 00:04:05,786
TEACHER:
All right, now, everybody get settled.
131
00:04:05,871 --> 00:04:07,538
Get away from the windows!
132
00:04:07,623 --> 00:04:08,789
Now, look, we're gonna be
133
00:04:08,874 --> 00:04:10,750
dealing with some real
serious stuff today.
134
00:04:10,834 --> 00:04:12,710
You might have heard of it.
It's called math.
135
00:04:12,794 --> 00:04:14,837
And without it,
none of us would even exist,
136
00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:17,048
so let's jump right in...
two plus two.
137
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Jessica.
138
00:04:18,216 --> 00:04:19,592
Five plus five.
139
00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:20,885
Tenssica.
140
00:04:20,969 --> 00:04:21,969
Okay, good.
141
00:04:21,970 --> 00:04:23,054
It's time for the quiz.
142
00:04:23,138 --> 00:04:24,138
[ ALL GROAN ]
143
00:04:24,222 --> 00:04:25,431
Yeah, you know what?!
Aw, too bad!
144
00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:26,557
Tough!
145
00:04:26,642 --> 00:04:28,809
First row, take one.
Pass it back for me.
146
00:04:28,894 --> 00:04:30,686
The stakes are high
in this room.
147
00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:34,023
There's crucial things
happening here every day.
148
00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:34,982
People getting smarter.
149
00:04:35,067 --> 00:04:36,108
Some of y'all getting dumber.
150
00:04:36,193 --> 00:04:38,444
Some of y'all ain't
gonna see 3:00.
151
00:04:40,238 --> 00:04:41,948
JESSICA:
Hi, Morty.
152
00:04:42,032 --> 00:04:43,032
Whoa!
153
00:04:43,075 --> 00:04:44,158
Hi, Jessica.
154
00:04:44,242 --> 00:04:45,576
Can I show these to you?
155
00:04:45,661 --> 00:04:46,535
Wow.
156
00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:47,703
Th-they're both great.
157
00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:48,788
Thank you.
158
00:04:48,789 --> 00:04:49,747
You know what I named these?
159
00:04:49,831 --> 00:04:51,040
My little Morties.
160
00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:53,918
Uh, that's flattering...
and a little weird.
161
00:04:54,002 --> 00:04:55,962
Do you know what I want
you to do with them?
162
00:04:56,046 --> 00:04:57,046
Rename them?
163
00:04:57,089 --> 00:04:58,464
Squeeze them.
164
00:04:58,548 --> 00:04:59,632
Manhandle them.
165
00:04:59,716 --> 00:05:00,758
Give them the business.
166
00:05:00,842 --> 00:05:02,218
See if you can shuffle them.
167
00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:04,512
I mean, really get in there
and knock them around.
168
00:05:04,596 --> 00:05:05,763
No wrong answers.
169
00:05:05,847 --> 00:05:06,639
Wow.
170
00:05:06,723 --> 00:05:08,015
Well, okay, Jessica.
171
00:05:08,100 --> 00:05:09,475
L-let's give this a shot.
172
00:05:09,559 --> 00:05:10,726
Mm.
173
00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:11,811
Oh, Morty.
174
00:05:11,895 --> 00:05:13,354
What are you doing to me?
175
00:05:13,438 --> 00:05:15,606
Uh, I-I'm just
doing my best.
176
00:05:15,691 --> 00:05:16,691
Morty!
177
00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:17,566
What are you doing to me?!
178
00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:18,484
Jessica.
179
00:05:18,568 --> 00:05:19,610
Morty!
180
00:05:19,695 --> 00:05:21,696
[ MUMBLING ] Jessica.
181
00:05:21,780 --> 00:05:23,739
Five more minutes of this,
and I'm gonna get mad.
182
00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:25,700
Je-Jessica.
183
00:05:25,784 --> 00:05:26,993
[ MUMBLING ] Jessica.
184
00:05:27,077 --> 00:05:28,317
Not my fault this is happening.
185
00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:30,579
[ SCHOOL BELL RINGS ]
186
00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:32,373
Well, well, well.
187
00:05:32,457 --> 00:05:33,457
Uh, morning, Frank.
188
00:05:33,458 --> 00:05:34,500
"Morning"?
189
00:05:34,584 --> 00:05:35,501
What was... what is
that supposed to mean?
190
00:05:35,585 --> 00:05:36,711
You making fun of me?
191
00:05:36,795 --> 00:05:37,920
Are you trying to
say my family's poor?
192
00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:39,046
Oh, geez, Frank.
193
00:05:39,131 --> 00:05:40,464
I don't know if a
knife is necessary.
194
00:05:40,549 --> 00:05:42,883
I mean, you know, y-you kind of
had things handled without it.
195
00:05:42,968 --> 00:05:45,219
You telling me how to bully now?
196
00:05:45,303 --> 00:05:46,679
Big mistake, Morty.
197
00:05:46,763 --> 00:05:51,017
And now I'm gonna cut you,
'cause my family's rich.
198
00:05:51,101 --> 00:05:52,560
[ GASPS ]
199
00:05:52,644 --> 00:05:53,978
There you are, Morty.
200
00:05:54,062 --> 00:05:55,229
Listen to me.
201
00:05:55,313 --> 00:05:56,939
I got an errand to run in a
whole different dimension.
202
00:05:57,024 --> 00:05:58,524
I need an extra pair of hands.
203
00:05:58,608 --> 00:05:59,734
Oh, geez, Rick.
204
00:05:59,818 --> 00:06:01,152
W-what'd you do to Frank?
205
00:06:01,236 --> 00:06:02,611
It's pretty obvious, Morty.
I froze him.
206
00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:04,530
Now listen...
I need your help, Morty.
207
00:06:04,614 --> 00:06:06,157
I mean, we got...
we got to get...
208
00:06:06,241 --> 00:06:08,200
get the hell out of here
and go take care of business.
209
00:06:08,285 --> 00:06:09,785
[ BURPS ]
210
00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:11,328
It's important. Come on, Morty.
211
00:06:11,413 --> 00:06:12,413
I don't know, Rick.
212
00:06:12,456 --> 00:06:13,664
I-I can't leave school again.
213
00:06:13,749 --> 00:06:15,124
Do you have any concept of how
much higher the stakes
214
00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:16,417
get out there, Morty?
215
00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:17,918
What do you think...
I can just do it all by myself?
216
00:06:18,003 --> 00:06:18,878
Come on!
217
00:06:18,962 --> 00:06:20,004
Aw, geez. Okay.
218
00:06:20,088 --> 00:06:21,380
I guess I can skip History.
219
00:06:21,465 --> 00:06:22,923
What about Frank?
220
00:06:23,008 --> 00:06:24,091
I mean, shouldn't
you unfreeze him?
221
00:06:24,176 --> 00:06:25,384
I'll do it later, Morty.
222
00:06:25,469 --> 00:06:26,469
He'll be fine.
223
00:06:26,511 --> 00:06:29,305
Let's go.
224
00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:31,307
[ THINGKING] Oh, my God.
225
00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:33,851
I'm about to walk
past Frank Palicky.
226
00:06:33,935 --> 00:06:37,021
This is the story we'll
be telling our children.
227
00:06:37,105 --> 00:06:38,314
Hi, Frank.
228
00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:40,107
[ CRACKS, SHATTERS ]
229
00:06:40,192 --> 00:06:42,610
Aah!
230
00:06:42,694 --> 00:06:44,111
[ HORSE WHINNYING ]
231
00:06:44,196 --> 00:06:47,198
Scalpel.
232
00:06:47,282 --> 00:06:48,407
[ DOOR OPENS ] Knock, knock.
233
00:06:48,492 --> 00:06:49,575
Jerry?
234
00:06:49,659 --> 00:06:51,699
My manager gave me an hour
for lunch, and I thought,
235
00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:54,038
"Hey, why not swing by
where your wife works?"
236
00:06:54,122 --> 00:06:55,748
[ FLATLINE ] We're losing him.
237
00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:57,124
[ BEEPS ] Okay, he's back.
238
00:06:57,209 --> 00:06:59,585
Jerry, please tell me you're
here for an incredibly urgent reason.
239
00:06:59,669 --> 00:07:01,128
Well, it's lunch.
240
00:07:01,213 --> 00:07:04,006
I mean, it's one of three meals
that have existed for millennia.
241
00:07:04,091 --> 00:07:05,132
[ FLATLINE ] Losing him.
242
00:07:05,217 --> 00:07:06,383
[ BEEPS ] Stabilized.
243
00:07:06,468 --> 00:07:08,928
Okay, I only ask, Jerry,
because, as you know,
244
00:07:09,012 --> 00:07:11,472
my job involves
performing heart surgery.
245
00:07:11,556 --> 00:07:12,890
Well, yeah, on horses.
246
00:07:12,974 --> 00:07:14,016
Excuse me?
247
00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:15,810
Okay. Let's not
rehash that fight.
248
00:07:15,894 --> 00:07:18,646
I sense that you're busy
and will now be on my way.
249
00:07:18,730 --> 00:07:19,814
Whoa!
250
00:07:19,898 --> 00:07:21,398
What is this on the floor?
251
00:07:21,483 --> 00:07:24,944
Some kind of literature for
a really nice-looking nursing home.
252
00:07:25,028 --> 00:07:26,695
Hey, honey, crazy idea...
bad pitch...
253
00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,155
let's put your Dad here.
254
00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:29,680
Let's put your Dad
in a nursing home.
255
00:07:29,699 --> 00:07:30,699
[ FLATLINE ]
256
00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:31,700
We're losing him.
257
00:07:31,701 --> 00:07:32,701
Hey, Tom.
258
00:07:32,702 --> 00:07:33,661
We know when we're losing him.
259
00:07:33,745 --> 00:07:35,037
We can hear the beeps!
260
00:07:36,331 --> 00:07:37,331
There she is. All right.
261
00:07:37,332 --> 00:07:38,541
Come on, Morty.
Let's go.
262
00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:39,500
Oh, geez.
263
00:07:39,584 --> 00:07:40,835
Okay.
264
00:07:42,170 --> 00:07:43,629
Oh, man, Rick.
265
00:07:43,713 --> 00:07:45,005
What is this place?
266
00:07:45,090 --> 00:07:47,716
It's dimension 35C,
and it's got the perfect
267
00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:50,761
climate conditions for a
special type of tree, Morty,
268
00:07:50,846 --> 00:07:52,138
called a Mega tree,
269
00:07:52,222 --> 00:07:53,514
and there's fruit
in those trees,
270
00:07:53,598 --> 00:07:55,057
and there's seeds
in those fruits.
271
00:07:55,142 --> 00:07:56,517
I'm talking about Mega seeds.
272
00:07:56,601 --> 00:07:58,811
They're... [BURPING] they're
incredibly powerful,
273
00:07:58,895 --> 00:08:00,980
and I need them to help me
with my research, Morty.
274
00:08:01,064 --> 00:08:02,982
Oh, man, Rick. I'm looking
around this place,
275
00:08:03,066 --> 00:08:04,817
and I'm starting to work up some
anxiety about this whole thing.
276
00:08:04,901 --> 00:08:05,901
All right. All right.
Calm down.
277
00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:07,111
Listen to me, Morty.
278
00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:09,405
I know that new situations
can be intimidating.
279
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:11,782
You're looking around, and it's
all scary and different, but,
280
00:08:11,867 --> 00:08:14,660
you know, m-meeting them head
on, charging right into them
281
00:08:14,744 --> 00:08:16,912
like a bull...
that's how we grow as people.
282
00:08:16,997 --> 00:08:18,747
I'm no stranger
to scary situations.
283
00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:20,207
I deal with them all the time.
284
00:08:20,292 --> 00:08:22,492
Now, if you just stick with me,
Morty, we're gonna be...
285
00:08:22,544 --> 00:08:23,961
Holy crap, Morty, run!
286
00:08:24,045 --> 00:08:25,087
[ SCREAMING ]
287
00:08:25,172 --> 00:08:27,089
I never seen that thing
before in my life.
288
00:08:27,174 --> 00:08:28,654
I don't even know
what the hell it is!
289
00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:29,955
We got to get out
of here, Morty!
290
00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:30,885
It's gonna kill us!
291
00:08:30,969 --> 00:08:31,969
We're gonna die!
292
00:08:32,053 --> 00:08:33,220
We're gonna die, Morty!
293
00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:37,141
Oh, Morty, take a deep breath.
294
00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:39,226
Breathe that... breathe that
fresh air in, Morty.
295
00:08:39,311 --> 00:08:40,519
Y-you smell that?
296
00:08:40,604 --> 00:08:42,146
That's the smell
of adventure, Morty.
297
00:08:42,230 --> 00:08:44,565
That's... that's the smell of...
of... of... of a whole different
298
00:08:44,649 --> 00:08:46,650
evolutionary timeline.
299
00:08:46,735 --> 00:08:47,818
All right, Rick, look...
300
00:08:47,903 --> 00:08:49,236
how much longer
is this gonna be?
301
00:08:49,321 --> 00:08:50,529
Shouldn't I be
back at school by now?
302
00:08:50,614 --> 00:08:51,739
Are you joking me?
303
00:08:51,823 --> 00:08:54,241
I mean, look at all the
crazy crap surrounding us.
304
00:08:54,326 --> 00:08:55,451
Look at that thing right there.
305
00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:56,911
W-what the hell is that thing?
306
00:08:56,995 --> 00:08:58,579
You think you're gonna see
that kind of thing at school?
307
00:08:58,663 --> 00:09:00,247
Look at it just lumbering around.
308
00:09:00,332 --> 00:09:02,917
It defies all logic...
that thing.
309
00:09:03,001 --> 00:09:04,001
Yeah, Rick, I get it.
310
00:09:04,085 --> 00:09:05,502
We're surrounded by monsters.
311
00:09:05,587 --> 00:09:07,387
That's kind of the reason
why I want to leave.
312
00:09:07,464 --> 00:09:08,297
Ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta.
313
00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:11,508
Morty, you see this?
314
00:09:11,593 --> 00:09:13,552
You see what we just
stumbled upon, Morty?
315
00:09:13,637 --> 00:09:14,762
Any idea what that
is down there?
316
00:09:14,846 --> 00:09:15,930
The Mega trees?
317
00:09:16,014 --> 00:09:17,306
That's right, Morty...
the Mega trees
318
00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:18,724
with the Mega fruit on them.
319
00:09:18,808 --> 00:09:20,184
And that's what I'm
talking about, Morty.
320
00:09:20,268 --> 00:09:21,644
That's where my seeds are.
321
00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:22,770
If we would have done
what you wanted,
322
00:09:22,854 --> 00:09:24,104
I would have never
have found them,
323
00:09:24,189 --> 00:09:25,856
because y... because you're
so in love with school.
324
00:09:25,941 --> 00:09:27,191
All right, all right.
325
00:09:27,275 --> 00:09:29,109
So, what's so special about
these seeds, anyways?
326
00:09:29,194 --> 00:09:30,861
You ask a lot of
questions, Morty.
327
00:09:30,946 --> 00:09:32,196
Not very charismatic.
328
00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:33,656
It makes you kind of
an [BURPS] under...
329
00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:35,157
[BURPS] underfoot figure.
330
00:09:35,242 --> 00:09:36,408
Just take these shoes, Morty.
331
00:09:36,493 --> 00:09:38,293
They're Sp... [BURPS]
special grappling shoes.
332
00:09:38,328 --> 00:09:40,579
When you're wearing these
things... Ba... these babies,
333
00:09:40,664 --> 00:09:43,290
you can basically just walk on
any surface you want, Morty...
334
00:09:43,375 --> 00:09:45,292
up, down, below,
turn around to the left.
335
00:09:45,377 --> 00:09:47,211
These things really bring
it all together.
336
00:09:47,295 --> 00:09:48,921
Aah!
337
00:09:49,005 --> 00:09:50,245
You have to turn them on, Morty!
338
00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:51,131
[ THUDS ]
339
00:09:51,216 --> 00:09:52,466
The shoes have to be turned on!
340
00:09:52,550 --> 00:09:55,302
BETH:
I am not putting my father in a home!
341
00:09:55,387 --> 00:09:57,263
He just came back into my life,
342
00:09:57,347 --> 00:10:00,766
and you want to grab him and
stuff him under a mattress like
343
00:10:00,850 --> 00:10:02,309
last month's Victoria's Secret?
344
00:10:02,394 --> 00:10:04,874
I told you... I was ordering you
something for Valentine's Day.
345
00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:09,608
More importantly, your father is
a horrible influence on our son.
346
00:10:09,693 --> 00:10:10,943
Everything cool in here, Beth?
347
00:10:11,027 --> 00:10:11,860
It's fine, Davin.
348
00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:12,987
Okay, cool.
349
00:10:13,071 --> 00:10:14,488
You know, we did
something great today.
350
00:10:14,572 --> 00:10:18,075
There's nothing more noble and
free than the heart of a horse.
351
00:10:18,159 --> 00:10:20,577
Since we're fighting,
if you ever have an affair
352
00:10:20,662 --> 00:10:22,162
with that guy, I will
come to the hotel room
353
00:10:22,247 --> 00:10:24,707
and blow my brains out
all over your naked bodies.
354
00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:27,751
Look, I appreciate the
stress you're under, but
355
00:10:27,836 --> 00:10:30,129
Morty was having trouble in
school way before my dad moved
356
00:10:30,213 --> 00:10:33,507
in, and the only influence I
can see Rick having is that,
357
00:10:33,591 --> 00:10:36,719
for the first time in his life,
Morty has a friend.
358
00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:37,928
[ TELEPHONE RINGING ]
359
00:10:38,013 --> 00:10:39,221
[ SIGHS ]
360
00:10:39,306 --> 00:10:40,764
Well, maybe you're right.
361
00:10:40,849 --> 00:10:42,850
Uh, yeah, maybe I am.
362
00:10:42,934 --> 00:10:43,934
I'm my father's daughter.
363
00:10:43,935 --> 00:10:44,935
I'm smart.
364
00:10:45,020 --> 00:10:45,894
Why do you think
I'm a heart surgeon?
365
00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:46,812
Horse heart surgeon.
366
00:10:46,896 --> 00:10:48,230
- Hello?
- Mrs. Smith?
367
00:10:48,315 --> 00:10:49,875
This is Principal Vagina...
no relation.
368
00:10:49,941 --> 00:10:51,692
I wonder if you and Morty's
father might be able to have
369
00:10:51,776 --> 00:10:52,936
a chat with me this afternoon?
370
00:10:52,944 --> 00:10:55,612
[ SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS ]
371
00:10:55,697 --> 00:10:58,115
Morty, oh, you really d-did a
number on your legs right now.
372
00:10:58,199 --> 00:10:59,366
[ GROANING ]
373
00:10:59,451 --> 00:11:00,659
You know, you got to
turn the shoes on, Morty,
374
00:11:00,744 --> 00:11:01,910
for them to work.
375
00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:03,195
Yeah, look...
I turned mine on.
376
00:11:03,204 --> 00:11:04,455
I had no problem
getting down here.
377
00:11:04,539 --> 00:11:06,040
It was a leisurely breeze.
378
00:11:06,124 --> 00:11:07,374
I'm in a lot of pain, Rick.
379
00:11:07,459 --> 00:11:08,876
Yeah, I can see that.
380
00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:11,795
But do you think you'll still be
able to help me [BURPS] collect
381
00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:13,088
my seeds, Morty?
382
00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:14,173
Are you kidding me?!
383
00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:15,174
That's it, Rick!
384
00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:16,425
That's the last straw!
385
00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:18,469
I can't believe this...
I'm sitting here with both
386
00:11:18,470 --> 00:11:20,137
of my legs broken,
and you're still asking me
387
00:11:20,221 --> 00:11:21,764
about getting those seeds?!
388
00:11:21,848 --> 00:11:23,307
Ooh! Ow! Oh!
389
00:11:23,391 --> 00:11:24,683
Y-y-you're a monster.
390
00:11:24,768 --> 00:11:26,435
Y-you're like Hitler, but...
391
00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:28,562
but even Hitler cared about
Germany or something.
392
00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:30,272
Okay, hold on just a second,
Morty.
393
00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:33,692
[ GROANING ]
394
00:11:33,777 --> 00:11:37,654
[ PANTING ]
395
00:11:37,739 --> 00:11:41,742
Ooh.
396
00:11:41,826 --> 00:11:45,371
Ohh.
397
00:11:49,793 --> 00:11:51,460
Ooh.
398
00:11:52,504 --> 00:11:53,712
Wow, Rick.
399
00:11:53,797 --> 00:11:56,256
That stuff just healed
my broken legs instantly.
400
00:11:56,341 --> 00:11:59,551
I mean, I've never felt
so good in my life.
401
00:11:59,636 --> 00:12:00,636
Thank you.
402
00:12:00,637 --> 00:12:01,887
Don't worry about it, Morty.
403
00:12:01,971 --> 00:12:03,847
Just come help me get these
seeds, all right, buddy?
404
00:12:03,932 --> 00:12:05,099
Sure thing, Rick.
405
00:12:05,183 --> 00:12:06,683
Not that you asked, Morty,
but what just happened
406
00:12:06,768 --> 00:12:09,645
there is I went into a future
dimension with such advanced
407
00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:11,939
medicine that they had
broken-leg serum at every
408
00:12:12,023 --> 00:12:13,315
corner drugstore.
409
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:14,566
The stuff was all over
the place, Morty.
410
00:12:14,651 --> 00:12:16,151
Wow, that's pretty crazy, Rick.
411
00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:17,569
There's just one problem,
Morty...
412
00:12:17,654 --> 00:12:18,779
one little hang-up.
413
00:12:18,863 --> 00:12:20,447
The dimension I visited was so
advanced,
414
00:12:20,532 --> 00:12:22,658
they had also halted
the aging process,
415
00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:24,159
and everyone there was young,
Morty,
416
00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:25,369
and they had been forever.
417
00:12:25,453 --> 00:12:27,037
I was the only old
person there, Morty.
418
00:12:27,122 --> 00:12:29,248
It was [BURPS] like I was some
sort of, you know, celebrity,
419
00:12:29,332 --> 00:12:30,499
walking around.
420
00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:31,959
I-I was fascinating to them.
421
00:12:32,043 --> 00:12:34,294
There were a lot of attractive
women there, Morty, and they...
422
00:12:34,379 --> 00:12:35,963
they... they...
they all wanted time with me.
423
00:12:36,047 --> 00:12:37,847
I had a lot of fun with
a lot of young ladies,
424
00:12:37,882 --> 00:12:39,466
but I spent so much time there,
425
00:12:39,551 --> 00:12:40,951
my interdimensional
portal device...
426
00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:42,636
it's got no charge left, Morty.
427
00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:43,720
It's got no charge left.
428
00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:44,596
What?!
429
00:12:44,681 --> 00:12:45,764
It's as good as garbage, Morty.
430
00:12:45,849 --> 00:12:46,807
It's not gonna
work anymore, Morty.
431
00:12:46,891 --> 00:12:47,975
Oh, geez, Rick, that's not good.
432
00:12:48,059 --> 00:12:49,685
W-what are we gonna do?
433
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:51,854
I-I have to be back
at school right now.
434
00:12:51,938 --> 00:12:53,178
How are we gonna get back home?
435
00:12:53,231 --> 00:12:54,773
There's ways to
get back home, Morty.
436
00:12:54,858 --> 00:12:56,733
It's just... it's just gonna
be a little bit of a hassle.
437
00:12:56,818 --> 00:12:58,569
We're gonna have to go through
Interdimensional Customs,
438
00:12:58,653 --> 00:13:01,071
so you're gonna have
to do me a real solid.
439
00:13:01,156 --> 00:13:02,156
Uh-oh.
440
00:13:02,157 --> 00:13:03,407
When we get to Customs,
441
00:13:03,491 --> 00:13:05,492
I'm gonna need you to take
these seeds into the bathroom,
442
00:13:05,577 --> 00:13:07,035
and I'm gonna need you
to put them way up
443
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:08,036
inside your butthole, Morty.
444
00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:09,329
In my butt?
445
00:13:09,414 --> 00:13:11,039
Put them way up inside there,
as far as they can fit.
446
00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:12,249
Oh, geez, Rick.
447
00:13:12,333 --> 00:13:13,542
I really don't want
to have to do that.
448
00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:15,085
Well, somebody's got
to do it, Morty.
449
00:13:15,170 --> 00:13:18,088
Th-these seeds aren't gonna get
through Customs unless they're
450
00:13:18,173 --> 00:13:19,131
in someone's rectum, Morty.
451
00:13:19,215 --> 00:13:20,215
[ WHIMPERS ]
452
00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:21,383
And they'll fall
right out of mine.
453
00:13:21,468 --> 00:13:23,051
I've done this
too many times, Morty.
454
00:13:23,136 --> 00:13:24,261
I mean, you're young.
455
00:13:24,345 --> 00:13:26,180
You've got your whole
life ahead of you,
456
00:13:26,264 --> 00:13:28,432
and your anal cavity is
still taut, yet malleable.
457
00:13:28,516 --> 00:13:29,916
You got to do it
for Grandpa, Morty.
458
00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:31,685
Y-you've got to put these
seeds inside your butt.
459
00:13:31,769 --> 00:13:32,561
In my butt?
460
00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:33,479
Come on, Morty.
461
00:13:33,563 --> 00:13:34,396
Please, Morty.
462
00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:35,522
You have to do it, Morty.
463
00:13:35,607 --> 00:13:36,607
Oh, man.
464
00:13:36,608 --> 00:13:37,900
[ SCHOOL BELL RINGS ]
465
00:13:37,984 --> 00:13:40,319
PRINCIPAL: The fact is, your son, Morty,
has attended this school for a
466
00:13:40,403 --> 00:13:42,779
total of seven hours over
the last two months.
467
00:13:42,864 --> 00:13:44,406
What? Why didn't
you notify us?
468
00:13:44,491 --> 00:13:46,283
I done been notifying you.
469
00:13:46,367 --> 00:13:47,659
Have you not been
getting the messages
470
00:13:47,744 --> 00:13:49,077
I've been leaving with Morty's
grandfather?
471
00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:50,245
Boom!
472
00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:51,872
Told you! Ln your face!
473
00:13:51,956 --> 00:13:53,749
He is ruining our child!
474
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:55,250
Wait, what am I celebrating?
475
00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:56,960
Yeah, see, I thought
something was fishy there,
476
00:13:57,045 --> 00:13:58,420
because it's usually Morty's
grandpa that's taking
477
00:13:58,505 --> 00:13:59,296
him out of school.
478
00:13:59,380 --> 00:14:00,380
Summer?
479
00:14:00,381 --> 00:14:03,717
[ SOBBING ]
What kind of God lets this happen?
480
00:14:03,801 --> 00:14:04,885
We had a little incident.
481
00:14:04,969 --> 00:14:06,595
A student was frozen to death.
482
00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:09,723
And there's no evidence that
a Latino student did it!
483
00:14:09,807 --> 00:14:11,391
Everyone wants to take
this to a racial place.
484
00:14:11,476 --> 00:14:12,893
I won't let them.
485
00:14:12,977 --> 00:14:16,939
The Glarp Zone is for flarping
and unglarping only.
486
00:14:17,023 --> 00:14:19,942
ALIEN: So, I told him,
"Give me the Blimfarx," you know?
487
00:14:20,026 --> 00:14:21,527
This... this guy...
488
00:14:21,611 --> 00:14:22,903
he doesn't understand
interstellar currency.
489
00:14:22,987 --> 00:14:24,696
It's, like, I'm trying
to eat a Flimflam...
490
00:14:24,781 --> 00:14:26,865
like, that's what
we eat on Girvonesk.
491
00:14:26,950 --> 00:14:29,743
The glarp zone is for
flarping and unglarping only.
492
00:14:29,827 --> 00:14:31,036
I don't like it here, Morty.
493
00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:32,371
I can't abide bureaucracy.
494
00:14:32,455 --> 00:14:34,164
I don't like being told
where to go and what to do.
495
00:14:34,249 --> 00:14:35,582
I consider it a violation.
496
00:14:35,667 --> 00:14:37,167
Did you get those seeds
all the way up your butt?
497
00:14:37,252 --> 00:14:38,293
Yeah, Rick.
498
00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:39,670
Let's just get
this over with, okay?
499
00:14:39,754 --> 00:14:41,338
I mean, these things are pointy.
They hurt.
500
00:14:41,422 --> 00:14:42,589
That means they're good ones.
501
00:14:42,674 --> 00:14:44,049
You're a good kid, Morty.
502
00:14:44,133 --> 00:14:46,343
Those Mega seeds are super
valuable to my work.
503
00:14:46,427 --> 00:14:48,095
You've been a huge help to me.
504
00:14:48,179 --> 00:14:50,619
I'm gonna be able to do [BURPS]
all kinds of things with them.
505
00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:52,474
It's gonna be great, Morty.
506
00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:53,759
[ BURPS ] All kinds of science.
507
00:14:53,768 --> 00:14:55,060
Okay, next through.
508
00:14:55,144 --> 00:14:56,937
Except you. You go over there.
509
00:14:57,021 --> 00:14:58,063
Why does he have
to go over there?
510
00:14:58,147 --> 00:14:59,189
Random check.
511
00:14:59,274 --> 00:15:00,274
He's got to go through
the new machine.
512
00:15:00,358 --> 00:15:01,358
What new... [BURPS]
what new machine?
513
00:15:01,442 --> 00:15:02,484
It's a new machine.
514
00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:03,860
It detects stuff all
the way up your butt.
515
00:15:03,945 --> 00:15:05,612
Run, Morty! Run!
516
00:15:05,697 --> 00:15:06,780
Aah!
517
00:15:06,864 --> 00:15:07,864
Red alert!
518
00:15:07,865 --> 00:15:10,284
[ ALARMS BLARING ]
519
00:15:11,703 --> 00:15:13,704
[ GRUNTS ]
520
00:15:14,956 --> 00:15:16,373
[ SCREECHING ]
521
00:15:20,295 --> 00:15:22,045
ohhhhh!
522
00:15:24,882 --> 00:15:26,049
[ COUGHS ]
523
00:15:26,134 --> 00:15:26,967
[ CRYING ]
524
00:15:27,051 --> 00:15:30,178
[ COUGHING ]
525
00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:31,805
Hey! Ohhhhhh.
526
00:15:31,889 --> 00:15:32,764
[ GROANS ]
527
00:15:32,849 --> 00:15:33,682
Aah!
528
00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:34,808
Don't think about it!
529
00:15:36,811 --> 00:15:38,478
Ooh!
530
00:15:40,189 --> 00:15:41,189
[ SHOES BEEPING ]
531
00:15:41,274 --> 00:15:42,274
Oh, nice, Morty!
532
00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:43,555
The student becomes the teacher.
533
00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:46,236
[ BUZZING ]
534
00:15:46,321 --> 00:15:50,991
[ BOTH SCREAMING ]
535
00:15:51,075 --> 00:15:52,117
[ BOTH GRUNT ]
536
00:15:52,201 --> 00:15:53,452
Whoooooo!
537
00:15:53,536 --> 00:15:55,996
Aah!
538
00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:57,664
Aw, hell, no, dawg.
539
00:15:57,749 --> 00:15:58,957
You know me...
I'm just trying to...
540
00:15:59,042 --> 00:16:01,209
Aah!
541
00:16:04,088 --> 00:16:06,131
I need to type in the coordinates
to our home world, Morty.
542
00:16:06,215 --> 00:16:07,674
Cover me.
- Oh, man.
543
00:16:07,759 --> 00:16:09,679
I mean, you know, I-I
don't want to shoot nobody.
544
00:16:09,761 --> 00:16:10,844
They're just robots, Morty!
545
00:16:10,928 --> 00:16:12,012
It's okay to shoot them!
546
00:16:12,096 --> 00:16:13,096
They're robots!
547
00:16:13,181 --> 00:16:15,140
Aah!
548
00:16:15,224 --> 00:16:16,558
My leg is shot off!
549
00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:17,976
Glenn's bleeding to death!
550
00:16:18,061 --> 00:16:20,145
Someone call his wife
and children!
551
00:16:20,229 --> 00:16:21,271
They're not robots, Rick!
552
00:16:21,356 --> 00:16:22,606
It's a figure of speech, Morty.
553
00:16:22,690 --> 00:16:23,690
They're bureaucrats.
554
00:16:23,733 --> 00:16:24,733
I don't respect them.
555
00:16:24,776 --> 00:16:25,942
Just keep shooting, Morty.
556
00:16:26,027 --> 00:16:28,612
You have no idea what
prison is like here!
557
00:16:31,532 --> 00:16:33,033
Holy crap!
This is insane!
558
00:16:33,117 --> 00:16:35,327
[ CROWD SCREAMING ]
559
00:16:43,378 --> 00:16:44,378
RICK:
Come on, Morty!
560
00:16:44,420 --> 00:16:45,780
We got to get the
hell out of here!
561
00:16:47,590 --> 00:16:49,174
[ ALL GASP ]
562
00:16:49,258 --> 00:16:51,259
Wow.
563
00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:53,679
Did you just come into the
cafeteria through a portal?
564
00:16:53,763 --> 00:16:55,055
Uh, yeah.
565
00:16:55,139 --> 00:16:57,849
Well, you know, my... my
Ferrari's in the shop.
566
00:16:57,934 --> 00:16:59,309
[ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY ]
567
00:16:59,394 --> 00:17:00,268
Ju... just kidding.
568
00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:01,937
You're Morty, right?
- Yeah.
569
00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:03,181
You can get his number later.
570
00:17:03,189 --> 00:17:04,898
Come on, Morty. We got
to get out of here.
571
00:17:04,982 --> 00:17:06,191
You got to get those
seeds out of your ass.
572
00:17:06,275 --> 00:17:07,317
Oh, look, honey.
573
00:17:07,402 --> 00:17:09,611
It's our son with
Albert Ein-douche.
574
00:17:09,696 --> 00:17:10,779
What?
575
00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:12,280
I'm an angry father,
not an improvisor.
576
00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:13,573
Oh, hi, Jerry.
577
00:17:13,658 --> 00:17:15,242
Oh, my goodness, Morty!
578
00:17:15,326 --> 00:17:16,910
What are you doing out of class?
579
00:17:16,994 --> 00:17:18,203
We talked about this.
580
00:17:18,287 --> 00:17:20,080
Your... your parents and
I are very disappointed in...
581
00:17:20,164 --> 00:17:22,749
in this behavior.
582
00:17:22,834 --> 00:17:24,626
No? No takers?
583
00:17:24,711 --> 00:17:26,795
You guys should really not
be touching that stuff.
584
00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:27,838
It's beyond your reasoning.
585
00:17:27,922 --> 00:17:28,839
You're beyond our reasoning!
586
00:17:28,923 --> 00:17:30,215
Takes one to know one.
587
00:17:30,299 --> 00:17:34,720
Dad, how could you make my
son miss an entire semester of school?
588
00:17:34,804 --> 00:17:36,284
I mean, it's not like
he's a hot girl.
589
00:17:36,305 --> 00:17:38,265
He can't just bail on
his life and set up shop
590
00:17:38,349 --> 00:17:39,516
in someone else's.
591
00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:40,767
What... what are you
guys doing with my stuff?
592
00:17:40,852 --> 00:17:43,520
We're moving you...
to a nursing home.
593
00:17:43,604 --> 00:17:44,604
A nursing home?
594
00:17:44,605 --> 00:17:45,647
What are...
what are you, nuts?
595
00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:46,732
I'm a genius.
596
00:17:46,774 --> 00:17:48,108
I build robots for fun.
597
00:17:48,192 --> 00:17:50,193
Well, now you can build baskets
and watch Paul Newman movies
598
00:17:50,278 --> 00:17:53,572
on VHS and mentally scar the
Boy Scouts every Christmas.
599
00:17:53,656 --> 00:17:54,489
What does that mean?
600
00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:55,407
It's personal.
601
00:17:55,491 --> 00:17:56,742
Dad, mom, c-come on.
602
00:17:56,826 --> 00:17:59,077
Rick just needed my help is all.
603
00:17:59,162 --> 00:18:00,454
Morty, stay out of this.
604
00:18:00,538 --> 00:18:04,166
You are obviously not capable
of judging these situations on your own.
605
00:18:04,250 --> 00:18:05,417
What are you trying
to say about Morty?
606
00:18:05,501 --> 00:18:06,501
That he's stupid or something?
607
00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:07,878
Oh, don't high-road us, Dad.
608
00:18:07,962 --> 00:18:10,964
You know fully well that Morty
is the last child that needs to
609
00:18:11,048 --> 00:18:12,257
be missing classes.
610
00:18:12,341 --> 00:18:14,176
I-I-I don't know what
you mean by that.
611
00:18:14,260 --> 00:18:15,802
Can... can... can you be a
little bit more specific?
612
00:18:15,887 --> 00:18:17,095
Oh, for crying out...
613
00:18:17,180 --> 00:18:18,847
he's got some kind of
disability or something.
614
00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:20,265
Is that what you want us to say?
615
00:18:20,349 --> 00:18:21,767
I do?
616
00:18:21,851 --> 00:18:23,518
Well, duh doy, son.
617
00:18:23,603 --> 00:18:27,230
Look, I love you, Morty, but we
both know you're not as fast as
618
00:18:27,315 --> 00:18:29,357
the other kids, and if you
want to compete in this world,
619
00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:31,276
you got to work twice as hard.
620
00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:32,694
Aw, geez, Dad.
621
00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:35,572
Y-you know, that's a lot
to drop on a kid all at once.
622
00:18:35,656 --> 00:18:38,158
Morty, t-tell your parents
the square root of Pi.
623
00:18:38,242 --> 00:18:39,576
Oh, come on, Rick.
624
00:18:39,660 --> 00:18:40,660
You know I can't.
625
00:18:40,703 --> 00:18:41,745
The square root of Pi,
Morty... go.
626
00:18:41,829 --> 00:18:44,873
1 .77245385.
627
00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:46,291
Whoa!
628
00:18:46,375 --> 00:18:47,667
What the hell?
629
00:18:47,752 --> 00:18:49,294
Holy crap. He's right.
630
00:18:49,378 --> 00:18:51,298
Morty, tell your parents
the first Law of [BURPS]
631
00:18:51,380 --> 00:18:52,672
Thermodynamics.
632
00:18:52,757 --> 00:18:55,842
"The increment in the internal
energy of a system is equal to
633
00:18:55,927 --> 00:18:57,594
the increment of heat
supplied to the system."
634
00:18:57,678 --> 00:18:59,429
Wow! I'm so smart!
635
00:18:59,514 --> 00:19:00,764
But...
636
00:19:00,848 --> 00:19:01,723
I told the both of you...
637
00:19:01,808 --> 00:19:02,682
school is stupid.
638
00:19:02,767 --> 00:19:03,975
It's not how you learn things.
639
00:19:04,060 --> 00:19:05,185
Morty's a gifted child.
640
00:19:05,269 --> 00:19:06,645
He has a special mind.
641
00:19:06,729 --> 00:19:07,896
That's why he's
my little helper.
642
00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:09,439
He's like me.
643
00:19:09,524 --> 00:19:12,192
He's gonna be doing great
science stuff later in his life.
644
00:19:12,276 --> 00:19:13,610
He's too smart for school.
645
00:19:13,694 --> 00:19:16,822
H-he needs to keep hanging out
[BURPS] and helping me.
646
00:19:16,906 --> 00:19:19,741
Jerry, I don't want whatever's
happening here to stop.
647
00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:21,284
No, I-I understand.
648
00:19:21,369 --> 00:19:23,328
Uh, maybe we overreacted.
649
00:19:23,412 --> 00:19:26,081
But he has to keep
going to school.
650
00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:27,457
Okay, Jerry.
651
00:19:27,542 --> 00:19:28,875
You drive a hard bargain,
652
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:30,293
but [BURPS] what am
I supposed to do?
653
00:19:30,378 --> 00:19:31,795
Say... [BURPS] say no?
654
00:19:31,879 --> 00:19:33,880
You... you really wear
the pants around here.
655
00:19:33,965 --> 00:19:35,757
I just want you to know,
between us, from now on,
656
00:19:35,842 --> 00:19:38,134
it's gonna be 100%
honesty and open,
657
00:19:38,219 --> 00:19:39,469
clear communication.
658
00:19:39,554 --> 00:19:41,847
Frank Palicky was
frozen to death today!
659
00:19:41,931 --> 00:19:42,889
No idea what you're
talking about.
660
00:19:42,974 --> 00:19:43,974
[ SOBBING ]
661
00:19:43,975 --> 00:19:45,225
Okay.
662
00:19:45,309 --> 00:19:47,769
Well, uh, Morty,
it's your bedtime in an hour.
663
00:19:47,854 --> 00:19:49,396
Don't stay up all night again.
664
00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:50,772
This is good, though.
665
00:19:50,857 --> 00:19:52,148
This can work.
666
00:19:52,233 --> 00:19:54,234
I think we can be a family.
667
00:19:54,318 --> 00:19:56,695
And now, Beth,
if you'll have me,
668
00:19:56,779 --> 00:19:58,655
I would love to have you.
669
00:19:58,739 --> 00:19:59,823
You know what?
670
00:19:59,907 --> 00:20:01,157
Okay.
671
00:20:01,242 --> 00:20:02,951
Holy cow, Rick.
672
00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:05,412
I didn't know hanging out with
you was making me smarter.
673
00:20:05,496 --> 00:20:07,414
Full disclosure, Morty...
it's not.
674
00:20:07,498 --> 00:20:10,458
Temporary superintelligence is
just a side effect of the
675
00:20:10,543 --> 00:20:12,263
Mega seeds dissolving in
your rectal cavity.
676
00:20:12,336 --> 00:20:13,545
Aw, man.
677
00:20:13,629 --> 00:20:16,006
Yeah, and once those
seeds [BURPS] wear off,
678
00:20:16,090 --> 00:20:17,810
you're gonna lose most
of your motor skills,
679
00:20:17,884 --> 00:20:20,760
and you're also gonna lose
a significant amount of
680
00:20:20,845 --> 00:20:22,178
brain functionality
for 72 hours, Morty.
681
00:20:22,263 --> 00:20:24,848
Starting [BURPS]
right about now.
682
00:20:24,932 --> 00:20:25,932
Ohh, man.
683
00:20:25,975 --> 00:20:28,184
[ GROANING ]
Oh, geez! Ohh.
684
00:20:28,269 --> 00:20:30,228
I'm sorry, Morty.
It's a bummer.
685
00:20:30,313 --> 00:20:32,022
In reality, you're
as dumb as they come.
686
00:20:32,106 --> 00:20:33,815
And I needed those
seeds real bad,
687
00:20:33,900 --> 00:20:36,026
and I had to give them up just
to get your parents off my back,
688
00:20:36,110 --> 00:20:38,028
so now we're gonna
have to go get more.
689
00:20:38,112 --> 00:20:39,821
And then we're gonna go on even
more adventures after that,
690
00:20:39,906 --> 00:20:41,156
Morty.
691
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:43,033
And you're gonna keep your mouth
shut about it, Morty,
692
00:20:43,117 --> 00:20:44,993
because the world is full of
idiots that don't understand
693
00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:46,161
what's important,
694
00:20:46,245 --> 00:20:47,537
and they'll tear us apart,
Morty.
695
00:20:47,622 --> 00:20:50,206
But if you stick with me, I'm
gonna accomplish great things,
696
00:20:50,291 --> 00:20:52,292
Morty, and you're gonna be
part of them, and together,
697
00:20:52,376 --> 00:20:53,585
we're gonna run around, Morty.
698
00:20:53,669 --> 00:20:55,253
We're gonna do all kinds of
wonderful things, Morty.
699
00:20:55,338 --> 00:20:56,338
Just you and me, Morty.
700
00:20:56,339 --> 00:20:57,339
Oh, no, no.
701
00:20:57,423 --> 00:20:58,757
The outside world
is our enemy, Morty.
702
00:20:58,841 --> 00:21:01,301
We're the only [BURPS]
friends we've got, Morty.
703
00:21:01,385 --> 00:21:02,552
It's just Rick and Morty...
704
00:21:02,637 --> 00:21:04,804
[BURPS] Rick and Morty
and their adventures, Morty.
705
00:21:04,889 --> 00:21:06,598
Rick and Morty forever
and forever.
706
00:21:06,682 --> 00:21:08,475
100 years,
Rick and Morty's things.
707
00:21:08,559 --> 00:21:11,770
Me and Rick and Morty running
around, and Rick and Morty time.
708
00:21:11,854 --> 00:21:14,189
All day long, forever.
709
00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:15,815
All... a hundred days.
710
00:21:15,900 --> 00:21:17,734
Rick and Morty forever...
100 times.
711
00:21:17,818 --> 00:21:20,737
Over and over,
rickandmortyadventures.com.
712
00:21:20,821 --> 00:21:23,740
www.rickandmorty.com.
713
00:21:23,824 --> 00:21:25,992
www.rickandmortyadventures.
714
00:21:26,077 --> 00:21:27,661
All 100 years.
715
00:21:27,745 --> 00:21:30,330
Every minute, rickandmorty.com.
716
00:21:30,414 --> 00:21:34,125
www.100timesrickandmorty.com.
717
00:21:55,564 --> 00:21:57,482
It's a good-a show!