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Eileen Chang wrote: "Like a person, will humble to the dust, and then bloom."
But she was emotional, not really happy, lonely life like fireworks.
Hulan Cheng Zhang Ailing deeply in love, even if Hulan Cheng romantic nature, hang out all day sleeping around with other women, still adhere to the Hulan Cheng Zhang Ailing send the cost of living, the humble to demonstrate her love for Hulan Cheng.
Is such a non-reciprocal feelings, there are how many Hulan Cheng love we do not know, however, both the high and low imbalance doomed this is a fruitless love.
Collapse of love, never peer moment began.
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Letters:
Oda is one of my high school classmates, because Oda beautiful handsome face, always gathered around a large wave of suitors, suitors there are a lot of beauty and talent co-existence, distinguished lineage of people. But Oda but it has not accepted the pursuit of others remain single, she thinks love is not based on skin deep, but may do so desperate man.
I thought she would love a person and to her bones together, but the surprise is in her junior year and a homely 30-year-old uncle together, she told me she would find a man she loves is.
After Oda and uncle together, like a little tail uncle, uncle to go no matter where Oda will follow where to go, every day small gift small snacks constantly, and often go where Uncle fun, eating goodies. All day along, uncle of Oda will become more of a love, chat with me when ten have nine are all about Uncle. Oda even planned to college graduation and uncle licensing of marriage.
One day, I received a letter micro Oda sent me to say "uncle seemed derailed, he always chat and a woman, talking on the phone and asked him he did not answer me, and said it's none of my business, so I do not control it and more. how do ah! I do not want to separate from him, I really love him, I want to marry him over a lifetime. "
At that moment, I could feel the panic and helplessness Oda, Oda can feel really love Uncle, uncle really derail even the Oda also still reluctant to separate and uncle wanted him to my side.
It turned out that love a person can really make yourself go head low to the dust. But before you expose your humble to each other when, means that this relationship is a relationship in the beginning of the imbalance.
几天过后，小田约我在一家咖啡店聊天，见到小田的时候我几乎认不出她来。身形消瘦、神情憔悴，双眼布满了红血丝，与以往的美丽形象截然不同。我还未开口询问，小田就哭着对我说“大叔原来已经结婚了，我偷偷拿着他的身份证去查，经常聊天的那个女人是他的老婆，他们连孩子都三岁了，为什么！为什么！我那么爱他，事事都听他的，事事都为他着想，为什么他要这样子对我，我昨天和他对峙，他还把我给打了。他说要和我分手，可是我还是好爱他，我真的不想和他分开，我宁愿做小三也不愿意和他分开啊！”
遇 合 分 析
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小田是如此高傲的一个人，在爱情面前竟也变得如此卑微。
我们可以做到为爱卑微，但从来不知道没有人会爱上卑微的你。
我们以为为爱牺牲，为爱卑微，是最大的爱，但很多局内人并不懂得，爱情里不需要也不能有卑微者，需要一个人卑微维持着的就不叫爱情。
爱情讲究交流，双方的关系对等，幸福的感觉才比较持久。如果不对等，感情深的，投入多的就是比较受苦和煎熬的一方。如果彼此之间的关系从来没有对等过，又或者曾经的对等变得不再依旧，这样的话，慢慢有一方会变得越来越痛苦，直至关系变得名存实亡。
解 决 办 法
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对等的关系有两种，彼此都尊重对方，珍惜对方；还有一种就是一方付出，一方接收的关系。人是善变的动物，即使一开始大家旗鼓相当，关系对等，这考验的是彼此进步的一致性，如果不一致，其中一方能否心平气和地接受新的感情模式。
如果有一方，成长迅速，另外一方原地踏步，而一方还是用旧眼光，旧思维去看待自己的另一半，这样的话，本身建立在对等关系上的感情基础会慢慢被消磨，成为不稳定关系。
世界上有很多东西可以依靠艰苦奋斗得到，唯独对爱情，再努力也没用。
所以，请不要给别人伤害你的机会，不要让自己在爱情里爱得那么狼狈。如果现在的你已经爱得如此卑微，那你往后还能爱谁呢？
与其动不动就倾其所有，还不如留一些骄傲与疼爱给自己。
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