link: https: //www.zhihu.com/question/305368229/answer/751584466
Source: know almost
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If you ask me, what is in my eyes the most critical workplace ability? No doubt, I'll tell you decisively: skills. So why skills are so important in my opinion?
In the workplace, you have to do not only have new ideas and insights in mind, more important is to clearly articulate it in front of colleagues, leadership, customers. Work tend to have action, but had to learn to use their own language to infect and persuade others. Large family to see, all standing in the spotlight elite, there is no difference in the ability of a person is expressed.
Language as a tool we need to use every day, some people "quips," some people, "I lied," which is the difference between "linguistic intelligence" and what is "linguistic intelligence"? Good language skills are not innate, but people continue to be acquired through learning polish skills. In a variety of human intelligence, linguistic intelligence is the first intellect, from babbling to start, learn to speak first exchange is the ability of people to grasp. Small baby crying to express themselves "hungry," the appeal, with great conversation to resolve national issues among national leaders. This ability in one's life to occupy a very important position, is a core factor in the cause of the people and social development.
There is also a necessary prerequisite skills, is the ability to understand. Only you enough to understand what others say, you can better respond to the order I put the skills and understanding together referred to as "communication skills", which is a two-way capability.
So how to improve our communication skills, communication skills so that we become a booster of social skills and career development help it? I put it summarized in the following three steps: recognize the nature, to sort out problems, improve the ability
A clear understanding of the nature of "exchange" of
Talking about how to improve communication skills, a lot of people speak up on the method, he said routine, yet few people analyze what the nature of "exchange" of yes. In my opinion, " the essence of communication" is the process of communicating ideas to others. Liu Cixin people read the "three-body" should have the impression that, in the novel "three-body" and by "reading" other three-body's "brain waves" to communicate, which is a very efficient and direct communication way, it will not cause the information conveyed in the loss and distortion (to friends not seen a wave of strong grass "three-body"). The humans of communication with respect to the three-body complex, multi-person, the whole process see the following figure:
As shown above, we are going through an exchange these five steps, as long as there is a step which has gone wrong, the exchange will be poor (now is not that exchange is indeed a very complex thing?).
Second, clarify communication problems can easily arise
After the essence of "exchange" of a clear understanding, to enhance communication skills, we need to understand a few problems during the exchange of the most vulnerable, and then consider the corresponding solutions. I believe if we can understand these problems and solve them thinking, enhance communication skills that every minute thing (leak confident smile).
Question 1: "context" did not align
The so-called "context" usually refers to the two sides to communicate a matter of "consensus", the "consensus" includes basic common sense, logical reasoning and basic pre-information communication.
For example, the following sentence: "? Xiao Ming is a house just buy people, how can not afford to buy a bicycle" This sentence seems nothing special, but in itself it contains at least the following "consensus":
Basic common sense: your house than a bicycle;
derivation logic: Because the house is more expensive than a bicycle, but Bob can not just buy from the house, so Xiao Ming bought from bike;
if the dialogue the two sides no more than the consensus, the recipient of this statement would be simply impossible the sender receives the idea, resulting in poor communication.
Similarly, the pre-information when communication to understand each other's thinking is very important, and we see this couple the following dialogue:
Woman: "how do you not answer my calls this week ah?"
Man: "I'm very busy, ah, really can not spare the time."
Woman: "Oh, as compensation you give me to buy a bag."
Think about it, if the preceding sentence or two blows, the girls speak directly to the third sentence is not very obtrusive?
Daily communication process, many people feel because of poor communication "context" is not justified, and the reason can be subdivided into two types:
Basic common sense are not aligned, for example, the following dialogue:
A: "I heard that you've been looking for a job, how to progress?"
B: "ah, find, and ready to go to Salford newspaper"
Students not the Internet circle to see this dialogue should feel very ignorant force, right? now it's right! Because the B answer is "Salford News" is the story (see in particular HTTPS: // new.qq.com/omn/20190415 /20190415A07520.html ). If the parties are not aligned basic knowledge of dialogue, A is likely to hear the head fog.
In general, this situation only need to pay attention to those who listen to background knowledge, try to use some of the more commonly used terms, such as the above sentence into:
A: "I heard that you've been looking for a job, how to progress?"
B: "ah, find, Alibaba ready to go to work."
This expression reduces the demands on the listener's basic common sense.
Derivation logic is not aligned (paintings focus), such as the following dialogue:
Xiao Ming mother: "You do not think that when homework is too far from the table yet?"
After listening to Bob shifted his butt toward the table, said: "Well,"
Xiao Ming mother: "Well dead lazy, put forward a stool move it not? "
In this scenario, the mother Xiao Ming Xiao Ming said this is to look at the stool move forward. The logic Xiao Ming is far from the desk put forward by a butt can be solved by not using mobile stool. It is precisely because of this difference in logic, so that both sides communicate information errors occur.
In fact, in daily communication in derivation logic because no communication barriers Qifa Sheng occupy most. The reason is because different people often have different logical thinking. As expressed by, if the pursuit of efficiency is taken for granted neglected to explain his own logic - the logic is often said that jump, then the listener must want to fill this blank part of the logic. Once the parties are not the same logic, it will cause poor communication.
To solve this problem is actually very easy, it is expressed by the derivation logic step by step detailed statements out so the listener can tell your watch by pressing step by step to re-derive your mind (there is a scene of crime recover a sense of the foot ). In fact, the market a lot of books to teach you how to express are based on the principle (Unfortunately, most of its course is not only the why). Specifically, we look at an example:
A: "I recommend Xiaoming school classmate election roll student selection (point of view).
(1 point) his academic excellence, in the past two semesters in the school's ranking in the top 10 (arguments);
(point 2) he insisted exercise, athletic meets and made the men's 1,500-meter third (argument);
(point 3) his good moral character, as a member of learning in the classroom, and actively counseling students homework, and also took part in three school organization the support activities for elderly (argument).
(the above three points for the derivation)
Based on good student selection criteria, Xiao Ming students should obtain good student title. (Deduce a conclusion supported the views of) "
Since these words contain a complete derivation of logic, so the listener can fully in accordance with this set of logically deduce the same conclusion. This avoids communication problems caused because the logic is filled.
Question 2: "The expression" the wrong choice
Before we analyze this issue and we look at the period of "The Contract":
"
I Yin now sixteen years old native of northern Jiangsu Su net worth of innocence no transgression only
to poor families sold themselves act as a nunnery Washington newspaper fifty-two self worth
autumn Festival accountant from scratch to take three years from Cheng value study daily burning
incense sweeping wash Yan Surusumi and other things let beck and call to start from scratch. According to this legislation.
"
Yes, students should be familiar with have found that this is Stephen Chow Edition "Flirting Scholar" in the indenture, is a possession of the first text. From top to bottom four of the first word is put together: "I Scholar." Flirting with the very first possession of the first purpose of the text will prostitute themselves to enter Taishi House glamorous on paper. However, because the problem "expression", the other has not found.
In addition to possession of the first article of this deliberate "trick", the "expression error" in real life often occurs mainly three kinds:
a. improper expression
For example: "The traitor is really worthy death."
"Worthy death" in addition to the meaning of the expression of the dead, but also expressed the dead valuable and meaningful, it is a commendatory. Used in the "traitors" who would make people feel inconsistent.
Although improper expression like this does not affect the exchange, but easy to feel awkward, but will make people think those expressing "no culture" (yes, it will be despised). So in the daily expression, or to pay special attention to proper expression.
Improper b. Communication
Such as: reporting or speaking from time to time, if only by language, difficult for listeners / viewers for a long time and can not concentrate on people to seize the key, this time together with pictures and text (yes, that is PPT), will be more easily expressed clear, and easier to grab the audience's attention.
Choose the appropriate means of communication can play a less effective results, but this is often ignored. Generally speaking,
Language suitable for expressing simple, fragmented content;
Picture suitable for expressing complex content;
Body movements suitable for expression of emotion;
Text suitable system of representation and transmission of information.
Sometimes based on particular scenarios, we need to be mixed together using a variety of expressions.
c. The expression vague
For example, after a confession boys to girls, the girls replied: "I think some distance between us." In this sentence, the girl in the end to accept or reject the confession of it? This sentence can be understood as to encourage girls to boys: "between you and I almost, you should strive to yo!"; Can also be understood as the girls declined to boys: "There is still a distance between us, inappropriate . "
Sometimes, when we deliberately vague expression of some need. But most of the time, we still need to put clearly express their thoughts clearly. The expression refers to the so-called no clear-mindedness, that is expressed only parse out the contents of an idea.
Take also the example above, if the girls with "I do" or "I do not want" to answer, will allow the expression of clear and understandable. (Of course, the girl is very shy, so it would be more tactful answer this question).
Question 3: Select the time to communicate, scene selection is wrong
Speaking of this, I'll give you a story: "Tianqi Emperor hobby woodworking, eunuchs every pick he is busy enjoying themselves when reporting the results of the memorial Tianqi very angry, he said: 'After these things do not come I'm tired, and you can figure it out '. so the eunuch bypassing the emperor in charge of political affairs in this way. "
To know when the "exchange" if the "transmission of information" the environment chooses not to, it will seriously affect the "exchange" effect. In this case, the eunuch is the use of this method has made the right ruling. Although it is a counter-example, but also demonstrates the importance of "passing information" their environment. Means of communication, the exchange of content-based and so need to "transmit information" to adjust the environment in order to achieve the best results.
As another example, there is in the consulting industry in a very well-known means of communication, called "elevator speech (elevator speech)." As the name suggests, that is 20-30 seconds at this time the elevator, through the "communication" (mainly expressed) to efficiently communicate information.
I used to have had such an experience. It was in a critical period of the project, internal customer differences for consultation direction of late. I, as the person in charge of the project, I need to think about the following statement to the core work of the project decision-makers, to persuade him to support my decision. However, on the one hand due to work, the person in charge is very busy, I have been about less; on the other hand, the project is very tight, you need a clear conclusion as soon as possible. So one day after that decision makers will attend a meeting, I'll wait outside the meeting room, hoping to use the time to take the elevator to reach his goal.
In this environment, although the ultimate goal of my work is to state the idea and convinced him to support my decision. However, considering the short time he was riding the elevator, noisy environment, so I certainly do not have time to slowly report. So I will own goals as: "to their own fight for a chance to be able to persuade him to agree with my views reporting"; and because of the limited time, I decided to set out the impact of the project on decision-makers (interest), then the current presentation aspects of the project, the final report for the opportunity.
The overall report content like this (according to excerpts memory, blows greeting section):
"This project will not only affect the development direction of the second half of the sector, but also determines whether the company full-year profit targets can be reached. However the parties involved disagree on the follow-up development projects to be bridged, the project almost stagnant. I do on these issues a detailed analysis, and combed several options that you see there is time for me recently if you report that? "we do not look at short this passage, but time is enough to lift this will finish the words . In the end, this is the elevator speech I won a chance to report, and more importantly, I set forth a concise and let him accept my point of view, without accounting for time, then the project can proceed smoothly after the decision-makers are finalized .
Overall, a lot of people "passing information" link in the selection environment is often not very seriously, which also led to a lot of ineffective communication or even negative effect of communication. Therefore, we should pay more attention at this point to avoid stepping pit.
Third, to enhance their ability to communicate
To talk about how to enhance the communication skills, the method is very much, but to vary. In my opinion, there are three more generic way, for everyone to share here.
First: the willingness to enhance exchanges
Yes, I'm talking about the will to communicate. In my experience, not everyone is willing to communicate with others (such as many of the procedures shy ape, do not ask how I know, because I used to be a program ape when he do not want to exchange).
If there is no willingness to exchange, want to improve communication skills is a joke. Like a lot of people who live quietly, stick in his comfort zone to enjoy. But in today's society the division so fine, so frequent collaboration between people in society, communication has become a very critical person the ability to affect a person's work, life and even whole life, so take the initiative to enhance communication is through the will of their own essential.
Take my own example to. I itself is a technical woman, once the most favorite thing is wearing headphones, listening to music, written code. But with the deepening of the work, I have found one thing to promote far more important to write a bunch of code. Purely technical difficult to create great value, a lot of value through the communication business to be quantified. This thing I had a great impact, so I secretly determined to improve their communication skills.
I used a taxi all the time a person quietly listening to music, but in order to exercise their communication skills, I forced myself and the taxi driver chat on; when people go on a trip and say hello to chat with other countries; when in the company active and operational staff cotton. In the beginning, almost every time the ice (super awkward). With the continued exercise, and slowly found a chat tips and fun, was gradually on the right track. Hard to imagine, if there is no strong will, how can own persevered.
Second: before speaking his mind too
At first, I found myself talking always say not the point, others difficult to understand. So, I have observed a lot of people find themselves, but the biggest problem is the brain before you speak. Because there is no careful thought, so the organization improper language, logic is not rigorous, inaccurate wording, to bring a lot of communication problems. We can go and see their side of leadership or senior colleagues, you will find a lot of people tend to speak not fast, and spoke in clear thinking to do.
The most typical example: the recent frequent and impressive Foreign Ministry spokesman Geng Shuang, we observe them in doing unscripted speech, are often out of words to say a few words. If you look closely, you can find them, answering reporters' questions before export have done a careful thought. Many times we are always saying soon, mind turn very slowly, this is not a good habit.
Third: to learn themselves and their dialogue
To enhance communication skills, I suggest that you have to learn one played two roles: not only do express who have done listener. There was a time, before I go to bed every night, put some day to communicate with others and are not satisfied with the scene in his mind over a few times.
On the one hand, I will stand on their own perspective would be better to think how expression;
On the other hand, I will try to stand in each other's role, think if received such expression whether he can receive the correct information? All in all, this method is a bit schizophrenic, but I think the effect is quite good.
For example, before I do elevator speech, and that it simulates many times. For the content of the talk, I kept 说给自己听, and try to figure out my heart was leading after hearing these words. I do not think that talking tens of seconds, then little word, really polished for a long time after the product.
At the same time, the rhythm of the language, tone focus, and punctuation are all talking to himself by constantly honed. (In fact, this method is also very easy to use when making a speech, a speech by the continuous speech for himself, not only to enhance the proficiency, better able to find many problems)
In this day and age, the wine is also afraid of deep alley. If a person's own ability is very strong, but as a result of its own shortcomings exchange value can not be fully reflected, this is very unfortunate. Fortunately, as long as the exchange of clear principles, frequently asked questions and a lot of polish can easily be raised.
Concluded sentence: strong communication skills who must be intelligent, because behind this is the need to rely on quick thinking to support. So I do not think this person how narrowly so would say is a bad thing, you know: people tend to articulate ruled the whole world.
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I welcome everyone's attention micro-channel public number: Blank Woman sharing stories workplace and data with you. It was the name of the Internet data analysts and data currently engaged in consultancy in London.