"Good mother than a good teacher," the excellent 3300 book review word:
Ever since I have come to their schools' good mother than a good teacher, "this book, I more and more realize that a person's childhood growing environment for him \ her adult how important is the physical and mental development. Where the family rearing and family relationships live atmosphere is the most critical part. Yin Jianli teacher in "good mother than a good teacher," a book, says: want to see the reality in the end is how this kind of family environment, and specifically how to operate, one to want to test my family life in childhood whether received from my parents' inappropriate treatment, and secondly, would like to know more about the future of their own children may be less susceptible to the point of torture because of my ignorance caused to them. Since the beginning teacher Yin Jianli read the first book, I was attracted inside subversive views. Throughout the book there is no boring theory and blindly preaching, but to talk about their own educational philosophy and operating practices, easy to understand the needs of children around, mild firm. After reading good mother series of three books, I feel the need to record my own feelings, for your reference, and vigilant myself:
First, parents need to keep learning
No matter what the world needs job training, parenting alone. Most people are not prepared and experienced directly the posts. Especially as we are a large part of 80 people, in their psychology is not mature, can not take responsibility for the family when, or because older to marry, or because the tadpoles strong competitiveness, or because you want to be what kind of things to do at what age the trend, we celebrate its next generation look ignorant. Wrinkled face of a very weak also crying baby, helpless we surprised at the same time. Next, we will be a variety of reasons, the parents or nanny Come home to share the responsibility of conservation of the baby, under the guidance of experienced seniors we slowly learn to skillfully baby bubble bath milk diaper . Even when there is doubt about feeding experience predecessors we will read parenting books, child-care physicians to seek advice learned more scientific experience to ensure their baby the best physical care. All this is just the beginning, because the baby will not self-expression, is not running and jumping, all their needs are expressed by crying, hungry and crying, crying sleepy, urine cry, uncomfortable crying, just find adult the reason they cry can be easily resolved. Wait until the baby they began to grow, they have mastered the words began to chatter issues continue to scream, learned to walk began rummaging through excessive demands non-stop running, they developed free will, they began to explore independently. Adult face every day is a change in the development of children, each child has its own growth pattern, there are new problems every day, new conditions arise. Some adults will seek advice from an experienced friend, but each person's environment is unique and complex, not all can learn from experience; some adults with their usual way of dealing with people treat their children, simple and crude, even with their own feelings to; some adults would use their growing self-righteous in the way they treat their parents deal with the problem, disobedient children shout a pass, forget homework fun to beat up a meal; some adults will look educational books to gain experience.
But not one book can fully mimic the reference and children and taught them how to get along, how to deal with every difficult problem. And children how to get along, how to guide their children, how to take parenting style, how to teach children to follow the rules, no reference standard answer. The quality of the material and living conditions are visible and measurable standard, but to guide the thinking and spirit is invisible and not measurable, and there is no exact reference standard. So most of the people on their own status in the treatment of children is not self-aware. So, when adults get along with their children encounter when thorny issues, when they found themselves had been treated in their own way parents treat their children with childhood, when that child has been rebelling against their own requirements, may wish to look at classical education books , listen to handle the experience of others, mostly children standing on the point of view of their treatment, positive thinking and learn to adjust their strategies and methods, to provide the best environment for the healthy development of children. Parenting, is a lifelong learning process needs to progress.
Second, respect the child's nature and needs
let the children fully explore the world, as long as the child's behavior does not give rise to dangerous and against the law and morality. Children master the language and the ability to act in the future, they explore the world of the process is even more accelerated. Who is the most beautiful people book review there is a saying on the psychology, the child is like a sponge, information on all sides of the filter without completely and absorb their knowledge before the age of three further than knowledge of adult learning want more. See something fun to touch bumper and saw ants crawling going to crush, there are puddles on the road must jump.
Child's nature is curious, playful. They do not understand the rules of the adult world, do not understand non prioritize them in their own unique way to understand the world, improve their knowledge and form their own cognitive reserve. Adults need to do is to help their children learn when adults are cooking along the way and avoid hot oil to the fire and, when the child does not want to go sliding down the stairs from the handrail, try to protect them not to fall in children want to get rid of your hand when crossing the street alone in monitoring their side of the vehicle and the security guard ...... respect the child's needs, protect their nature, allow them to ensure their safety in the premise of freedom to explore. In many cases, restrict adult children to explore the world of behavior in order to reduce the line to facilitate their trouble. This world is the adult world, children must rely on adults to survive. Adult deeply understand this truth, so give the child to establish unequal rules limit their behavior, but most of the time this limitation is simply to enable children to adults less trouble. Children want to eat, adults must feed. Adults think children eat too slow, rice scattered everywhere, clothes get dirty. Because adults feel the impact too slow to eat things behind schedule, rice sprinkled everywhere are hard to clean, but also to wash dirty clothes, if fed directly behind the troubles are saved. But they do not know, feeding behavior is not only hindered the exploratory behavior of children, also affect the ability to develop his independence, may appear a child of five or six cases of adults still chasing fed. So the best way is that children want to eat on their own to eat their own, dirty floors and afterwards packed enough clothes for adults; kids want to jump in the mud together to accompany them to jump, dance through the clothes to wash just fine; want to go stairs to accompany them and help them take the stairs a few steps together. Adults should have no trouble mentality, a little more patience and kindness, give the child enough time, let them not bother to explore in their own world.
Third, obedient children is not necessarily a good boy
In real life we often hear adults evaluation, which is good obedient good boy good with children, and to be praised parents feel particularly happy and glorious. But from a psychological point of view, children are not always obedient boy, you need to identify the difference. Children are spiritual animals, they know their weak, dependent adults know they need to survive, so they will wind blows, to meet the needs of adults by adjusting their behavior to get adults alike, to ensure that they can better survive. Enlightened parenting of the child, his obedient probably because the parents know how to comply with the rules can bring the benefits of their own. If the encounter is authoritarian parents, young children because their parents succumb to the authority will choose to obey their parents, their indiscriminate obedient to escape the blame on the parents' words and even physical torture, they will be free spend, their self-development repressed, they are walking puppets, not have their own independent thinking, no sense of resistance and ability to become a poor man obedient.
Fourth, the parents give their children a positive example of the power of guided
born dragon, phoenix raw chicken, mouse's son can make hole. Some adult day talking with their children to learn, play cards yourself coming home early in the morning every day to drink; some adult grumpy little on every day at home shouting do not understand why children play truant fight on the Internet. Parents give their children an example with reference to the words and deeds of the monasteries of positive education so that children grow up in the nurture. Want their children to love learning, parents should first create a warm family environment; want to train children to love reading habits, parents gave their best to arrange a special reading time every day; want to cultivate children love to think and to explore the ability of parents to actively encourage and support children's exploration activities. Bad family atmosphere and poor parental behavior not cultivate future health of children and up. Parents are their children's mirror, the mirror house lights up the children from their own future. Adulthood we often find that our behavior and the principle of doing things like most of our parents and even our original family also inherited their parents live in the mode set up their own families. Devote their lives, most of us just copy the parent's life. Want good-looking himself in the mirror, you need to disguise himself, so did their good looks. Want their children to have a better future, we need to constantly strive to learn, to become better parents.
These views are never touched me before upbringing in perspective, read three books Yin Jianli, I really have the feeling of Brief Encounter. Recalling his own childhood experiences growing up, is really a brutal history of growth. Busy working parents can not take care of us all day to accompany me and always pay attention to psychological needs and feelings, but it just gave me the greatest freedom to do what I love to do. Thank grandparents take care of their parents plus hard-working real good influence as a role model, I finally developed a look of decent law-abiding way, the history of my own growth is quite satisfactory. Thanks to a favorable environment for my dear family members to provide me, no you will not have me now so independent! Original family of temperature and nourishment are very important for every child, it definitely affects our lives, so now we have parents, needs and baby children learn to grow together, companionship, respect their choice, in appropriate protect the boy in the range, so that they grow up healthy and happy in a relaxed environment, learn as much as possible to comply with the child's original mind, helping them to grow farther and farther down the road, closer and better!