"The third-rate coders write the UI, the second-rate coders write the architecture, the first-rate coders write the algorithms, and the top coders wear women's clothing."
——In the Internet circle, there has always been such a joke that cannot be verified.
Programmers wearing women's clothing is a mysterious and hot topic. Most people have heard related stories, and some people have seen photos of "women's clothing bosses" on the Internet. For example, Weibo once held an unofficial "programmer women's clothing contest", which attracted many programmers.
But in life, it seems that there are few examples of real women's programmers.
When niche culture, gender, and occupations on the Internet blend together, what kind of stories have they experienced, what kind of cognitive transformations have occurred, and what kinds of conflicts and reconciliations have they had with society and family?
Today, we invited a male programmer who wears Lolita women's clothing to work in a BAT company to tell his story——
Oral: D Sauce Editor: Qingning Producer: Jing Sui
01
Make up for 1 hour a day and wear women's clothing all year round
I am D sauce, male, from Beijing, born in the 1980s. D sauce is the nickname most people call me. I am 172 and weigh more than 90 pounds. Currently working as a programmer in BAT, married for more than ten years, my wife is an alumnus, 2 years older than me, and also works in a large factory in Xierqi. From the second half of 2019 to the present, I have been wearing a Lolita skirt with makeup every day for almost 2 years.
When I was a teenager, I entered the pit of animation. At that time, I didn't know what Lolita was. I only thought that some characters' clothes were beautiful. At the beginning of 2006, a house friend sent me a link to a national brand Lolita store, and I started to contact Lolita since then.
At first, they wore men's clothing (now called gay clothing), that is, shirts, trousers, vests, etc. Later, there was a meeting of the cartoon version of Beiyouren Forum, and everyone said that I was thinner, so I should look good in a skirt. I also gradually felt that skirts can better reflect the gorgeous elegance of Lolita, so I began to try to buy a few skirts to wear.
Wearing skirts is less restrictive than trousers, and because of the panniers, walking is still light, which is very interesting. Later, I slowly started wearing Lolita dresses at various events, comic conventions, company annual meetings, etc.
Pictures of singing for me at the event
In late September 2019, I decided to start wearing women's clothing (mostly Lolita skirts) to work every day. It wasn't really a shocking event either - life isn't always this dramatic. But when people are middle-aged, they will inevitably face life and death. In the past few years, several elders in the family have left, and the cat that has been raised for 16 years has also passed away. I like cats very much, and my wife is also because of cats. know.
So I felt that life is really short. I worked hard to be a good son, a good student, a good husband, and a good employee in the first half of my life, but where did I put myself? For the rest of my life, I hope to be a better version of myself.
Now it takes about 1.5-2 hours to put on makeup, comb hair and put on clothes every day, all seasons of the year, basically rain or shine, and even sometimes work overtime until 2 o'clock, and still get up at 8 o'clock the next day make up. It may seem a little hard to others, but in fact I find it quite fun. I didn't think I could last this long before, but it has become a habit gradually.
I dress myself up a bit better every day, take pictures and post on Weibo, and bring a little fun to my "worker" life, and I feel that my life time has not been wasted.
The picture is one of my favorite outfits
02
I spent 350,000+ to buy 160 skirts, I used Excel to make a pivot table for the skirts
Over the years, I have continued to buy a lot of small skirts. Although I think I am more restrained, I have to admit that the joy of buying small skirts is actually quite high.
Before the epidemic, I flew to Japan many times to buy it. The first time I went there, I was inexperienced, so I brought two boxes, one large and one small. At that time, I bought too many to fit, so I bought a large box locally, and three boxes were stuffed. It was dragged back full to the brim.
All skirts are recorded in an Excel table and will be counted through pivot tables , such as the brand, name, fit, primary color, secondary color, accessories, price, purchase progress and other information of these skirts.
The picture shows some skirt statistics
Using Excel has given me a good idea of how much I'm spending on this hobby, and now the dresses total about $350,000.
Lolita is still a niche culture at present, and the niche cultural circle generally has a natural protective attitude towards originality, so I have been buying genuine products and supporting original designs with actions. Among these skirts, the most expensive one is about 20,000 RMB. The main reason for buying it is that it hits my aesthetic. The luxurious design, exquisite workmanship and exquisite materials have won my heart.
Through the table, you can also pay attention to which skirts have not been worn or have been worn less often, remind yourself to remember to wear them, and I can proudly say that my skirts have been worn at least once, and they have not been dusted.
The picture is a picture of wearing a dress of 20,000 yuan
A complete Lolita outfit (we generally call it a Fullset), from head to toe, the clothes are only part of it. From the hair accessories on the head, to the earrings, socks, shoes, bags, etc. basically everyone can think of a lot, and many of them are also purchased together with the skirt. There are also some high-heeled shoes. There are about a dozen pairs of different colors such as white, pink, red, blue and black, ranging from 5cm, 7cm, 10cm, to the highest 11.5cm, and various heights are also different.
At first, I was worried that the heels that were too high would not be able to fit, but now I can basically walk as fast as I can. My feet are size 40, which happens to be the largest size for women's shoes, so I'm glad I didn't encounter too many problems when buying shoes.
When I was at home, I mainly wore Yugui Dog's white plush pajamas. Men's clothing had basically disappeared from my world, and the few pairs of trousers at home were also packed and sent to my mother for storage . Save closet space for my little dresses.
03
Ten years of reconciliation and dislike of husband and wife, now very satisfied with life
We got to know each other at school forums at events together. Not long after we were together, she was also adopted by me as Lolita. She has also worn Lolita skirts with me many times to participate in activities together, and they will also exchange likes. clothes to wear. However, she has short hair now, and her daily clothes are mainly casual.
We have been married for more than ten years now, and we have basically passed the age of real conflict, and now we have reached a state of relative reconciliation. From the first time I wore women's clothes to now wearing women's clothes every day, she has gradually become more understanding of me.
In fact, there may have been some requirements or ideas for each other before, hoping that the other party will become what you want. For example, I like long hair, so I stop her every time she wants to cut it short. But thinking about it carefully, my preferences and requirements have become a burden on the other party, which is actually negative for the relationship between the two parties.
So we have reached a consensus with each other: if you have some wishes or you have some preferences, you will do it yourself, instead of asking the other party to do it. For example, if I like small skirts, I can wear them myself, instead of forcing her to wear them. In this way, we can all be the person we like, and each of us can live more stretched and happier. And as long as the other person is happy, we can be happier.
Pictures are part of my Lolita collection
Now, it is the daily life of the old couple. The housework at home has some general division of labor, but more often it depends on who can't bear it and who will do it. I am often disgusted by her that it is too slow to put on makeup and change clothes before going out. , or the cotton pad was used up and forgot to throw in the trash, and she was the one who often couldn't find socks at home.
Now it's the "old couple" living a normal life. As for the children, we made up our minds very early on DINK.
04
Women's clothing and DINK, both parents have accepted my life choice
The influence of the family of origin is subtle, and we may not be aware of it, but one day we suddenly realize that it is indeed because of this. Since then, we can often see the appearance of our parents in ourselves.
I have several cousins. I am the oldest in my generation. I often fought with them when I was young. Adults usually turn their backs on me when they are younger. Probably this has caused me to dislike children since I was a child . Noisy and annoying, it is better to have a cat than a child, which is one of the reasons for Dink.
When I was in college, my parents chose to live their own lives separately. I mainly stayed with my mother these years, and had less contact with my father.
The picture is one of my favorite outfits
Since high school graduation, the teacher stopped taking care of me, and I started to grow my hair. At first, my mother would say it, but later I found that it was useless to say it, so I probably gave up, at most it was just a habit of nagging. My mother didn't say anything about women's clothing after knowing it. Maybe she's used to many of my unconventional behaviors over the years , or it may be that people have reached a certain stage of life, and they really want to come as they want.
Regarding the matter of Dink, in fact, my family has always known that I don't like children, and I have been brainwashing them that I will not want children. I have discussed it with my daughter-in-law and my family before marriage and after marriage. Accepted.
05
I post clothes on Weibo every day, but I know very well that I am a boy
I have a Weibo account with more than 4,000 followers. I share my daily outfit and mood on Weibo every day. I use it as a window to show my "buyer show" and share good things. There will be a lot of people with me. Interact, comment and like. Although it is almost a daily update at present, it is actually closer to a state of random update. If you want to update, upload it, and if you don't want to update, you pigeon off them.
The picture is a screenshot of my Weibo homepage
I'm very aware that I'm a boy, which means I don't have a gender barrier, and I accept my biological gender (I've also been in the men's room all the time). From short hair to long hair, from men's clothing to everyday women's clothing, there is not much change in psychology, probably because I don't think there should be a particularly obvious boundary for gender, nothing is necessarily a woman. Can do, and nothing is necessarily done by a man.
In my concept, I want to pursue beauty, and beauty has nothing to do with gender.
Like a piece of clothing, not because it is men's or women's clothing, just because it is beautiful.
Be a beautiful person, not because of whether you wear men's or women's clothes, and not because of whether you are a man or a woman.
I am now the president of our animation club. This year is the tenth anniversary of the establishment of the animation club. There are more than 800 people in the group, and they are very active every day. We are very special. Even if the classmates leave, they will not be forced to quit, and they can still chat and play together in the group.
Sometimes we will go to some offline events, and we will also be invited to perform or something. One year on Programmer's Day, a game company organized an event, and a friend invited me to be a programmer encourager. At this event, I made money for the first time because of Lolita's hobby.
The picture is a photo of the offline event I participated in
06
I didn't think that one day I won't wear it, so let's continue like this
Maybe it's because I wore Lolita before to participate in the annual meeting, etc. Everyone knows my hobby and is used to it , so when I started wearing women's clothes to work every day, it didn't cause any uproar or onlookers in the company. The boss will remind me unless there is an activity where I have to wear designated clothes, but in fact, this kind of activity can be said to be very rare for a programmer.
There are also some female programmer colleagues in the office, and when they wear their favorite dresses, they will not be stingy with their praise. In many places, such as the company, I feel that I am relatively easy to be remembered, maybe because I am special, basically many people who have met me can remember me.
Wearing Lolita on the road can often feel the eyes of many people, but after a long time, I don't feel it anymore . I just look at it, and I don't get chopped when I see it, and I won't lose a piece of meat. Just take a look. That's it, it doesn't affect me, let it go.
It is often in the men's bathroom when a man suddenly comes in. Usually, he is stunned for a moment, then takes two steps back and looks up to check the sign on the door, then look at me, some people may have a face full of faces. I left in doubt, and some people may remind me that I went wrong. So when possible, I will try to choose to go to a separate compartment.
The picture is one of my favorite outfits
In the bathroom, because the combination of men's and women's clothes often needs to be explained, sometimes it will be a little annoying, because it has been explained too many times, and I will feel tired. But in fact, if you think about it carefully, people may be kind, afraid that I will go wrong and embarrassed, but in fact, it may be that I have embarrassed people. Harm, as long as I am not embarrassed, it is others who are embarrassed.
I never thought about saying that I will not wear it from the beginning, or I will stop wearing it when it arrives. Maybe one day I feel lazy and I will take a break, or I will not wear it if it is not suitable for today's activities. Wear it when you want to, don't wear it when you don't want to.
Since wearing it is because you don't want to set limits for yourself, then you don't need to set limits for yourself if you don't wear it. People's life is only a few decades, follow your heart, live every day seriously, and be comfortable.
Source: Internet 3000 People (ID: InternetStory)
Author: Editorial Department Internet 3000 People
About the author: Internet 3000 People (ID: InternetStory), record individual stories in the Internet era, please contact the backstage of the public account for reprinting.