sorry my dream

    I have been missing for a few days. I went to participate in the written test interview of Changsha ZTEsoft and received an internship offer. However, I am really not happy.
    I am a weak girl, I don't have the courage to be myself, I don't have the courage to live for my dreams, and I live like me in the eyes of others. No one can understand my embarrassment.
    Sorry for my dream.
    I am an artistic girl. I like to dance, draw, read, write, take care of flowers and plants, stay in a daze, or go out to exercise, and keep running forward...
    I was born in a rural area, and there is no superiority. I have not lived the life that other children have. I have been a little adult since I was a child. I am sensible and obedient, and I will not make my parents unhappy. I know that it is not easy for this family to rely on my father alone. We are very poor.
    I have been growing up according to the wishes of my parents. I have never studied dancing or painting. I just always got good grades. I chose a popular major, and now I am learning a popular programming. I am committed to being an excellent engineer, and I am committed to being the pride of my parents. I must be as they think, stable income, decent work, and happiness. family, filial children. I face everything with optimism and always face everyone with a smile. Well, I am fine. At least in the eyes of others, I am still good.
    However, what I really want to do has never been done. I can't follow my heart, I can't let myself ignore my parents, I can't listen to my parents' expectations and make a cold face. The summer internship was found, but I had to give up the opportunity because my mother let me go home. Yes, "in the future, you will have more time to work, but you will have less time to go home in the future, go home". (It's understandable for a mother to miss her daughter, but when you hear that command-like tone, your heart will always be troubled, and then you will feel a pain) This is what my mother said. She didn't understand the rare opportunity, no matter the importance of experience, she just wanted me to go home, and then I gave up the internship without hesitation. What a sweet baby.
    I want to act and be an actor, but I can only participate in the filming of a school micro-movie, not the main character; I want to be a flight attendant, but I just read the recruitment information, and I dare not sign up, because no one will support me; I want to do management, but I can only firm up the belief that I do technology first and then transfer management; I want to travel, but I just imagine what it will look like to make money in the future... It's
    not that my thoughts are implanted, it's just that my family was poor since I was a child. , I'm afraid of being poor, I'm just filial, I don't want to embarrass my parents, I can only embarrass myself, but my family education told me that this is always right, so I missed a lot. I didn't even tell a boy that he liked him. Nor did he sacrifice himself for love.
    At the graduation ceremony of Xiamen University, the professor was right: a hundred times in your life, you should be cautious, you have to stand up to the table once; a hundred times in your life, you need to be serious and loving; a hundred times in your life, you must not overstep the boundaries of lightning. Take a leisurely walk.
    People, you always have to live your own life. But I don't have the courage. I can only sneak out of bed in the middle of the night to look at the moon, thinking about what I would be like if I became what I thought. I am sorry for my dreams, and I am sorry for myself.
    I don't know if other children are the same as me. I just hope that parents don't impose their own wishes on their children, and don't let their children be poor in thinking, vision, courage, and only want stability. Not everyone can be Jack Ma, not everyone is Xi Jinping, and not all flowers are fragrant. As long as we live out ourselves, we can reflect our own value. Let the child do what he likes to do, don't decide too much for him, what place of work, what career, what lover, this is all his business, he will handle everything, please give them more space for themselves, more Freedom, more understanding and trust.
    I used to be ashamed of myself because of love. Now, because of the gap between my dream and reality, I am quietly and quietly inferior. Low into the dust, but still looks beautiful.
    Sorry for my dream. One day, I'm going to take a stand. Now, I'm still just a programmer.

    When I was young, I used my dreams as a horse, thinking about living up to my youth. When I grew up, the horse was tied up in the stable, waiting for me to run away again and travel to the end of the world.