2021 will be over with a swish, this year's insights, I have chosen and chosen, these are still the best.
There are three articles in this series, and this is the first article (perceptions 1 to 7).
1. Life is full of hardships
Life is full of hardships. At the best of times, life is full of disappointments.
There are three things that cause suffering: nature, others, and oneself.
Nature is not so friendly to human beings. People just got rid of the cold and starvation, and they began to be troubled by the virus again.
The Soviet writer Vasily Grossman said: "People will never understand that the cities they create with their own hands are not a necessary part of nature. If he wants his culture to be protected from wolves and snowstorms, if he wants to protect himself If his city is not engulfed by weeds, he must have a broom, a shovel, and a rifle at all times. Once he falls asleep, or spends a year or two thinking about other things, he loses everything. The wolves come out of the forest, the thistle spreads, and all Everything will be covered by dust and snow. Think how many great capitals have been destroyed by dust, snow and weeds."
People give people more troubles. Others give you a little face, are unfriendly to you, and give you some sanctions, and you will suffer.
Even if everything is fine on the outside, your body and mind will surprise you from time to time, letting you know who is in charge.
People struggle all their lives, but they are only dealing with nature, others and themselves. People always try to live in harmony with them. Of course, some people like to get along in a way of struggle.
I never envy how well other people are doing, it's all appearances. He doesn't have such unsatisfactory, there will be such unsatisfactory. If you don't think there's anything wrong with him, you're not getting into his life.
Whenever I see someone showing off his beauty in the circle of friends, I will say in my heart, "It's good, keep going!", because I know that it's not easy for him, he has gone through so much pain, There is this moment of joy.
In human life, there is no once and for all, only endless trials and tribulations.
French philosopher Marcel Stephens said: "In life, the so-called state of ease is only a temporary 'truce', it is a prelude to peace, a dashed line drawn in pleasure and time."
Don't try to solve one thing, you can get the comfort of the fantasy, in the long run, you have to get along with the whole world.
2. People are inherently lonely
Humans are lonely from birth to death.
Because everyone has their own system, and often incompatible.
Sometimes, your pain is not only not felt by others, but will be rejected and resentful, thinking that you are hypocritical, acting, nonsense, crazy, or even deserved.
Sometimes, your ideas are not only not accepted by others, but also criticized, saying that you are naive, hypocritical, cunning, and have ulterior motives.
People often say: "If you are not my race, your heart will be different."
And many people's heart is: "Those who are not me, their hearts will be different."
No matter how full the communication between people is, it is just the semaphore of two giant ships on the sea. All languages are but symbols.
People's own problems, in the end, depend on themselves.
Bingbo Fairy Tale: The Lonely Little Crab
3. Time will pass faster than you think
Don't wait, try to create time to do what you like.
If you think there's a lot of time left, it's usually an illusion, and I assure you, there will be less time than you think.
Time will soon leave you with no more time to do it.
Yu Minhong said that I still have 10,000 books at home. When I am not working, I can read them slowly.
I promise you: he will never read those 10,000 books. Because he will always work.
If we're not careful, we're too old to do things.
"We live as if we'd never die, and we die as if we've never lived."
"We originally came to this world because we had to come, and we finally left this world because we had to go. - Yu Hua, "To Live"
What most people strive for in life is not to regret when they have to go.
Figure | "Father Trapped in Time"
4. Everything you will get is yours
When you feel that it is not appropriate to blame others, you can think of this sentence in "The Spring and Autumn of the Temple".
If you think about it, this sentence is always true.
Whether it's your achievements or your failures.
Although, when we ask for it, we do not have the ability to discern and control.
A mature person always realizes that even if it is someone else's fault, he cannot say he is not responsible.
5. Make decisions, right or wrong
Even making the wrong decision is better than indecision, which is more disastrous.
"In any given moment of decision, the best thing you can do is do the right thing, the second best thing is to do the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is do nothing at all Do."
The greatest benefit of doing wrong things is that you can learn lessons and not make them again. This kind of self-awareness cannot be obtained without making mistakes.
Almost all valuable experience is learned by stepping on the pit.
In this case, it is always good to be decisive. People should train themselves to be good at making decisions (Be decisive.).
“Be decisive. A wrong decision is generally less disastrous than indecision. —Bernhard Langer, https://nngorok.com/about"
"The central government has already given instructions for the New Fourth Army's military headquarters to hang in southern Anhui. On December 26, Mao Zedong couldn't bear it any longer, and sent a message to Xiang, Zhou, and Yuan with unusually severe words: "The central government will give you the policy a year ago, that is, to Xiang, Zhou and Yuan. North and behind enemy lines, but you always use excuses to not execute. ""There is no place in the country where you are hesitant, hesitant, helpless and determined. "Exactly what you advocate, whether you advocate procrastination or go, seems to be uncertain and directionless, and you will suffer a great loss in the future. "
"It's right to have a collective meeting to discuss and make decisions on major events in the army, but in a battlefield where fighter planes are fleeting, every second counts, this meeting will be open from 3:00 p.m. to dark, and it will be wordy, endless, and always formative. I couldn't make a decision, I couldn't make up my mind. Seeing that it was not over at ten o'clock in the evening, Ye Ting couldn't sit still, and said angrily to Xiang Ying: 'Time is victory, you can't hesitate, you can't be without determination. My attitude Yes, I also obey the wrong determination. Now let Deputy Commander Xiang decide, and you can do whatever you decide.'"
"Under this circumstance, Ye Ting was fully in charge of the Yan'an emergency command force, and he was determined to break through the encirclement. The sad Ye Ting, after being the commander of the army for three years, finally at this moment had his first possession as a commander who should have been there long ago. It is a pity that it is too late! It is too late! The ammunition and food are exhausted, the soldiers and horses are scarce, and the enemy's encirclement has become like an iron barrel, and who can have the power to return to the sky? What? In the end, only 1,000 people from the southern Anhui army of more than 9,000 broke out in pieces, and most of them suffered losses.
—Niu Ge, "Southern Anhui Incident" 1
6. Don’t let important things become urgent
There is a classic time management concept: do the important things first, then do the urgent things.
In fact, this doesn't work at all. If something is urgent, it must be important. I rarely see urgent but unimportant things. For example, if you are about to miss your flight, it is very difficult to catch a flight. important; or you are in a hurry to go to the toilet, can you say it is not important?
What really helps is this sentence: Don't let what's important become urgent.
If you keep this quote in your mind, you'll be thankful for it.
I have been fortunate several times: fortunately, I finished this work yesterday, and there is definitely no time to put it on today.
Another time management concept is: do the important things first, then the fun things. That's true, but it's better to have a combination of the two: turn the important into the interesting (as craftsmen and nerds generally have the ability), or, the interesting into the important (as artists generally have the ability to do) this ability).
7. Looking for a person to "look at the face"
The Gouldian finch is a bird that lives in the vast forests of Australia with its recognizable, colourful feathers on its body.
This bird usually lives less than three years, and it has a very clear standard for how to choose its mate: look at the face.
They rely heavily on male finches' head hair color (usually only red or black) to choose their mates, and each female finches is looking for a boyfriend who "looks like" her own.
Unfortunately, in the rainbow finches, the proportion of individuals with two head colors is uneven between males and females, which makes some female rainbow finches have to face a dilemma - either accept a husband who is not a good bird, or keep it. Zhen in the end.
And those female rainbow finches who did not find the ideal type and finally gave in, had cortisol levels 3-4 times higher than other rainbow finches, and even laid eggs much slower. Even if the offspring are successfully hatched, the mortality of offspring of mixed pairs is 40%-80% higher than that of parents of the same color.
It can be said that the Rainbow Sparrow who has not found an ideal mate is very unsatisfactory.
rainbow finches
"You've probably heard of 'Opposites Attract', which means that we are more likely to like someone with different qualities than ourselves, a concept coined in the 1950s by sociologist Robert Francis Winch. Winch), and it has been widely disseminated for more than 70 years. According to surveys, nearly 80% of the world's people think so. However, there is almost no scientific evidence to prove the authenticity of this conclusion. On the contrary, more Research found that we are actually more attracted to people who are similar to us.” 2
To a large extent, people are looking for their own kind.
The research paper published in the "Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences" (PNAS) pointed out: Compared with two people who are randomly paired, the genetic similarity between spouses will also be higher, and this high similarity also appears in the relationship. between close friends.
Probably everyone will have a subconscious mind of "not my race, their hearts must be different"?
Scientists explain it this way: Humans have experienced a life of co-hunting and drinking blood, and have experienced plagues caused by population movement. It is often a safe and secure choice to choose the same kind and live together. Similarity implies a better understanding of each other, while differences imply unknowns and possible threats.
People with similar personalities get along much better than people with different personalities, at least not so difficult to understand each other.
So some people say that nerd can only be a spouse with nerd.
The differences we admire may be differences based on similarities in personality, not total differences.
"We are attracted to each other because we see in them what we desire and lack, and we want to grow with each other."
Text｜Wei Jianvan
https://zhuanlan.zhihu.com/p/157949208