也许我们并不认为自己的谈话方式是“暴力”的，但我们的语言确实常常引发自己和他人的痛苦。
后来，我发现了一种沟通方式，依照它来谈话和倾听，能使我们情意相通，乐于互助。
我称之为“非暴力沟通”。
What empowers us so that we can care for life in the worst circumstances? What inspires me is someone like Aiti Helen. Even though she was imprisoned in a German inhumane concentration camp, she was still tender. In the diary, she wrote:
“我不会轻易害怕。
那不是我勇敢，而是我知道，他们也是人，我必须用心理解他们的行为。今天上，那个性情粗暴的年轻盖世太保冲我吼叫，我没有生气，而是关心他。
我想问：＇你的童年很不开心吗？女友抛弃你了吗？＇
他看起来愁眉苦脸、躁动不安、阴沉而又虚弱。我当时就想帮助他。他那么痛苦，一旦为所欲为，是多么危险！”
－艾提·海勒申：日记一则
Here I borrow the term "non-violence" used by Gandhi to refer to the love that naturally emerges after the violence subsides.
Life choices
When we sincerely help others, our desire to enrich the lives of others is fulfilled. Our actions are out of heartfelt joy. Such giving benefits both the giver and the recipient. Because the giver does not give out of fear, guilt or shame, nor is it to get anything; the recipient gets the gift, but there is no psychological burden. At the same time, the giver will appreciate himself more because of the value of his actions.
The use of non-violent communication does not require the target of communication to be familiar with non-violent communication or be kind to us. If we follow the principle of non-violent communication, are willing to help each other, and show that that is the
only motivation, then others will join us and eventually form a good interaction. I am not
saying that this situation will always come soon. But I am sure,As long as we abide by the principles and methods of non-violent communication, the flowers of friendship will blossom in our hearts.
*****Elements of nonviolent communication (summary only)
The process of nonviolent communication
- What is my observation (observation)
- How do i feel (feeling)
- What needs cause that feeling (needs)
- In order to improve my life, what is my request (request)
summary
Nonviolent communication reminds us to focus on each other's observations, feelings, needs and requests. It encourages listening, nurtures respect and love, makes us affectionate and willing to help each other.Some people use it to improve interpersonal relationships, while others use it to improve their work. Around the world, nonviolent communication is used to coordinate disputes and conflicts at all levels.
ps: The application case of non-violent communication is not published here, and interested friends can go to the original text.