Usually a logical framework with a clear story, we could not help but let devoured. The following story from "The pyramid principle * actual articles"
I am a cool yet sane person, keen, careful planning, thoughtful, smart, alert. My brain as powerful as a dynamo, as precise as chemical equipment, as sharp as a scalpel. And I was eighteen years old.
So young has such intellectual is quite rare. Take my roommate at the University of Minnesota potatoe Birch, we are the same age, same background, but he was stupid like with the cow. You know, he was pretty addition, the head empty. He was very emotional, volatile temper, the worst love the pursuit of fashion. And fashion, I have to say, it is most lacking in intellectual performance. He will be conquered any new trends, like an idiot, seeing new things to go with, just because others do the same. For me, this is a complete idiot. But potatoe does not agree.
One afternoon, I found potatoe lying in bed, his face a painful expression, I immediately determined that he had appendicitis. I said: "Do not move, do not eat laxatives, I went to the doctor."
"Raccoon" he growled!.
"Raccoon?" Going out I stopped.
"I want a raccoon coat." He wailed.
I found that his problem is not physical, but psychological. "Why do you want a raccoon coat?"
"I should have know." He cried, side pounding temples. "I should have known when the Charleston dance popular again, raccoon coat will become so. I Bensi, put all the money spent on textbooks, and now these days, can not afford a raccoon coat."
"you mean," I did not understand: "? raccoon coat starting to come back"
.? "All campus celebrity friends will wear you just go ' ."
library, "I said not a campus celebrity too faceless place.
He jumped up from the bed, pacing up and down in the room. "I got to have a raccoon coat." He said firmly: "! Can not get non"
?. "Potatoe,
"You do not understand," he impatiently interrupted me: "This is the right thing, you do not want to catch this trend it?"
"Do not want" I'm honest.
"Oh, I wish," he said, "I am willing to take everything in exchange for a raccoon coat, anything."
My mind immediately as precision instruments to the highest speed. "What's all right?" I asked, one side looked at him carefully.
"What will do!" He said categorically.
I stroked my chin thoughtfully. Very good, I know that how can I get a raccoon coat. I had a father in college, and now it lay in a box on the home attic. I think potatoe happen to have the same thing I dreamed of. In fact, he has not really, but at least he had first rights. I mean his girlfriend Polly Espy.
I love that she has for a long time. I would like to stress that my love for the girl is not a whim. Of course, she is a very sexy girl, but I'm not going to let my heart to dominate my thoughts. I want to get Polly is carefully calculated, it is completely out of rational decisions.
I am a first-year law school students, a few years will enter social work. I know very well marry a suitable wife for future career will be much help. I have observed many successful lawyers, they invariably have married a beautiful, elegant, intelligent woman. Polly is almost fully in line with the conditions, except for only one thing.
She was very beautiful, although there is no perfect body proportions, but I believe that time will make up her shortcomings. She already good.
As for her grace, I mean, she was covered in very elegant. Tall and straight body, graceful, could see very educated. Her meals are also very particular about etiquette. I've seen her eat that day at school
The specials (a kind of sandwich, there are a few pieces of grilled meat, juicy, and some chopped nuts and pickles), barely touches her hand sauces.
However, she is not clever, in fact, the opposite can be said smart. But I believe that, under my tune, she will become smart. In any case, it is worth a try. After all, take a beautiful BenGirl smarter, much easier than the ugly girl becomes a clever and beautiful.
"Potatoe," I asked: "Are you in love with Polly yet?"
"I think she's a smart girl," he replied:. "But I do not know if you would call this feeling love why are you so ? he asks " "
you, "I asked:" and she had any formal agreement I mean, you are now very stable yet?? " "
we met and did not meet each other but also with all the others. Dating how the "? "
her, "I asked:"? other boys like it. " "
I do not know, why do you ask? "
I nodded with satisfaction:" in other words, if you quit, others have a chance, do not you? " "
I suppose so, what do you mean? " "
nothing, nothing. "I casually said, as he took out a box from my wardrobe.
"Where are you going?" Potatoe asked.
"Home for the weekend." I took some clothes thrown into the trunk.
"Listen," he clutched my arm and said: "? You go back, can not take some money from your dad lent me where I want to buy a raccoon coat."
"I could have done more good. "I blinked mystery to him, and then covered the box and went out.
Came back Monday morning, potatoe I said: "Look!." I flung open the box, a mast, hairy, exudes the smell of the stuff has come out, this is my father's passing in 1925, a raccoon coat.
"Thank God!" Potatoe said very reverently. He stroking the coat, then his face into it. "Thank God!" He shouts at least 15 to 20 times.
"Do you like it?" I asked him.
"Oh, of course." He cried, greasy coat tightly in his arms. At this time his face appeared in a skeptical expression: "What you want me to change?"
"Your girlfriend," I will not say nonsense.
"? Polly" He was shocked and said: "You want Polly?"
"Yes."
He put the coat aside and said firmly:. "Impossible"
I shrugged and said: "Well, if you do not want fashion, that is your thing. "
I sat down, pretending to read a book, but peripheral vision concept Chapo Tai response. He will not be a strong person. At first he looked at the coat, revealing a bakery window looked like a tramp look, and then he turned firmly teeth, then looked at the coat, with a more eager expression. He then turned around, this time, his face resolute expression seemed to relax a bit. Turning his head back and forth, the desire to enhance, will weaken. Finally, he just stared at the coat look, his face filled with longing.
"Polly and I really love," he said vaguely: "We have not decided between, or any similar commitment." "That's
right," I whispered!.
"Whether Polly to me, or me for Polly ......" he said.
"Have nothing to do." I said.
"Just general dealings, we laugh nothing."
"Try it." I said.
Which he did. Coat collar high and his ears and dropped it down to the vamp. He looks like a pile of dead raccoons. "Very fit." He said he was pleased.
I stood up and asked him: "It's a deal?" And stretching out my hand.
He gulped: "work hand in hand." He shook my hand back.
The next night, I and Polly began on the first date. The appointment means that with a little investigation. I want to know, take her mind raised to the level I want to, how much time have to charge. First of all, I took her to dinner. "Gosh, really delicious!" We left the restaurant when she said so. Then, I took her to the movies. "My God, awesome movie!" She'd said when we left the cinema. Finally, I took her home. "Gosh, really happy tonight!" She said to me when goodnight.
I walked back to the room with a heavy heart, I obviously I seriously underestimated the amount of work. This lack of knowledge of the extent of the girl than I expected. If only increase
Her knowledge of the amount is probably not enough, she must first learn how to think. And this does not seem simple. I really want her back potatoe, but think of the allure of her body, and her style when walking into a restaurant, and she took a knife and fork, I decided to give it a try.
Just like everything else, I will pre-planned. I'm going to give her a course in logic. I was in this course, you want to teach the content is very familiar with. "Polly," When I picked her up a second date with her, said: "Tonight we went to the hill over there and chat."
"Great," she answered me. I really want to tell her: "You're really find a good discussion of who can be difficult."
We came to the hill, which is school dating resort. We sat under an old oak tree, she eagerly looked at me and asked: "? What are we going to talk about,"
"Logic."
She thought for a moment and decided like this topic. "Very good." She said.
"Logic," I cleared my throat, said: "... Is the science of thinking before we think correctly, you must learn to recognize the fallacy of the general logic of this is that we want to talk about tonight's topic"
"wow woo"! she cheered, clapping her hands delightedly side.
I winced, and then they bravely continued: "First of all, let us look at the first fallacy: sloppy premise (Dicto simpliciter)."
"Fast start it," she winked look forward to.
"Sloppy premise means that the discussion is inappropriate induction generated for example, exercise is a good thing, so everyone should exercise.."
"I agree," Polly jerkily went on to say: "My . meaning that the movement is great Yeah, it can make the body more healthy what, " "
Polly, "I said gently:" this kind of reasoning is wrong 'movement is a good thing' is wrong summarized for example,. If you have heart disease, exercise is not a good thing. there are many patients can not therefore be asked sports doctor. you have summarized properly. you can say, sports in general are beneficial to the human body, or sports for most people is good, or you would commit a fallacy of hasty premise. Savvy? "
"Do not understand," she frankly admitted: ". But it is very interesting, please carefully talk about"
. "If When she stopped the action, and I just went on. "Next we want to talk about is over-generalized (Hasty Generalization). Listen carefully, you do not speak French, I do not speak French, potatoe not speak French. So the conclusion is that no one will be the University of Minnesota say . text "" really? "Polly was surprised and said:" no one would? "
I tried to suppress anger:." Polly, this reasoning is wrong at this conclusion too quickly, because the burden of proof examples insufficient to support such a conclusion. " "
do you know more fallacies? "she asked eagerly:." this is more than dancing even. "
I try not to despair, I took this girl is no way, absolutely no Method. But if I do not continue to work hard, the will has done nothing. So I continued: ".. Another misuse causal (Post Hoc) Listen to this example, we do not look for Bill picnic will take him to every time it rains."
"I know someone like this," she cried : "we have a girl home - Eula Becker is so, without exception, every time we take her on a picnic ......."
"Polly," I interrupted her!. "It is wrong to say. Eula Becker does not bring rain, rain has nothing to do with her. If you blame her, you are guilty of the fallacy of misuse of cause and effect."
"I will not do it," she said with regret: "you're angry with me right?"
I sighed deeply:. "no, Polly, I'm not mad at you"
. "then tell me some more fallacies." "Well,
there is also a contradictory premise (contradictory Premises). " "
well, let us continue. "she said with jumping, then happily blinked.
I frowned, continued: "? There is a very well-known example of the contradictions on the premise - if God omnipotent, he can create his stones do not move."
"Of course." She immediately replied.
"But if he could do anything, he should be able to carry it rocks." I reminded her.
"Yes," she said wistfully: "Well, then I think he should not create such a stone. ' "
But he is omnipotent, "I reminded her again.
She scratched the beautiful and empty head. "I'm confused." She recognized as such.
"Of course you will be confused, because if conflicting assumptions, such an inference should not exist. If there is omnipotent God, there would not move the stones. If you have not move the stone, there would be no God Almighty. Savvy? " "
tell me some more ideas so cool it. "she said eagerly.
I looked at my watch and said:. "I think we've said all night, and now I will send you back, you can then think about what was just heard, tomorrow night we'll talk."
I sent her to the women's dormitory door. She told me earnestly, she had a great night, but I was glumly back to my room. Potatoe had fallen down on the bed snoring loudly, raccoon coat huddled like a hairy beast crouched at his feet. I was tempted to shake him, tell him I wanted his girlfriend back to him. The situation could not be clearer, my plan is doomed to fail. This girl is no logical concept.
But I thought, I've wasted a night, I probably would not waste another night. But who knows? Maybe in her mind the silence of the crater, there is more than some of the fire is still there, maybe I can stir up trouble some. Admittedly, even some dim prospects, I decided to try again.
The next night we sat under the oak. I said:. "The first fallacy we are saying today is that infiltration plus sympathy (Ad Misericordiam)"
Her trembling with excitement.
"Listen carefully," I said: "There is a person job interview, the interviewer asked his background qualifications he replied that he had a wife, six children and his wife is a cripple, the children have nothing to eat, no clothes and shoes to wear. , the family had no beds, no firewood in the fireplace, and winter is coming. "
Polly's face tears. "Oh, too bad." She could not help but sob.
"Yes ah, really bad." I agree. "But this is the whole answer is no argument at all, because he did not answer each other's questions. Instead, he resorted to the other side of compassion. In this way he committed the fallacy infiltration plus sympathy you understand yet? " "
do you have a handkerchief? "she sobbed.
I handed her a handkerchief, then wipe her tears at the same time, they want to restrain the desire to live screaming. "Then," I have to endure extreme tone, said: "We have to discuss the fault simulation (False Analogy) Here is an example: Students should be able to refer the examination when the textbook, after all, a surgeon surgery when you can see X-rays. ? briefs to debate in court piece, lawyers, carpenters also need a blueprint to build a house, then why can not the students at exam time reference textbook " "
wow! "she eagerly said:" this is what I have heard over the years . the coolest opinion " "
Polly, "I said impatiently:" this argument is false doctors, lawyers, carpenters do not need to pass the exam to know how much they have learned, but students are required, the situation of the two. is completely different, can not be confused. " "
I still think it is a good idea. "Polly said.
"Oh, kind of stupid." I muttered. But I'm still trying to convince myself to continue to go on: "Next is the fact that the opposite assumption (Hypothesis Contrary to Fact)."
"Sounds interesting," Polly response.
"Listen, if Madame Curie had not happened to leave a photo negatives in a drawer containing pitchblende's, and today no one will know the existence of uranium."
"Yes, yes," Polly side nodded as she replied: "?.. have you seen that movie yet Oh, really touched me Walter Pidgeon performing too well."
"If you can temporarily forget about skin Kim," I said coldly. : "I will tell you this is wrong Maybe Madame Curie would be discussed only after the discovery of uranium, maybe someone else will find it, and maybe some other things will happen that you can not start with a false assumption, then expect from. . get the right conclusion. " "
they should let Walter Pidgeon is more drama, "Polly said:" I was never to see him again. "
I decided to give her one last chance, just once. Flesh and blood there is always a breaking point. "The next fallacy is the well poisoned (Poisoning the Well)."
"There are two people in the debate first person stood up and said: 'My opponent is a notorious liar, he said you can not believe' Now, Polly, please think hard to think a think that the middle have any questions? "
I stared at her in her tight frown thinking, and suddenly a light of wisdom flashed in her eyes. "It's not fair," she said with indignation: "It is not fair that before the second person to speak, the first person to say what he is.
A liar. "
" I got it! "I said excitedly:" one hundred percent correct. This really is not fair, before you start drinking, no one able to poison the well water. He can not until the opponent has no openings on the first Tiaoduan his hamstring. Polly, I'm proud for you. "
" Call. "She was relieved, happy face was red.
" My dear, you see, these things are not hard to do, you need to do is to concentrate, think carefully, then test some, and finally evaluate. OK, now let's review has learned. "
" Continue, continue. "She waved his hand and said.
Polly is not mental retardation, by this incentive, I began patiently to all the things I would teach her. I have been an example son, pointing out the fallacy, continued practicing until no mistakes. I like digging a channel, beginning to do is stop digging, and sweaty work in the dark. I do not know when we can see the light, or if you can see. but I keep it down , kept digging, finally paid off. I saw the light, and this light is growing, and finally the sun flooded in, everything is bathed in the light in.
it took five nights, overwhelmed me, , but this is worth it. I have become a logical expert Polly, she taught me to think, my task was reached. Finally, her performance finally prove I did it worth it. for me, she is a good target, is my future mistress of many industries, is the mother of my child right.
so I can not love her. on the contrary, as the Greek myth of Pygmalion fell in love with him shaped by End American Women statue, I fell in love with Polly. I decided the next time I met expression of love, it is that our relationship into a romantic academic.
"Polly," then we sat under the oak I said: "tonight we talk about logic. "
" Oh. "She said, somewhat disappointed.
" Honey, "I smiled at her, said:" We have been dating for five nights, our great progress, obviously we go very well. "
" Over-generalization. "Polly is very clever answer.
"I beg your pardon?" I said.
"Over-generalization." She repeated: "Only five times dating, how can you judge us on this very match."
I'm glad she had such a reaction, the children learn very well. "Honey," I patiently patting her hand and said: ".. Five days already a lot, after all, you do not need to eat a whole cake to know that it is very tasty,"
"fault simulation," Polly immediate response: " I am not a cake, I was a girl. "
I do not have just the joy of this child may learn a lot better too. I decided to change tactics. And the best way is obviously simple, strong, direct expression of my love. I paused, waiting for my brain to come up with clever right word, then I said:
"Polly, I love you, for me, you're my whole world, including the moon, the stars and the galaxy dear. Please contact me promise that if you refuse, my life would be meaningless. I would be very depressed, can not eat, can only be wandering around, become faltering, his eyes sunken shell. "
then I arms crossed, waiting for her answer.
"Infiltration plus sympathy." Polly said.
I ground my teeth, I'm not Pygmalion, I was Frankenstein Frankenstein! I almost almost mad. I strongly suppressed anger was aroused. To achieve this, I still have to stay calm.
"Well, Polly," I grimaced a smile and said, "It appears that you have to pass the logic." "You're
right." She nodded seriously.
"So who taught you, Polly?"
"Do you teach."
"Yes, dear, so this way you owe me some what, is not it? If not me, you absolutely can not learn those reasoning . "
" suppose the contrary to fact. "she replied immediately.
I wiped the sweat from his brow, "Polly," I can not help but complain:.. "You can not take everything literally explain what I mean, these are classroom knowledge they belong to, you know, school and learn your real life has little to do. "
"Sloppy premise." She said, I have a face shaking her index finger.
Oh annoy me. I jump to foot, like a bullfight roar: "? In the end you would be willing to fix a date with me."
"Reluctant." She replied.
"Why?" I pressed her.
"Because this afternoon I have promised potatoe, to associate with him."
I withdrew it, her words completely defeated. Potatoe promised me that he and I had agreed, we shook hands. "! The bastard," I can not help shouting out, kicking up a large turf. "You can not go with him, Polly, he is a liar, he is a scoundrel,"
"poison the well," Polly said: "Please do not yelled at me, I want to roar a fallacy too. "
I repressed anger with strong willpower, adjusted the volume. "Well," I said: "You are an expert logic, let us calmly look at it how you would choose potatoe not vote for me look at me, I was a bright student, a knowledge? molecule, there is a bright future for man. look at potatoe, his mind not as good as me, and capricious, never know where the next meal. can you give me a good reason why you chose potatoe ? "
" Sure, "Polly said:" he's got a raccoon coat. "
【出处】
MAX SHULMAN
The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis
Harold Matson Company Inc., 1951