Everyone will have negative emotions, anger is a common thing, but sometimes because of anger lead to serious trouble is that we need to avoid.
Psychology was mentioned negative emotions kick the cat effect that is brought about a vicious circle: the chairman of a company reorganization order all the affairs of the company, promised that he would return early evening. Suddenly, once he read newspapers and watch too fascinated and even lose track of time, in order not to be late, he was speeding on the highway, the result was the police a ticket, or missed the last time.
The Lao Dong extremely angry, when back in the office, in order to divert people's mind, he will sell his office manager reprimanded some. After Sales Manager Aixun, Lao Dong angrily out of the office, the secretary called his office and he was picky about it. Secretary of the reason being picky, nature is an angry, deliberately pick on the operator. He returned home dejected operator helpless, furious against his son. After being denounced his son somehow, and very angry father put their house cat kick with his foot.
This is the effect of negative emotions emotional impulses generated, ultimately, a series of vicious circle. Generally speaking, they can not effectively control their negative emotions often lead to runs the risk, so learn to regulate their own negative emotions of great help for us to live relationships or just living there.
1, Why do we get angry, very important reason is that we prefrontal control
Psychology found that our emotions are controlled by the prefrontal, frontal brain negative emotions generated could have been a positive behavior, to protect our lives, avoid danger and some kind of stress means, but with human progress and development our living environment has been greatly improved, many times we do not necessarily need life insurance, but we did not follow the evolution of the prefrontal, but still control our brains, especially in attack, it becomes very irrational a.
2. Know your emotional brain is how it works
Find out how your brain forehead work, we can form a clear understanding of emotions, a lot of times we were to go with the mood, because we do not recognize what emotions are, at this time often means that we have been to control their emotions, only to jump out, we know there is a way you can suppress it.
Generally speaking, angry words and deeds only explicit our emotions, emotional management as well as a model iceberg, the iceberg model means behind our emotions are controlled by the faith, but faith and where they come from, from our childhood living environment and past experience, they have become our conditions, procedures, once the breach of faith with us, angered us.
Take, for example, one of my friends often quarrel with her husband, and is a big reason chores, washing dishes every time she saw her husband motionless in the living room inside, very angry, systematic reflection behind her is her feel housework should be two people shared that she grew up seeing their parents environment is such division; and her husband grow their family environment is primarily the mother bear, so he thought it should be borne by the chores of women, because each other different belief systems, resulting in emotional response patterns are different.
3, the emotional brain to understand how others are running
Why do we always say quarrel between husband and wife, each person has their own reasons, the public that goes rational po po said. In fact, this means that each person has their own set of emotional system, so on the one hand we need to understand what their emotions behind belief system, on the other hand we also need to understand in depth what your belief system behind emotional communication objects Yes.
As previously mentioned, husband and wife, if the husband can stand his wife's point of view and her emotional pattern, found her family grew up mode, there will be a new understanding of his wife, so that two people get more understanding each other and support possible, rather than each other different opinions, disputes continue.
4. Do not cling to know each other right and wrong, more is deepened by emotion.
From within the system point of view, everyone has their own internal belief systems, belief systems no right or wrong, as we have this attitude of emotions, there is no right or wrong feelings, emotions and life forms part of our body, but to go through the emotions to identify themselves, to see the others, this is our ultimate goal, we need more is found in different emotional stress mode when you and I, still calm but also good communication, good common ground with each other, this is the emotional management the ultimate purpose of the master.
5, think about their own negative emotions consequences and influence, often remind myself
If you know their emotions kick cats can produce a vicious circle effect, so when we get angry, we must also think once we get angry, what are the consequences is that when you are doing one thing he can think clearly the result of what is our behavior can be gradually brought under control.
Only you the right to treat emotions as your old friend, can we truly live in harmony with each other, you can become a master of his own life.
Author: Hugh Xun
link: https: //www.jianshu.com/p/9efb5ae30dea
Source: Jane books
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