Not books, but routine.
5 small routine, teach you quickly have the same strain as Huang Bo EQ!
If you selected the three highest EQ of people in the entertainment business, Huang Bo is certainly one of them.
Huang Bo on many occasions, in the face of questions to make things difficult, the answers are rated as grade textbook, gave the audience a lot of surprises.
Such as dialogue with the small S in the program.
For example, reporters asked if he could replace answer when Ge.
For example, in a ceremony with Eric Tsang ridicule each other.
Huang Bo high emotional intelligence, stunning. So, as a person, how you could have the same resilience as he does?
I have summarized five small routines (there are more, write no less) so that you can have at a critical moment like Huang Bo-like strain of emotional intelligence.
1. woe.
This move is mainly to deal with situations in people, individual people are familiar with, a simple praise or disparage you are not serious.
A lot of people when it is praise or disparage others, the first response is always the other side, then go down the answer, either modest denied, either directly refute.
For example: wow, you wear this dress so nice today.
Normal answer (doing humble face): No, no you, okay.
This answer is a kind of emotional intelligence in general performance, because then, will continue to fall into a compliment, a continuing Qianci mode, so you become binding, could not equal dialogue.
In the eyes of many, you are not cheerful no confidence.
And someone else to talk to you, not just to praise you, more in order to communicate.
There is a mutual exchange dealings, others praise you makes you happy, but you have not let other people happy?
So people with high emotional intelligence may be the other side smiled and replied: Really? Haha, you really high vision. Or: Thank you, today you hair is also good, very temperament Oh ...... and so on, the answer varies depending, according to bilateral relations, the atmosphere and other occasions, there is no absolute standard.
But a routine nature can not escape, that is: the other to pull off.
This is called sharing weal and woe.
A man praise you or damage you, in essence, he is the role of a judge referee, whether you admit or refute, are in the image of their own maintenance or construction, no one wants their image damaged.
But in some Paradox, whether you admit or deny statements, it will be counterproductive.
Moreover, the exchange should take care of each other, and sometimes other people want to hear your intention is not serious about a long explanation, people just find topics lively atmosphere, tease you about it.
So the best strategy is to also pull the other end, the role of the players pulled from the referee's role, so that both praised each other's default, would like to tell each other. If the person is derogatory to you, you are a team, he also subtly derogatory himself.
Textbook Case 1:
In luyu on, Lu Yu asked: Huang Bo considerable fire, is not it now?
Huang Bo smiled A: That is certainly the fire, you can sit here and think about the chat with Lu Yu, can not fire you?
This dialogue Huang Bo answered no doubt quite beautiful, but if he just admitted, but did not pull the other end, saying only that: it is certainly the fire.
You can imagine this scene will be like?
Textbook Case 2:
At a ceremony, Huang Bo and Eric Tsang ridicule.
Eric: I really want to tell you Huang brother, because you let me know, that I really can not sing on the screen, even if only as a hosted, had a singing in the ugly face in the screen which is very sad and you just inspired me.
Huang Bo: Really? Right right right, actually, we encourage each other, I was a kid never thought to do this trip, then I thought, you can take the actor Eric Tsang, who am I not?
Eric Tsang laugh: So you finally come, right?
Huang Bo: Right, so idol for our impact is enormous, like a child of Adam, grow up to become a F4, small like Eric Tsang, grew up to become me.
This dialogue is undoubtedly very classic, classic in the fact that Huang Bo did not go down, then excuse, but the two men bound together, my bad, have your reasons.
Real case 1:
Newcomers to a new place to work, due to the unskilled in the business will be subject to older employees wait to see. I once encountered such a situation, the new company was assigned to a foursome to do things. As the business are not familiar with, always despise, also a female colleague complain that I was a sucker.
Heard these words most people hate to go back either directly, causing quarrels. Either hold endured their own uncomfortable and unpopular in mind. But this is not the best way, is not conducive to the promotion of unity, after all, we are the team.
So I half-jokingly said: What kind of person was in what kind of team do things Well, you said I was a sucker, that is not saying that this team is a team sucker ah?
Having female colleagues and that the other two could not help laughing, and then I went on to say: People other teams, was scolded several others are still guarding, to your own people good shout came from their own people we are a team, this is not giving the thing a joke.
Since then, that female colleagues complain about it since I had the patience to teach me a lot do not understand, we get along with no ill feelings, the relationship is getting better.
Real case 2:
Or a female colleague (not above that, is not the same company), with people always love to pick up the language on the web joke, hate people very much, and once a few people sitting together to do things, I do not know how to mess with her, she cried me and said: xxx, if I was pregnant pig house, it must be your doing.
I shot from the side smile: What if you are pregnant then? (The implication is I did)
Everyone (including herself) all at once laugh.
This is to use emotional intelligence to speak of woe law, if I did not pull the other end also, it is hard to cope with this problem.
Or hurt each other, or lose himself. EQ strain, on the surface appears to be lip service, bickering, but the biggest difference is that the former does not cause a rift, is a good result-oriented, and pure bickering is likely to lead to unhappiness.
2. No direct answer.
This routine is mainly used in others let you do the dilemma of time (on both sides are important, as both sides are heavyweight client, the characters are not offended).
For example, the most classic of all men the most headaches can also make one question: If your mother and your girlfriend while out of the water, you will first save Who?
This problem no matter how the election is a pit, you seriously lose. So in this issue, first of strategy and tactics is: Can undefeated is to win, not thinking about the color. Trying to answer this question is pretty unlikely, but only to pass, do not leave the handle on the line. If you're really forced to, we must answer is that each boast about it, to avoid off focus.
Textbook Case 1:
Once, a reporter asked Huang Bo: Gao Yuanyuan and Lin Chi-ling in the end who is more beautiful?
Huang Bo: usually they hear names of two people will have a sense of vertigo, and now all of a sudden you say two people is severe vertigo.
The answer undoubtedly is to avoid the topic, never step on the pit, do not step on that pit pass.
Textbook Case 2:
Small s asked Huang Bo: If I fell into the sea and Lin Chi-ling, who you want to save? (Huang Bo requirements must be answered)
Huang Bo: save save ...... of course, are saved, if only to save a word ......
Small s: can only save one, the other one is certain death ......
Huang Bo hesitated rid small s
Small s: You save Lin Chi-ling why, I ask you ......
Huang Bo: It is not. You should first save, of course, you should first save.
Small s: how to say?
Huang Bo: Because Lin Chi-ling tall relatively high, she may themselves out of the water, because the height of this has come to you.
Small s: you I think that my short, short before you, you gave me out of the station. You gave me to stand up ......
Huang Bo: But you good proportion. do you know?
Small s immediately laughed.
Real case:
In fact, this question I have only been asked twice, the first time ever and not a girlfriend broke up, she asked me: if I and your mother at the same time out of the water, you will first save Who?
I began to seriously think for a long time, silly answer: Who rescued who tried to get near.
She 'Oh,' a cry, but it was obviously not satisfied, then I try to save, he said: tomorrow I will take you to learn how to swim, if no such friends.
She was still not satisfied, because the core of her do not care about this.
Later met a second girlfriend also asked me this question, I would never answer directly, but to boast of her appearance, and said solemnly: I will not let that happen, so you beauty, skin so white, so thin legs, I'm afraid you are not for me out of the water to rescue ah, it was rescued by others.
She could not resist a sip laugh or two, but also put the topic fool passed.
Of course, this is a dialogue in the case of two people, and if there is a third party in front of your mother and your girlfriend ask this question it? (Template you can imagine to, in front of your friends or clients two important do you want to select.)
This time we should use each boast some of the routine, and if someone asked me, I would say that probably means: My mother has always been a very kind person, a good person, good heart, it will help people sake, so if I and his girlfriend walking in the water, she will not close, you ask the question will not happen to me.
Including my girlfriend, her biggest advantage is not embarrassing, so she will not let this happen.
3. deliberately misinterpreted.
This move is the core of the fool, deceitful. When words can not talk in deliberately looking for topics. It can also be used when it comes to the privacy of someone else's question, when you do not want to answer truthfully.
This will play a very good role circumvent or change the subject and cause a great sense of humor.
For example, people ask you: this month made a lot of it?
A: "Yes ah, I have gone up several kilograms."
Textbook Case 1:
Huang Bo Huang Xiaoming when asked by reporters whether the wedding would bribe.
Reporter: "Huang Xiaoming wedding will go?"
Huang Bo: "We should."
Reporter: "What wedding gift ready?"
Huang Bo: "This is not good I thought, people have everything, gave him a blessing, then warm the heart on it."
Reporter: "No red envelope ah?"
Huang Bo: "I do not know if he will live issue."
Textbook Case 2:
There are host asked Huang Bo: Do you have swelling before?
Huang Bo: I should have, but did not let others see it. There was a time to go home I look in the mirror, I could not help but say to yourself, "Hey, brother, you recently more and more handsome."
Real case:
Not long ago a friend said to me about a girlfriend, let me add other micro-channel, due to the other party in advance of my friends have talked to me, and send photos, plus after the start do not know how to speak to chat.
Directly asked me satisfaction? It seems too direct. By way of greeting strangers seemed inappropriate, after all, we already know people, know something.
If she had gone into this embarrassment, when she sent me a lovely face, the burden of training and preparation me, how then can I not embarrassed to talk?
I immediately look at that issue, back to the sentence: You made this expression mean to tell me you're cute?
This is my deliberate distortion, of course I know she did not mean.
I did not expect her back to the sentence: Haha, do you think I'm not cute?
So we suddenly opened the topic and talk for a long time, the whole did not ask what is your name? Cha Hukou who lives where, and so ended questions (although in the end we did not become a couple relationship, but that is not a problem of emotional intelligence, but some areas are not suitable for the problem.)
4. Do not deny himself, nor deny to others.
Once a person be successful or expertise, it is easy for someone else to be compared.
You will often hear people ask: Who you so and so, who is more powerful?
The answer is usually people either raise themselves to belittle others, I am worse than him. Or belittle their own, raise others, he worse than me.
And this is not the answer to emotional intelligence, because it was unfriendly to each other, will make people think you are arrogant or low-counseling, a lot of things are not directly comparable, as two works of art, how to compete?
That the best answer is to find the bright spot to praise both sides. If you want to highlight the other side, they boast their own good, the other better.
Remember to take the good and bad of this group changed for good relations and better relations. Like a hall only cup, large cup, large cup, small cup is not the same.
Textbook Case:
Huang Bo asked whether to replace the gang?
A: This era does not prevent yourself shine, but you also can not cover anyone's glory. Because people was an epoch-making, as in Chinese movies when people are creating filmmakers era.
Some younger we just move on, this not rash.
Real case:
A friend get married, me and another friend A best man to do it. When the wedding is about to end, the moderator asked us to come to power, it is clear that he is the best man bridesmaids amused bring a lively atmosphere.
Because we are not oil the skin of people, so what you answer, the scene was very embarrassed, and later digging host to me: Do you think you're handsome today?
How can I say? If you say cool, that is the IQ issue, the answer can only handsome but also in embarrassed to talk. So I took the microphone: handsome ah of course, you look at me and he (friend A), this hairstyle, the clothes are well dressed, in order to Jiege rejoicing this day, we all hope for a long time.
Moderator laugh: So you are not afraid to dress handsome groom grab the limelight yet? Or do you think you are who is more handsome with the groom?
Me: I think today we have the best man bridesmaids, including two very pretty, ah, like the stars in the sky, dazzling yet, but the bride and groom is more like the moon, ah, we just Zhongxingpengyue.
5. The Reason, because the other side is too good.
Anyone inevitably complain inadvertently had a person did a thing to offend people, can be questioned if the time, how to answer it?
This is a very embarrassing thing, because complaining is itself a person or a thing reflects a dissatisfaction (although not really particularly dissatisfied with the heart, but easy to cause misunderstanding), if the answer can not restore the negative, the more the more description black.
For example, shopping with his girlfriend, seek death complaint: Oh, I do not want shopping, shopping with you tired ah!
Girlfriend immediately asked: What do you mean? You despise me, is not it? You do not love me ......? I knew you change of heart ...... and so on and so on, a series of vexatious came.
If you just deny explain, it is difficult to eliminate off suspects, other people may not believe, but also easy to think that explanation is cover up.
But if a study due to routine, make mistakes just because the other side is too good, it immediately makes you get rid of offending people of the situation.
For example, the above problem or you inadvertently complain with his girlfriend: Oh, ah tired, too tired to go shopping with you.
Girlfriend scowled: What do you mean? You do not love me?
You: uh ...... I mean heart too tired, you see you walking down the street, keep them coming back so high, all the boys to see your body, I can not tired heart thing.
Textbook Case 1:
In a variety show, He Jiong to ask Huang Bo, to the effect that why you Honglei scenes in the movie "a good show" in the full cut off?
Huang Bo: is his entire speech, than play starring are good, you keep him why.
Textbook Case 2:
Cui: Huang Bo told reporters this sentence, since that is working with the director Guan Hu, the director did not know before working with me are bastards, why do you say so?
Huang Bo: Yes, because the director Guan Hu let me know the truth, what is placed in the resurrection. Before other director gave me the good times too much, this is actually bad for a young actor is growing.
Real case:
Sorry, I like this question at present have not encountered before, then when you see the problem faced by Huang Bo in the above case, at first I could not think of how to respond, but summed up the routine, I believe that when it came You can answer pass.
This is my summary for everyone to quickly upgrade their five strain EQ little routine.
PS: But you think that emotional intelligence is like the above routine, learned to high emotional intelligence yet?
Of course not, this is just the tip of the iceberg reflected EQ.