When to worship ancestors?
Ching Ming
Hungry Ghost Festival - July 15th
Cold Clothes Festival - the first day of October
winter solstice
New Year's Eve (New Year's Eve)
How to worship ancestors in a reasonable and lawful way? Next, let's focus on explaining:
1. Item preparation
First, prepare the incense . Incense is like the signal we dial out with our mobile phone. Once the incense is lit, the ancestors know that it is the descendants who come to sacrifice.
Second, prepare fruit . Since the cemetery can manage us for five generations, it is best to take five kinds of fruits. It's really inconvenient, you can just take one, don't be lazy.
Third, prepare pastries. Fruits represent Yin, and pastries represent Yang. When offering sacrifices to ancestors, fruits and cakes are usually prepared. Offering meat to ancestors' graves is only a custom in some places. In the past, sacrifices to heaven and earth required three animals and five animals, which was more sacred. Our ancestors did not achieve the merits of heaven and earth, nor did they have such great blessings as heaven and earth, so offering meat and blood is disrespectful to our ancestors.
Fourth, prepare paper money. What kind of paper do you burn? Hemp money paper. It's very orthodox. Such as Mingbi, Tianditong Bank, etc. are all done by scammers. Just like counterfeit banknotes, they use this kind of money to burn in the cemetery and defile the ancestors. Think about it, how angry would you be if you took fake money? ! This is not a blessing, but a disaster. Including burning mobile phones, telephones, cars, and buildings, these are the behaviors of businessmen to collect money, and they are all useless. We should not be fooled, and we should not think that burning these is called filial piety.
Fifth, prepare candles. It is best to light a candle. A candle is called a lamp. This is Yang, which can make the children and grandchildren walk in any way without deviation, and will not go to the underworld. This is called Mingdao.
2. Burning paper and burning incense
(1) The more paper is burned, the better . Unless what happens? The family is particularly unlucky, and there are many troubles for the children and grandchildren outside, and everything goes wrong. Then you have to think about it at this time, is there a deficiency in your Yang? Are you unfilial? Are you looking for a lover outside? Bad for wife and children? Do you have a tense relationship with sisters? Are you embezzling the unit's money?
I met a friend whose daughter was mentally ill. This daughter doesn't talk to anyone, but when she sees me, she chats with me very well, and she chats very wisely. Her parents felt very strange, saying why the child is not crazy when he sees you? You're always the same when you're gone? I told her father that the child has no nerves, it is your nerves. He asked why? I said think about it, when you were a leader, did your family have everything that your unit had? Do you turn the things in the unit into the property of your family? When he thought about it, all the things at home were really transferred from the work unit. I said that you have done something wrong, and you have a lack of morality, so the child will be like this. I said, think about how many things you have embezzled, and you donate it so that she will be fine. As a result, it took him two years to finish the donation, and the child recovered from his mental illness. Therefore, if there is a loss in the sun, the descendants will suffer. You have to find the reason from this aspect first, and then see if your sacrifice is not doing well.
(2) Burning incense . Burning incense to burn 365 sticks. If the whole family comes to sacrifice, they will be divided according to males. If there are 5 males, they will get 5 handles, 10 people will get 10 handles, and 12 people will get 12 handles. In front of the cemetery, all the incense should be lit. When the incense is lit, it is called tonifying yang.
3. Matters needing attention
1. When burning paper, you can't pick it up with a stick. It's better to chant sutras . At this time, the more paper, the better. But when burning paper, you must not pick it with a stick. If you pick it up, it's like we are disabled. What are you doing in such a hurry? I only come to the grave once a year! When worshiping ancestors, be slow and dignified. This is called continuing the fire and adding fragrance. Many people burn paper, wishing to scatter it, and leave as soon as it is finished. It's also good to stay for a while when you come and chat with the elderly. If you have faith, you can read scriptures when burning paper. If you believe in Buddhism, the simplest thing is to chant Amitabha Buddha. If you are Taoist, you can also read some Taoist classics. Reciting scriptures in the cemetery will help the living descendants. A family with too many girls will have a boy, and those who have worked hard to earn money will feel easier.
2. The elements of dress should be elegant and dignified. When we go to the cemetery, it is best to wear black or white clothes to look dignified. Don't wear bright clothes, shorts or skirts, otherwise there will be romantic offspring in the family. I met a woman who often went to worship ancestors and always wore skirts. Her daughter saw that the man couldn't walk, so she changed six or seven men and had five abortions. She said why is my daughter like that? I said you always wear skirts when you go to the cemetery. She said that she would go for an outing and take her to the grave, and she thought it looked pretty in a skirt. In fact, this is disrespect to the ancestors, then your children will have leaks and lose your face.
3. The expression should be serious. Sacrificing is a very serious matter. If you worship ancestors in the same way, your descendants will prosper and your descendants will prosper. When you enter the cemetery, your expression will be heavy, so stop smiling. Why? The cemetery is someone's home, and it's very disrespectful to them if you smile there. Hippie smiling face, the ancestors will think that you see us dead, see our jokes coming, if he reads this together, you will be in bad luck.
4. Don't take pictures . Do not take pictures in the cemetery, no matter what, the cemetery is cloudy. I have met people who like to stand next to the tombstone to take pictures, but they are not only murdered by villains, but also frequently checked by the procuratorate.
5. Don't smoke. When we are in the cemetery, we must quit the bad habit, don't burn incense or paper to smoke, it is disrespectful. If you do this, it is easy to get angry, and the child is easy to contradict.
Fourth, the steps of going to the grave
(1) Incense
1. First of all, three sticks of incense should be offered . Many people may not be able to find the graves of their ancestors, such as the graves of their great-grandfathers. How do they burn incense?
For the first stick of incense, if you want to be surnamed Wang, you can say that the clan members of the Wang family have received cigarettes widely and come to enjoy the sacrifice. The entire surname has been listed in the past dynasties.
The second stick of incense is the main incense stick . If it is grandparents who are offering sacrifices, you can say grandparents, today is your festival, and you are respectfully invited to come and enjoy the sacrifice.
The third stick of incense starts on behalf of the family . If many grandchildren and sons are outside and do not come back, it will be said that they are very busy with work and cannot come. Don’t take offense, I will replace them. You can mention the name of the person who should come to sacrifice, and pray to the ancestors to protect them from work, travel and roads, and peace in all seasons.
2. The method of inserting incense . Don't insert the three incense sticks together, but insert them one by one. Use your left hand when inserting incense , inserting from right to left . Those of us who are alive are on the left, and those who are dead are on the right. We stick with our left hand to represent our great respect for them, they are our elders; sticking from right to left is in accordance with their principles.
3. Kneel down to repay your favor . After offering incense, you must kneel. If you don’t kneel, it’s not enough to repay your kindness, because this is where you came from. Don't say that the pants are dirty, the pants are easy to wash if they are dirty, the heart is broken, and they are ungrateful, they can't be washed clean.
(2) For fruit cakes
(3) Burning paper . I began to burn the paper very respectfully, thinking of all the kindness of my ancestors.
(4) Clean environment . Clean up the weeds and dirty things around the cemetery. Take all the plastic bags and other things with you when you leave. Many people go to the grave and throw rubbish everywhere. That is the home of their ancestors. Whoever throws your home like that, you are not angry. You know, if we misbehave on the ancestral grave, we will bring disaster.
(5) Handling sacrifices . After offering fruits and pastries, you only need to pinch a little bit of crumbs with your fingers and sprinkle them in front of the grave, and you must not throw them in the cemetery at will. This is called a waste of fortune. After the fruits and pastries are offered to the ancestors, it is best to share them. If there are many people, everyone will share a bit and take them home.
5. Grave visit time
If you are often in other places, you don’t have to go to the cemetery every Qingming Festival and solar terms. Your close grandparents, or parents, you can go there whenever you have time. Take the fruit, take three sticks of incense, tap, stick, and let go, and chat with them, just like when you were alive.
I have a friend who is very rich. Generally, people worship their ancestors four times a year, but he does dozens of times a year. He went back to his hometown when he had nothing to do during the November holiday, to his uncle's house, to his grandfather's house, to the cemetery. The Mercedes-Benz drove there directly, saying that grandpa, I am here, and I will give you glory, look, I drove all the Mercedes-Benz. Light some incense, put some fruit, and say, Grandpa, you have to leave late, I am so rich, how good I am to you. He has this habit, and he said that he did not expect this habit to make him rich. He said that if others can't do well, he can do it smoothly, and if others can't develop the market, he can succeed as soon as he goes. Ancestors bless!
他一开始是开面包车，一个小北斗七星，他就开到坟地去，说你看过去都拉架子车，现在开上车，你替孙子高兴吧。每次换好车，要是生意做成了，他都会跑去跟爷爷聊聊天。他说人家去坟地害怕，他不害怕。这是我遇到的一个例子，旺得很，什么都好，人家从来没听他说碰到小人，工作不顺利。他们公司说他是攻破难关的将军，什么难关只要他去就去搞好。他自己上着班，还有公司主动跟他合作，他发财就是这么来的。他说他习惯上坟地也不知道从什么时候开始的，觉得让老人家看看，他就喜欢。他心里难过，说你看我有钱了，老人家都走了。他这个心念，把坟地风水变了。实际他爷爷的坟地风水我去看了，并不好。
但是我要提醒大家的是，不要说秦老师讲了，我这一去能发财，那你祖先一看，骗我来了！一定要有真诚心、恭敬心。
现在听说还有代哭、代祭祀的，这个可不敢。我遇到一个这样做的人，他每年去不了坟地，老给他的亲戚打电话，让亲戚代替他给他爸妈烧纸。后来他娶了一个老婆，怀孕了，孩子生下来三天，老婆跟他说儿子不是你的，是别人的，我不能伤害你，要不行就离婚。他当时问我他怎么遇此噩运，我说代替代的，祭祖让别人代替你。
父母一生，祖先一生，非常正派，给子孙存德修福。可是现在的人，想我爸一辈子都没找过二奶，他都死了，我妈也不会生气，给我爸找个二奶吧，于是去买个美女给烧了。这叫玷污祖先，损害自己祖先的品德。你一旦给祖先烧这些东西，你的儿子容易搞婚外恋，你的女儿容易对感情不专一。
六、祭祖七敬
第一，行为有敬。举止要敬，包括磕头。给去世的人磕头，是连磕三个。给活人拜寿，只能磕一个头，这叫独一无二。他是你的父母，没人能代替，这叫独一无二。我们不要神鬼不分，给在世的也磕三个头。这是磕头的礼节。跪的时候，要先下右腿，后下左腿。
第二，言语有敬。言语只能赞扬去世人的功德和对你的帮助，切不可揭人伤疤，说人短处。我遇到一个家族不兴旺，不光是不兴旺，儿子还经常打他妈打他爸，啃老的现象特别严重。他父亲就问我，说自己怎么命这么苦，我说你经常在坟地祭祖的时候抱怨你爸。他就跟我讲，他每次上坟就说，爸，你看你一辈子当农民，给我什么都没留下，让我这么辛苦，弄得你孙子天天抱怨我挣不到钱。甚至跟他儿子说，你去给你奶奶烧纸去，你奶奶对我不好，我才不烧。他这叫大不敬，我们只能赞扬祖先的德行。
第三，音声有敬。声音不要高低不匀，不然孩子对你说话会没大没小的，会直呼其名。声音要非常柔和，平静。跟祖先说话，眼睛不能朝上看，要朝下，好像非常恭敬地听祖先教诲一样。
第四，先后有敬。你父亲要去了，你不能把你父亲的光夺了。烧香，烧纸，你都抢头，你这是找死。要先让父亲，母亲，长兄，长姐烧，然后再自己，这叫符合理法。五伦要顺应。很多地方女人不上坟，媳妇不上坟，这是错的。古时候常讲，活着是人家的人，死了是人家的鬼，难道你死了以后不让子孙敬你？
男孩娶媳妇之前，最好让他领着女朋友去坟地给祖先报喜，家要添人了。生了孩子以后，也尽快去祖坟，报告祖先，家里添丁了，这叫报喜。女孩出嫁也是，跟祖先说，女大当嫁，您老保佑她在婆家别受气，让她懂贤惠，孝敬家人。
第五，进退有敬。进坟地的时候要非常肃静，不要再抬头了，要有一种悲哀的心，现在自己过得这么好，父母到底没有享到福，这是进的时候。退的时候，不要转过身给祖先一个屁股，应该往后退三步，看着祖先的陵墓，依依不舍地退三步以后再转身。你要是不懂的话，以后儿子真的可能没做上门女婿也跑到女方家去了，不回来了。女儿一出嫁，跟丈夫亲得很，爸妈就扔一边了。
第六，临近墓地有敬。墓地可能是一个大型的公墓，我们临近墓地的时候，不光要尊敬我们家的人，对别人家也要尊敬。进到墓地就不要大声喧哗了。我碰到有人在墓地小便的，回去就得了前列腺增生，年纪轻轻的，还老看不好。
第七，祭祀行礼有敬。人在墓地，不要边烧着香边想着孩子回来了没有？我爸今天不知道在街上买啥了？我妈今天上午做什么饭？心跑了，就麻烦了，孩子以后上学，三心二意，老不听老师的话，老师讲课他思想就跑了。我们进到墓地以后，衣服也都要整理得整整齐齐。
七、坟地最适合栽的树
坟地最适合栽的树就是四季青的侧柏。侧柏属阴，树根不会很大，最适合在烧纸的地方左右栽。如果家族在外面工作的人比较多，要是想有利于男孩的，左侧这棵柏树就离坟地近一些；要想利于女孩的，就右侧的稍微近一点；要是男女都有的，那就两侧都近一些。我们面对坟地时的右侧，就是它的左侧。
坟地最忌讳的是椿树，不管是香椿还是臭椿。我在老家的时候碰到一个家族，连续五代都会出现一个独眼龙，都是最聪明的人一个眼睛出现问题。我问他们坟地是不是有椿树这一类的，说有，长得旺得很，有一个粗根直接插到墓里面去了。实际墓地是一个人眼睛的位置，所以他们家五代出五个独眼龙，还都是最聪明的孩子。自从把那棵树毁掉，第六代就没有出现了。这一类的树根太深，对祖先最不敬，为什么？它把祖先的尸骨当成肥料给吸收了。所以坟地上忌栽一些根系特别茂盛、扎根特别深的树木。
八、祭祖在心
很多人关注祭祖，但不知道如何祭祖，这里专门做了说明。其实,最根本的在于心。心念能转变，所有问题都能转变，真正明白这一点，你祭祖就如理如法，你的子孙也会如理如法，你的工作也会如理如法。
有人问我，什么叫风水？我讲：人活出人的味道，这个味道就是风水。遇人，人有人味；遇物，物有物味；吃东西，东西有东西味。所有外在的东西就会顺着你这个味道来帮助你、成就你。
为何要祭祖
《弟子规》上都给我们讲到，事死者，如事生。祭祀祖先是谁祭谁有福。
01
古为今用
如理如法祭祀
祖先祭日不祭，影响我们运气是非常严重的。所以我们要如理如法地祭祀祖先。如理呢，就是在道理上面，我们应该祭祀祖先，这是尽阴孝。如法呢，就是祭祖先，我们一定要古为今用。
你要信佛，可以读诵佛经，你要信道，可以读诵道经，你要信天主教、基督教、伊斯兰教，完全可以按各个宗教祭祀祖先的方式，这叫如法。
即使我们出门在外没有时间去墓地祭祀，也要朝老家方向，烧点纸烧点香。这叫遥祭，不忘祖宗之德，是非常好的方法。切记，代祭、代哭的方式是不能做的。
要知道，我们的生命是从祖宗那来的，我们身体流的是祖宗的血脉。要是我们不孝亲不祭祖了，等于把你的源给断了，如同大树无根，你就死了。
02
祭祖是尽阴孝
烧纸钱是从古传下的一种沟通先祖的方式
孝亲祭祖，祭祖是尽阴孝，孝亲是尽阳孝，就是对活着的老人尽孝。他们是大树之根，根深，我是他们的树干，我自然就会茂盛。
民间有一出戏，古时候的唐王因为打仗的时间，死伤很多士兵，他游到地狱以后，阎王就说：你死了那么多士兵，在阴曹地府比较可怜，你要给他们钱。
唐王说：怎么给？
阎王爷说：你们国家有一个人，他非常有钱，你给他说一声，他只要同意，你的这些士兵就能拿到钱，就不受罪了。
唐王梦醒了，真找这个人去了，一找找到了。可是这个人很穷，哪有那么多钱呀？
一问，这人有个习惯，逢初一、十五、三六九就烧纸钱。所以日积月累，就在冥界银行存了很多钱。那冥界这个银行的钱在哪存着，在土地和城隍那个地方存着。
唐王就把夜里做的梦，跟这个人说了，说：你只要同意，你那个钱就能捐给那些为国家阵亡的士兵。我给你现世的钱，你拿去生活。那人说：这是好事，我同意。
这事完了以后，唐王李世民又做梦时，就梦到士兵都欢天喜地了，都有钱花了，这是民间唱的一出戏。至于真实性有待考证，但不得不说，烧纸从古时候就是跟逝去亲人沟通的一种方式。
03
祭祖不是迷信
是一种因果哲学
一般人改变运气命运都很难的，所以运气和伦常的关系我们需要关联起来，你违背了，你不祭祖，以后你的子孙就不孝顺，这就是因果。
因果是哲学不是迷信，你不祭祖，你坟地就不冒青烟，你孩子考学就不好。你不祭祖，对去世的亲人不能像活着一样地尊敬，你就不得祖宗护佑，你这一辈子就亏了阴孝。
祖先祭日不祭，会影响我们的运气，会影响我们的财气。我们就不会得祖宗护佑。所以，我们不要把祭祖当成迷信，当成封建，这其实是我们和列祖列宗沟通的一种方式。