Today, I read He Caitou's article "Shouldn't: Facing the Reality First" which was very inspiring.
The article talks about the two concepts of what should be and what should be:
Should be refers to the way things should be, simply put, ideal; actually refers to the fact.
The article says:
I think there is a problem of order here, that is to say, we should first learn, understand, and accept what is true. On this basis, we should know the two sides of reality, and then learn what should be, and see where there is still change. possible. If this order is reversed, it is the fall of the most common idealist in our daily life. I first learned a lot of what should be, and felt that the world should be like this, society should be like this, and people should be like this, so I grew up as an idealist, passionately wanting to change the world. As a result, he was rubbed against the ground again and again by reality, and then he "woke up" again, completely devoted himself to the side of reality, reciting the misunderstood slogan "existence is reasonable", and completely became a purely utilitarian. People, in addition to being extremely vicious, sighed loudly: "I understand now."
What are the benefits of learning first? The advantage is that a person will not lose hope because of this, and he will not become more and more disappointed in the world, society, life, and human beings, and the more he can see the light in the future. Learning should be the opposite, because you have accepted an ideal world first, so when you enter the real world, you will constantly encounter disillusionment and disappointment, and you will easily become a cynical person and an unhappy person . Most importantly, such a life fails to develop the necessary resilience.
We often say: the ideal is very full, but the reality is very skinny.
I think it's better to put it the other way around: the reality is very skinny, but the ideal is full.
We first accept a reality that is not perfect and has great flaws, and we first admit that society is unfair, and there are many liars, villains and criminals in society.
There are many people who will do anything for their own benefit: you receive a call from a stranger, it may be a scam call; the merchant may make false publicity in order to make money; the things you buy may be counterfeit and shoddy; other purposes.
After I know the real world, I will be wary of this world. When we see those ugly phenomena, we will not feel unacceptable, and thus become more and more disappointed in this world. On the contrary, we will continue to discover the beauty of this world in our daily life. Kind people still account for the vast majority, and this society is becoming more and more fair.
We will become more and more hopeful about this world.
There is also a good example in the article:
According to my thinking, I would tell a child: School is not free, there are classes in the campus, there is bullying, there is a small circle among classmates, there will be cold reception and exclusion, and teachers just prefer obedient children , is to favor children with good grades, is to take care of children with family backgrounds, this is a fact, whether you like it or not, you have to accept it, because that's how the world works.
If you can live with it, then at school you might find a friendship that lasts a lifetime, you might meet your first romantic relationship, you might find a course that brings out your talents, you might feel a sense of learning and self. For the joy of development, you may find a teacher who is truly wise, enthusiastic and caring among the teachers to encourage and inspire you. Ultimately, you'll find your place on campus, something you've earned on your own, that no one else can demean, eliminate, or ignore. Even if all this does not happen, there will always be an end to the school days, and there will always be a day of relief from suffering.
We always tell children how beautiful the world is, keep them away from the ugly, and let them live in a fairy tale world. We create a beautiful "world" for children, thinking that we are protecting them, but as children grow up and enter society, they will be "beaten" by society, and they will gradually find that this world is full of selfishness and It's not fair, and they'll feel overwhelmed.
Instead of making children unprepared to face the real world and thus becoming more and more disappointed with the world, it is better to tell children the truth of the world from the very beginning, so that they can live in the real world as soon as possible and accept the training of society . The flowers in the greenhouse are extremely fragile, and the weeds that have experienced wind and rain can grow wildly.
A lot of "angry youths" actually lived in a perfect world when they were young, but they only saw the truth of the world when they grew up, and eventually became cynical, right?
Facing the same world, why are some people cynical while others are full of hope?
This is a question of the order of accepting the reality first or the ideal first.
Romain Rolland once said: "There is only one kind of true heroism in the world, which is to recognize the truth of life and still love it."
What we have to do is to first recognize the truth of life, whether you like it or not, look at yourself.