Stories about burning fat

Today, I went running. My girlfriend was so surprised at the fact that I'm exercising that she accused me of making it up so I could cheat on her. I'm just trying to get in shape. FML

Today, I went out for a run Come on, I sent a picture to my girlfriend in the middle, but she thought my picture was approved. I just want to stay in shape or not. (Obsolete) FML



Today, a kid on a bike passed me and commented on my "big fat butt." Recognizing him from the neighborhood, I told my husband to go speak to his parents about the inappropriate comment. It turns out his father is the man who yesterday commented on my "big bouncing tits." FML

Today, a picture of a kid sitting on a bicycle added me to Weibo (facebook) and left a message saying I'm "big bouncing tits". I saw from his photo that it was actually the kid next door to our house, so I asked my husband to tell his parents how annoying this kid is. After my husband came back, he told me that the father of this child was the one who left a message yesterday saying that I was like a "chattering sparrow". (really beeping a dog) FML



Today, I went to the gym to try to get into shape. While I was running on the treadmill, my beer belly pushed against the emergency stop button, twice. FML

Today, I went to the gym to work out. While I was running on the treadmill, my beer belly pushed the emergency stop button twice. FML



Today, I was having a pleasant jog, that is until I was struck by the terrible feeling of an oncoming turd. Being only about 20 minutes from home, I thought I could make it back without letting the beast out. I was so wrong . The only thing I'm grateful for is that I was carrying the Sunday paper. FML

Today, I was going to do a jog near my house, and I was doing great driving until I suddenly felt a surge of shit. At that time, it was only 20 minutes away from home, and I wanted to endure it until I got home. It was not good to be pulled by the roadside. Turns out I was wrong, and if I hadn't carried the Sunday paper with me, the consequences would have been dire. FML



Today, I was playing tug of war with my dog. She let go and I ended up punching myself in the mouth. My lip is still swollen. FML

Today, I played tug of war with my dog. As a result, she spit out her mouth, and as a result, I touched my mouth, and my lips are still swollen. FML (Fuck)



Today, while working at the bar, I had a beautiful woman squeeze my bicep and tell me I was in amazing shape. Instead of flirting like any normal human being, I awkwardly said, "Thanks…" and then walked away in shame. FML

Today, a beautiful girl grabbed my pectoral muscles while working in a bar, and tell me your muscles are really amazing. Lao Tzu said embarrassedly, "Thank you..." and walked away with his head down. What about flirting, what the fuck, FML



original address: http://www.shitmylife.cn/subject/info/5