My girlfriend eats our dog's vinegar and I think I might be single soon

Today, I bought the girl I like a bouquet of roses saying "anonymous" on it, and left it on her front porch. She saw it, and called the guy she thought it was from. He said "you're welcome" and now they're going out.

The owner of FML had a crush on a girl, so he bought a bunch of roses and put them in front of her door secretly, signed "I love you silently", then she came out and saw the flowers, so She called and asked someone who she thought gave flowers, but the buddy said "you like it" directly, and now the two of them went shopping hand in hand. FML



Today, I announced my pregnancy (n. pregnancy; rich, prolific; meaningful) to my parents and family. Everybody was happy, except for my dad, who totally freaked out and won't talk to me. The reason: he secretly hoped that I would break up with

my husband, and now that we're expecting a baby he can't "get rid of him" anymore. What should I do? Best answer: There must be someone in the key position. The landlord's father didn't like my boyfriend, so I arranged a person of my own at the most critical position. I am pregnant now, and I hope my father can be happy. FML



Today, after keeping myself awake coughing for 2 hours, I finally drifted off. My cat apparently thought I'd died, and gave me CPR. Now I have claw marks on my chest, and I'm still awake. FML

our house cat The star man has unlocked the seal, damn it, I was shocked. Today, a cough for some unknown reason made me breathless. As a result, my cat thought I was going to die and jumped on me to perform CPR on me. This is so special. The cliff is a traitor of a cat (PS: The technology of the cat is really bad, and now my chest is full of paw prints that she scratched at me). FML



Today, my girlfriend got jealous because I wanted to adopt a puppy. FML wanted to

buy a dog, but when I saw the dog my girlfriend got jealous, now my choice is to be a single dog or let the dog stay single . FML



Today, a girl I've been talking to for a couple of weeks invited me to go see a movie with her. I drive halfway across town to meet her, but 40 mins into a 3-hour long film however, she started obviously fake-coughing and got up left the theater completely. FML

Did I meet a nurse? Netizens have judged that I met a girl from the Internet a while ago. Today, I took the initiative to ask me to go to the movies. I drove across most of the city to pick up people. As a result, when the movie started, the girl coughed twice and then said it out. I walked away completely, am I being slapped by someone? Is there a nursery specializing in movie tickets now? FML



Today, my cat looked like it was about to puke, so I put it outside. Unhappy with the situation, it leaped on to the kitchen window ledge and squeezed in through the open window, only to projectile vomit mid-leap all over the kitchen counter. I found a hairball in the butter. FML

rub, the cat is going against the sky today, I really doubt that this is not a cat, I want to vomit when I see it today, I am afraid that the floor will be dirty. Put it outside the house, and guess what? This product sneaked in through the crack of our kitchen window (a small gap was left in the kitchen for ventilation), and then vomited everywhere in our kitchen. Who told me that it was just meowing all the time? Who is in a hurry. FML

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