Summary of Communication Skills

the art of communication

foreword

1. What is communication

      沟通是人与人之间，人与群体之间思想与感情的传递和反馈的过程，以求思想达成一致和感情的畅通。
      沟通是人们之间最常见的活动之一，是指人们之间进行信息及思想的传播。
      沟通一般分为语言沟通，肢体语言沟通

The importance of communication

1. If there is no communication, then there will be no human emotional connection, there will be no love transmission of information, and there will be no development of commerce, industry, etc. Without these developments, how can human society progress, and there will be no progress. , how to continue to survive.

2. Communication was an important channel for external information in the past. Everyone, every country, and every society could not remain complacent or block their own ears to develop independently. Then communication is very important at this time, because it can let us know Lots of news we need to know.

3. Communication is an important means of our learning. How can we acquire knowledge without communication?

4. Communication is an important way for us to connect our feelings.

5: Communication is a tool to meet social needs.

Cases:
1. Couples in daily life, couples will not directly communicate and miss their love, and the marriage will break down

2. Many people in the workplace will not communicate and miss the opportunity to upgrade and raise wages and affect their careers

3. How to communicate

1. Core elements of communication

Three elements of control: atmosphere, environment, mood

Three characteristics: initiative of behavior, interaction of process
,
diversity of objects

Three elements for establishing effective communication
Goals: Communication without goals is inefficient, and the communication process is easy to run away
Results: Communication requires results to be reflected, and no results are ineffective communication
The realization process of turning goals into results

is what method is used and methods, convey your information, thoughts, emotions, and turn the goals set before communication into consensus reached after communication

2. Summary of communication methods and skills

2.1. The golden rule of communication:

Talk about what the other party wants to hear: explain a person's wisdom and life pattern
Talk about what the other party listens to: do your best and make the best of our friendship
Talk about what you should talk about: fulfill your obligations and responsibilities
Talk about what you want to talk about: friendship, friendship

2.2 Communication methods and skills

All necessary preparations must be made before communication. Failure without adequate preparation is either stupid or lazy. The
core nature of communication drives problem solving

1) When communicating, the key points are

这是一种思维意识，也是一种工作能力体现

2) Shorten the communication path, first the conclusion, then the reason

          1.结论先行：先说结论
          2.后原因  ：导致路径太长，你让人等着着急，对方会想你到底想说什么
          3.准确表达：减少再三确认拉长沟通路径。
           例子：说下午见
                 说下午见 2点在会议室见，

3) Promote thinking: the stronger the communication, the higher the efficiency

             1.守住主题 ,  当沟通跑偏时，要及时拉回主题
             2.掌控节奏 ，时间控制不好超时，到时提醒，及时转入下一阶段
             3.有人决定 ，效率低，无人决定

4) Think about the interests of the other party: the more you can achieve the purpose of communication

例子：求职者可以说我来了可以帮解决什么问题，带来什么利益，提供什么价值
谈判沟通，求帮忙，聊合作：顾及对方利益，

5) Explain professional and difficult things in an easy-to-understand manner

       如用比喻的方式通俗易懂的讲给别人听，
       不要在外行面前表演你的专业，
       别人能听懂你在说什么，别人有兴趣知道你在讲什么才最重要
       同时留有给别人装逼的余地

6) Rational and perceptual thinking: use irrational thinking to communicate

     先认可 ,再解释
     案例：警察叔叔要给路边的车辆罚单
        男士(理性)：罚款200，为什么我们没有违章啊，就是是出了事故坏了灯我们也不是故意的
       女士（感性）：警察同志，俗话说得好不知者不怪吗，就别罚我们了，好吧，明天我们就把这灯修好，再说了咱们都领工资的，这200块购一周的伙食费了，你说是不是。咱都不容易，就别罚我们了   

7) When you want the other party to agree to your request: first let the other party reject you once, and then put forward the real purpose,

Example: You meet a girl you like in a shopping mall, you can say, hello miss, I am attracted by your temperament, can I treat you to stinky tofu, the other party promises that it is better, but big The probability will be rejected, you can say how about we add a chat method, I am a very interesting person, especially looking forward to getting to know you

8) When the point is inconsistent: agree first, then refute, so that it is not offensive and easier to accept your opinion

I think your idea is very good and interesting, but I would like to add that we should take all these factors into consideration. We are a small and medium-sized team, and our upstream problems have not been solved, so my point of view is to implement plan B first.

9) Learn Humor: Reasonable + Unexpected

     例子：不如今天你对我爱答不理，明天我继续找你
        我一直在通往成功的路上，可这条路一直在施工

10) Everyone needs a sense of security: the establishment of feedback awareness

    例如：老板并不需要惊喜，他需要的是掌控，你能让老板降低焦虑的方法是让他看到过程你的老板才有安全感，你自己在那研究大招，在老板那就就是不靠谱，因为任何惊喜的背后都存在巨大不确定性
    完成比完美更重要，工作中要做到，事情问清楚，事中有反馈，事后负责任

11) How to reject Biren and become someone who Biren cannot refuse

       不要变成没有原则的烂好人，要学会拒绝
        拒绝对方的事情而不是人，
        拒绝的步骤：
           1，做个好的倾听者
           2.态度温柔立场坚定
           3.给出拒绝原因
           4.给出替代方案或建议
          例子： 我实在帮不了你，这个客户我一点都不了解，万一把这个事搞砸了，就把你的客户弄丢了，我觉得老张对这个客户很熟悉可以让他帮你，可能会事半功倍了。

Summarize

Those who know others are wise; those who know themselves are great wisdom. One of the premise of communication is: to know ourselves and others. Think before you speak. In the process of communicating with people, we often make others unhappy because of one sentence, so we must avoid saying the wrong thing. And the best way is to not say that at all. Before you speak, think about what you want to say and what to say. Many people tend to be outspoken and never imagine the harm that their sharp words may cause to others. Therefore speaking cannot go through the brain.
Apologize immediately when you make a mistake. It's important to admit your mistakes, so once you find that your words hurt others, don't refuse to apologize for your face. Everyone says the wrong thing occasionally. But you must realize that you have said something you shouldn't say, and then try to correct it immediately. Pay attention to other people's words or other reactions to determine whether an apology is needed. If you do say something wrong, you must apologize immediately, have the courage to admit your mistake, and don't make up excuses, so as not to worsen the description.
Right things and not people. Point out which of his behaviors are problematic, not the whole person. It is easier for a person to change certain specific behaviors than it is to change his personality.
Know how others feel. If you can try to understand the other person's feelings first, as long as you can find the real reason or need behind it, you can use another word to resolve a conflict. Wise people speak with their hearts.
Listen to other people's feedback. To know how to speak, but also to know how to listen. Lack of listening skills often leads to flippant criticism. A person will criticize arbitrarily or make unwise remarks because he doesn't care what others have to say, he just wants to dominate the whole conversation. Listen carefully to other people's feedback or reactions to your opinions to see if they understand your views or feelings. And you can also see where the other person cares and is willing to discuss the key points.
Communicate with others, do not compete with others. Some people often see it as a competition when talking to people. There must be a distinction. If you're constantly looking for loopholes in other people's words, and you're constantly arguing over details, this competitive conversation must be abandoned in favor of a casual, non-aggressive one. In this way, when you express your opinion, it is easier for others to listen to you without feeling repulsive.
Ordinary people speak with their mouths, wise people speak with their brains, and wise people speak with their hearts. The so-called "communication" - "ditch" is the behavior, "communication" is the purpose. The premise of communication is to know ourselves and others; the foundation of communication is to be honest and trustworthy.

Related Books:
Three Skills of Eloquence: Praise, Humor, Rejection, and
Saying Your
Heart with Your Mouth If you lose control, if you are angry, you will lose.
Three emotional controls: don’t care, don’t get angry, don’t be serious, don’t let bad temper hurt you
. One of the
three treasures of success: have a good attitude, a good character, a good habit, change the negative attitude, and have a sunny attitude
. master of own destiny