Two days after I got accepted, I kept asking myself: Is everything in front of me real? ——Computer science has the lowest acceptance rate in the entire UCLA program, with a transfer acceptance rate of only 5% last year.
I know that a lot of people get admission to a prestigious school very easily. Not so for someone as mediocre as me. After the college entrance examination, I went to university in China for two years. However, due to the backlog of many things at home and the fact that the major is not my favorite major, I fell into depression for a time. At that time, I was very pessimistic about everything, and even thought about suicide. That period was the most painful time of my life for the first 20 years.
My parents also persuaded me countless times to honestly study the undergraduate degree in China, not to do it, not to think about repeating the study or going abroad.
On the one hand, there are things that I like - mathematics, computers;
I'm not a scholar, but I still remember that when I first started to learn C by myself, I didn't know MIT OCW or Stack Overflow, and I asked people questions everywhere with a copy of "Advanced Language Programming". Being laughed at and being misunderstood is commonplace.
At the same time, my parents also began to worry about my mental state. For a period of time, I would hide in the bed and cry uncontrollably. Every day, all I could think about was that it would take a few seconds to jump off the roof of the third teaching building of the school and land on the ground. ——During the period, I even had to drop out of school for half a year because of depression.
For a while, when I was awake, in addition to eating and bathing, I was writing code. It was also during that time that I began to slowly brush up on algorithm problems, and sometimes even for an algorithm problem, I could forget about lunch and dinner.
Although I felt that everything was hopeless at that time, the joy of solving the problem gave me the purest moving. I've become more and more sure that computers and math are my true passions.
So, I dropped out of the economics and management major of 985 in China in the eyes of a lot of incomprehension.
After coming to the United States, I completed the required courses in 2-3 years within a year and a half, and achieved a GPA of 4.0 before the last update of my grades. Most of the courses were completed with A+. It can be said that there is no way out. Maybe these seem easy, but there are too many sweats, tears, grievances and frustrations.
Along the way, I know very well that on the road of life, one-time success or failure is not everything . I also know that there is so much to learn.
And I also hope to use my own experience to encourage every friend who has a dream, but does not have the courage to pursue his dream because of other people's incomprehension or various reasons , to bravely pursue his dream and do what he likes .
"Failure is not fatal, victory is not final, the courage to move forward is the most important."
I would like to share with you all.
