Speak Psychology personal note
May cause unpleasant language, try to use less
1. I do not believe that evil
2. I can only tell you, you can never tell anyone
3. To tell you the truth
4. I'm busy (or I did not empty)
5. Do you have any great
6. You do not mean
7. You have to listen to me
8. how you deal with the matter sorted out the kind of person
Ripped through the heart through facial expressions
Aikman has six confirmed human innate basic expressions: joy, sadness, fear, anger, disgust and surprise.
Joy:
smile expression is called the base in the base expression. Smile parts involved include the eyes, mouth and cheeks. When people are happy, the mouth will tilt, elevation wrinkled cheeks, eyelids contraction, eye tail will form a "crow's feet." If laughter, extending from the exterior lips will produce the way up to the nose laugh lines.
Sad:
the mouth is the best show sadness organs. When a person is sad, drooping mouth, chin lift or tightening, while there will be squinting, tightened eyebrows, eyebrow end up expression. Between the eyebrows, eyes and bridge of the nose will exhibit a triangle.
Fear:
When will fear lips tightly stretched backwards, eyes open, pupil contraction, increased whites, lower eyelid tight, eyebrows up, nostrils flared.
Anger:
Then within drooping eyebrows and tightening, eyes grim grim seems to be protruded wrinkled forehead, eyelids and lips tight.
Disgust:
disgust mainly reflected in the eyes of people inside, eyes narrowed, other expressions, including Chibi, upper lip or lower lip elevation drop-down, drooping eyebrows.
Surprised:
surprised, sagging jaw, lips and mouth relaxed, eyes wide, slightly raised eyebrows, eyelids and forehead wrinkles form an undulating lateral profile and forehead.
Different expressions in different heart
Been smiling at each other:
some people are always quietly listening to others, and has been smiling at each other, in fact, this does not mean they agree with each other's point of view, a smile usually just hide their inner most decent way . Such human personality is usually not flashy things, do not reveal their true thoughts of love, joy, anger, without form or color, cautious, even in complex relationships, they can ease.
People love frowning:
when listening to others, like people always have the habit of frowning, they are rarely comment. In fact, this does not mean that they are against the speaker's remarks, precisely because they are likely to listen carefully to each other's words and conduct in-depth thinking. These people usually have a critical spirit, always trying to put forward different views. In addition, some people frown because they do not agree with the contents of the statement made by others.
Lip and tongue:
the habit of people do this kind of action, from the character point of view, generally unprepossessing, hi Nuxingyuse. If you listen to people talk, some people do this kind of action, they explained the content of the speech of others is not interested, or would like to express their views, but do not know how to begin.
Eyes looking down, mouth drooping:
When listening to others talk, eyes looking down, mouth drooping often want to maintain their own authority and dignity. If the eyes are closed into a crack, that he might be very tired, the speaker should pay attention, this time to either stop there, or change the subject.
Word supra, 驷马 难追
Speak likened the article to read the article difficult. Fuss, may careful scrutiny, three amendments; read the article, may be savoring, studied in detail. Speak is not, word, Sima difficult to recover, so you should pay particular attention to the dialogue.
For example, a same "Oh," the word, there are different, said:. "Oh," is to know, "Oh!" Is a surprise, "Oh?" Is a question.
Again, he said, "Well, talk about it later," which is not willing to accept: "Okay, so do it according to" This is totally acceptable:! "Yes, I watch for you," which is not sure representation; "Yes, I think of a way for you," which is sort of willing to bear the responsibility, said: "Yes, I studied to be studied," which is the principle agreed approach must discuss; if he says "good you listen to me echo ", which is willing to help representations. You can savoring, we know that the talk was successful, sophisticated people, are often unwilling to have direct representation, it is easy to make you misunderstand his real intention.
You told attitudes, and should have a sense of proportion, do you think can be done, back to him, "I will try, as no assurance can not"; you think right back to him out "very good", say "Yes" ; you thought wrong, back to him, "this issue is difficult to say, each have their own argument"; you can not do that, he was back to "the matter is too difficult, I am afraid not much hope." In short, do not be so sure. Too sure of the answer, most likely caused discord consequences. All answers must leave some room for maneuver in case of temporary can not decide, you can say, "After I thought about, and then you answer it"; or "After I talk with some aspects, some aspects of the reply from the bar."
You want to talk to each other, have to understand his personality. He likes learned, you should say lofty words; he likes mildly, you should be fluent in words; he likes Kang straight, you should say impassioned words; he likes chores, you should say Qian Jin words; he likes sincere you should be said that the quality of straight talk. Your manner of speaking, in line with the other personality, self can hit it off.
After the anger, not to see off; a hangover, do not see the passenger. Anger anger easily visitors, most for no reason; vocal drunk easily, to reveal the secret.
Goodwill between people rare, ill easily into dialogue with the people, must be careful. Speak way to meet other personality, will have an effect; but do not ignore your level of friendship with each other, or "cross shallow deep respect" "not concerned with words", the words might as well not. Of course friend together, up and down ancient and modern, East and West, claim whatever, talk about anything, you do not have to be shy, but not excessive, a word misunderstanding, feelings Sui-sheng cracks, this is Bukebufang they can not quit.
A man of laughter, can reflect a person's character
An American psychologist after years of research, the separation of several types of human laughter, and analyze the various types of mental point of departure.
Hum smile:
This is the hum out of the nose, because people want to hold back a laugh, and had his nose to "laugh" through. They obviously want to but the tendency not to laugh, shy man show, do not want to pay attention to others, such a person is also a humble and considerate, likes to do things step by step laugh. Because usually we attach great importance to people around the feeling, so people around would like their care.
Hehedexiao:
This is a deeply from the stomach to laugh, showing that people are not self-esteem conservative, outgoing, adventurous, good seize the opportunity. This type of people are more introverted, shy. But careful thought. Things will not reveal their innermost thoughts. I often see things others do not see the funny side. Because it will cover up the inner, often entrusted with the task. Many people do not have confidence or unpleasant mood, will use "Ha ha ha" laugh to hide his resentment. There are people that laughter is generally more moderate people, it will not bring too much pressure. In addition, people are impatient and tired, or when the body will issue such a laugh.
Chi Chi laugh:
laugh issued a "Chi Chi" sound people, mostly people who can be strict with themselves. Sent people "Chi Chi" smile, the optimist is a person, outlook on life is full of vitality, the future is full of wonderful imagination. Their creativity and imagination are strong, occasionally make a surprise move, but will not let sentiment of resentment. They also wonderful sense of humor, and set a goal, will go forward courageously towards the goal. Such people are mostly interested in joy, love to see the funny thing is magnified exaggerated.
Hey sneer:
If a person is always sneer, it means that this person belongs insidious type. Dealing with such people, especially business, it is difficult to achieve satisfactory results. While the other person is like sneer that type of cynicism, they think they see through the vicissitudes of life, will no longer be pursued, so he game of life, living a "live for today" life.
Laugh:
the pleasure will be issued when "ha ha" laugh, which is mostly the so-called forthright type of person, because it is generally difficult to issue such a laugh, but it also shows excellent physical condition of the person, in order to have such laughter. This is a loud laugh, it can be heard even in noisy environments. Laughing so that he does not suppress their own people, is the heart and soul of the party on the kind of natural, they like to tell jokes, when faced with a problem, they often brave and resourceful to solve problems. At the same time, they do things fair, not Xianpinaifu, it will not bully. When people do something wrong, they will not care about. Their sense of humor will bring joy to the people around inadvertently. In addition, they also look outstanding compassion, and not because of the results others get jealous. Because of this character, they often crowd our favorite type. At the same time, such a laugh with a sense of deterrence will deter others, easy to make heart health alert.
Bursts out laughing:
some people rarely smiled, laughed but once it is out of control. Do not look at such people often behave in front of strangers stiff, it looks easy by touch, in fact, such a person is a combination of fire and ice, cold to strangers, acquaintances passionate. They are familiar with the people know that such a person Emotion, sense of obligation and feelings, even at the cost anything for his friend, so their popularity is good.
Soft laughter:
such a person shy, failing calm. They calm and steady personality, more judicious, but also good at reasoning, it can well resolve conflicts and disputes. General can stand in for others to consider each other's position, in front of the cardinal able to maintain a clear and calm mind. Therefore interpersonal better, but also good at resolving conflicts and disputes.
Uncomfortable laughter:
that human nature generally more cold, more realistic and practical, it will not easily be paid for the people around. Their ability to wind blows more prominent, relatively careful thinking, observed others heart in mind, and then match up, waiting to act.
Shrill laughter:
these people optimistic attitude towards life. Compare loyal and reliable man. Their feelings more delicate and rich, have good interpersonal skills. Such a person has a certain spirit of adventure, full of energy, I love to travel.
Often emit different laugh:
such a person issued according to different occasions different laughter, most of them are more realistic, quick thinking work, ability to adapt to the environment than others.
Just smile but does not emit sound is most introverted and emotional person, their temperament more gentle, kind, capable of giving a very comfortable feeling, are people better get along. But they are also more emotional, vulnerable to the emotions of others being infected or disturb others.
Timely refused, can ease the pressure on the heart
How reject others? Under what circumstances can refuse others? What to do to make yourself do something against their will, without affecting the friendship it? Refuse arts
technique, it is indeed a crucial issue of interpersonal communication. In general the following should be considered rejected:
1. contrary to their own principles in life.
2. do not meet their own interests.
3. contrary to their values.
4. likely to fall into relationships.
5. detrimental to their personality.
6. encourage vanity.
7. vulgar transaction.
8. The crime of illegal behavior.
The Chinese people are accustomed moderation, while others are prone to reject some psychological disorder, which is the traditional concepts, but also with some of today's society about the herd mentality. Afraid to say no and people are not good, in fact, too often wearing a "mask" of life, fare well, but lost self, and afterwards often regret not cope; but because it is difficult to get rid of this "inability refusal syndrome" and self-blame, low self-esteem. In fact, art is not difficult to learn to refuse, the following methods are commonly used:
Declined law:
I'm sorry, thank you, this may not be appropriate.
Declined law :
Oh, yes, but I did not think well, think about it then.
Reasonable manner Law:
Oh, I see, but you'd better find someone more interested in the matter, shall we?
Humor method:
! Ah I'm sorry, I still do today, had a desertion from the army.
Silent method:
use a helping hand, he shook his head, shrugged, frowning, turned and other negative body language and facial expressions to express their attitude of rejection.
Buffer Method:
Oh, I will discuss with friends, you try to think of a few days and then decide, okay?
Avoidance method:
today we not talk about this, or talk about another thing you care about it ...
Sternly refused Act:
This can not, I have thought, you do not have to waste of breath!
Compensation Law:
I'm sorry, this is something I really helpless, but I can help you do another thing!
Leveraging law:
you ask him, he can testify, I have never not do such a thing!
Since law enforcement:
You think about it for me, how can I do something not sure you want me to make a fool ah?.
When we have demands on others, or to communicate with others, if the other party can readily commitment, we will rejoice the heart; if the other party has repeatedly make things difficult, this does not work, that is not good, we will feel this person stubborn, unreasonable human, not cooperation.
He refused to have an alternative, because rejection is a very difficult thing! So we should learn the art of refusal. For example, do not immediately rejected, do not easily refuse, do not get angry denial, it should not refuse, do not reject ruthless, arrogant do not refuse.
Random joke will inoffensive
In general, men should not joke with women, subordinates should not joke with superiors and juniors should not joke with their elders, normal people should not joke with disabilities.
To speak quite creative
Or when they meet for the first time in the conversation, ask each other questions, we should try to avoid asking the other side can only answer "yes" or "no problem.
Deal with criticism, they should how to speak
Use proverb:
When in a hurry to the other side when you make decisions, you can say:. "As the saying goes, 'haste makes waste', in this critical moment, we should hold our ground, long-term perspective."
Choose topics of interest to the other party
No one likes a talk about his own conversation, do not care about the other person. People only those who are willing and they have a common topic of communication.
