Zen Master and Programmer

Quote: http://my.oschina.net/xxiaobian/blog/719334
A wave of Zen masters is coming.

> The programmer asked the Zen master: "I broke up with my girlfriend who has been with me for 7 years. Do programmers have a lot to do with love?" The Zen master smiled and took the programmer to the stadium where he was playing.
The programmer was enlightened: "Does the master mean to say that the meaning of love is like a game, as long as the process is worked hard, the result is not important?" The
master closed his eyes and said: "You break up with me?"

>Program The member asked the Zen master: "I stay up all night at the computer every day until the early morning. Everyone says I'm
ugly , am I really ugly?"
The programmer was puzzled: "You mean, if I wash my hair every day, I won't be so ugly?" The
Zen master replied: "Ugly enough to pour the water into the water. Geng flow, raise a glass to pour out sorrow and sorrow—Li Bai)

> The programmer asked the Zen master: "Master, I work overtime every day and complete a big project independently. I am very rich now, but I am not happy at all, can you give me some pointers? What should I do?" The
Zen master asked: "What is rich?" The
programmer replied: "Is it not rich with 8 digits in the bank card and 3 suites in Wudaokou?
" : "The Zen master made me know how to be grateful and rewarding?"
"No, - local tyrants, can we be friends?"

> The female programmer asked the Zen master: "Why am I young and beautiful, so attractive, but no man likes me? Because I Are you a female programmer?" The
Zen master asked, "Do you know why men like the sea but not the lake?" The
female programmer thought for a while: "I see, because the ocean is a big challenge, and men like challenges, so Love the sea, right?"
Zen master: "Challenge your ass, because the ocean is big!"

> The programmer asked the Zen master: "I have never been able to catch the girl I like, what should I do? Because I am a programmer?" The
Zen master laughed Without saying a word, he pointed to the snail that was crawling hard on the tree pole next to him.
The programmer had an epiphany: "Zen master, do you mean that as long as you persevere like this snail, you will always succeed?" The
Zen master swung the wooden fish and smashed it hard: "Silly X, you have to have a decent house like it!"

> The programmer asked the Zen master: "I have a big dream. If I realize it, there will be no disputes in this world. So I need a lot of money, can you help me, Master?" The
Zen master took out a child's hat and a pair of children Let the young man put on the gloves, and then ask: "How do you feel?"
"Hand, my head is a little tight."
"Me too."

> The programmer couldn't sleep in the middle of the night, so he asked the Zen master: "Master, I often suffer from insomnia, what should I do? What?" The
Zen master smiled without saying a word, pointing his finger at the wall of the meditation room.
The programmer looked around, and a white wall came into view, and the wall was blank and nothing else. After pondering for a long time, the programmer suddenly realized: "Master said that you need to get rid of the distracting thoughts in your mind, and you can fall asleep without thinking?" The
Zen master shook his head and became furious: "I mean TM roll me! Ah!"

> The programmer asked the old Zen master: "I am a bitter programmer, and I have no sense of security in my life. What should I do?" The
Zen master smiled without saying a word, and pointed to his chest.
The programmer suddenly realized: "I understand. Only when you have nothing to do with your heart can you be carefree, right?"
"No" The old Zen master slowly took out a small notebook from his chest, on which was written: "The Secretary of State of the United States of America hereby requests…”


> The programmer asked the Zen master: "Master, I don't have a high income and I don't have a partner. Therefore, I feel irritable and can't calm down. I feel that my heart is blocked and it is very painful." Let's go to the sea." The
programmer asked thoughtfully: "Does this want me to cultivate my sentiments and feel the broad mind of the sea?" The
Zen master shook his head: "If the sea can, take away your short and ugly."

>See you, programmers Zen master: I learned hello world and daffodils number, I want to develop an operating system by myself, I hope the master can give me some guidance.
The Zen master laughed without saying a word, grabbed a chicken, and wrapped a thread around the chicken leg. As soon as he pulled the thread, the chicken fell immediately, the chicken struggled to continue walking, the Zen master pulled it again, and the chicken fell again, and this repeated eight times.
If the programmer realizes something: "Master, are you trying to persevere and make persistent efforts?" The
Zen master smiled: "Young man, I am trying to make you screw up."

> The programmer asked the Zen master: I always don't get along with my colleagues, they Using Java, I use PHP.
The Zen master smiled without saying a word, took out a chopstick and handed it to the young man: Come, break it.
The young man took the chopsticks and broke them easily.
The Zen master took out another forty-seven chopsticks, and the young man grabbed them, copied them out and chopped them off.
The Zen master pondered for a moment, put his hands together, and put his hands together: You should use the Python language.

> The programmer said to the Zen master: "Zen master, there are some things I can't put down." The
Zen master said: "There is nothing I can't put down." The
programmer shook his head and turned on the computer.
The Zen master said: "It's better to buy a bigger hard disk."

> A programmer asked the Zen master: I like java language the most, but others always say java is not good, java will die, what should I do?
The Zen master picked up an axe and threw it into the sky, then asked: Did you hear the sky screaming in pain?
The programmer shook his head: the axe didn't hurt the sky, how could the sky cry out in pain?
The Zen master nodded: The sky is so high and vast, what can't be tolerated. To be a qualified programmer, be like the sky. Throwing the axe again... ahhhh...

>The programmer visits the Zen master: Every time I encounter a bug in the program, I feel anxious and ask the master for peace of mind.
Without saying a word, the Zen master went to chop wood first, then fetched water, put the wood in the stove and lit it, boiled water in a large pot, and wiped the teacups one by one.
The programmer suddenly realized: "You mean to be good at experiencing life from the details of life!" The
Zen master put down his work and said indifferently: "I just went to work, I am busy, don't bother me!!"

> The programmer asked the Zen master: "I want to develop a website that includes everything from everyone, QQ, Facebook, and Taobao. What does the master think?" The
Zen master led him to the yard without a word. Is silently exuding fragrance.
"The fragrance of plum blossoms comes from the bitter cold..." The
programmer was very moved: "Master! Do you want to tell me that as long as I keep working hard, I can get what I want?" The
Zen master shook his head: "You are talking shit before Mei."