"We are no longer blindly giving to others. We have all experienced the process of giving to others. Of course, the results are good, but most of them are the same, that is, we are hurt miserably, and sometimes we just don’t pay. There will be good results. Even so, we have learned how to love."
1
The repeated injuries did not make us negative,
Instead, we learn to see the advantages of others.
No one is perfect. No matter how outstanding people are, there are advantages and disadvantages. If we are attracted only by other people's external things, such as beauty, or some status, etc., but frankly speaking, he still has disadvantages.
We are the same, we also have strengths and weaknesses. We are not looking at others to grasp their shortcomings. But to stay awake, but after we know a person's shortcomings, we can tolerate these shortcomings, which shows that we really love him.
If we want to be friends with all kinds of people, we have to learn to tolerate all kinds of shortcomings. Some shortcomings are not acceptable to us. If that's good, just interact with each other appropriately, but we don't despise each other, or Think of yourself as superior, because what is good about us?
2
No need to yell, just use rejection,
Will filter out what we don't want
The best way to be afraid of being hurt again is not to not associate, but to effectively refuse. We reject some behaviors, which will effectively filter out some people, because they themselves feel that we are not worthy to associate with them, so they will not have too much contact with us. They left by themselves.
So know what you want to do, know what you will never do, know your boundaries, and effective rejection will automatically filter out people who are not the same as us. Of course, we must resolutely refuse. If it fails once, we will refuse until he understands our position.
Only when we know what not to do can we reap the corresponding happiness. The so-called "gentleman does something and does not do something" is that.
3
We don’t question the motives of others,
We believe that others must have hardships.
This does not mean that we are willing to be deceived. In fact, most people's intentions are not absolutely malicious. Sometimes it is unintentional, but after doing it they did not expect to cause harm to people, and sometimes we have experienced such situations ourselves.
We didn't intend to hurt others, but it turned out that that person was hurt by us. At this time, we were actually shocked. But this is determined by the rules of this world. In fact, we always have the desire to do good, right? We always want to make some contributions for others, right?
It's just that our abilities are limited and we are powerless. In fact, don't be discouraged. We have done very well. We have done our best according to our own abilities. It is not that important to achieve what effect. What is important is our motivation. Is our motivation for the benefit of others?
If it is, that's great. Help others to get greater happiness, right? Helping others is actually helping yourself. What's so strange and embarrassing to admit this? This is actually the case. If we help others, we are actually suffering and cannot get greater happiness.
Then how can we have the motivation to continue doing it?
4
To love others is to love yourself,
Love yourself should also love others
When we see the happiness of others, aren’t we also very happy ourselves? Especially when this person is the one we are dedicated to helping. But if he does evil, aren’t we more sad than doing evil ourselves?
For example, when our child has a good time, we really feel very gratified, but if he acts evil and degenerates, and then eats the consequences for himself, there is really nothing more painful than experiencing such a thing.
Only when we have the ability to love others can we truly learn to love ourselves. Some people say that I love others, but I am always hurt by others. Should I still love? I just love myself better. Loving others is definitely not just a feeling, but wisdom.
Being wise does not mean that we will not be hurt, but even if we are hurt, we will not lose hope or the ability to love others. We will use wisdom to avoid some traps and reduce the possibility of harm.
If we are hurt, we just feel that the person who hurt us is very pitiful. He has to bear the consequences for himself. It may take more than 30 years for this kind of consequences to happen to him. In fact, true love does not care about the harm done by others.
Love definitely does not mean innocence. Love is simple, and simplicity must be a wise act.