In college, it is a pity that I did not read many classic books, because I woke up relatively late at that time and always advocated the uselessness of reading.
It was not until the beginning of my junior year that this deep-rooted concept allowed me to change. I gradually came into contact with books. This was indispensable with the influence and help of some friends around me. I gradually developed a good impression of reading and gradually cultivated reading habit.
Until now, no matter where I go, I feel at ease with a book beside me. For this reason, I spend a portion of my income every month to buy books in various fields, and read leisurely before going to bed at night or during a break at noon. After all, investing in myself is something everyone has to do in their lifetime.
1、
Although I haven't read a few books in the university, some books still had a great influence on me at that time. Including now, whether it is amateur writing or work, the thinking and methods in the book are still very practical. Good books can really be proved by time.
Today I recommend a book about thinking, and it was the book that benefited my thinking most when Xiaolu was in college, called "Lifelong Growth." I seem to remember that I recommended this book more than once or twice. If you have not read it, I suggest buying one and reading it carefully from beginning to end.
I took out this book two years ago and wrote a book review, but unfortunately, there were fewer readers at that time, so I went back and looked through it. In addition, I went through various things in the past two years, plus daily practice, right The content of the book has a deeper understanding.
Review the key content of this book with everyone.
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Whether it is our study, our family or our career, it is determined by two modes of thinking, one is called "fixed thinking" and the other is called "growth thinking".
Next, let us understand what is called fixed thinking? What is a growth mindset?
The essence of fixed thinking is to believe that one's talents are fixed and unchanging, but don't underestimate this thinking, which will give us a series of chain reactions. For example, you are eager to prove yourself, prove your sense of worth and existence. In short, it all boils down to proving yourself all the time. This is the manifestation of a fixed-thinking person.
On the contrary, what about the so-called growth mindset, give a practical example. A person went to class by himself, was late, and was deducted credits. The teacher asked him to come up to the stage to answer the question, but did not answer. He fell down after class and returned to the dormitory to feel that he was naive. In fact, this is a manifestation of fixed thinking.
So for a person with a growth mindset, he will think that although he has experienced setbacks this time, instead of complaining, he decides to plan his time in the future so that he can get up early and not be late. The teacher asked me to answer the questions to review in advance after class, and don’t always think about going back to the dormitory to play games and cause myself to fall. This series of thoughts appeared. People who can have such thinking can be attributed to growth. Sexual thinking person. The two are obviously different and very different.
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However, we cannot absolutely divide a person into a fixed thinking person and a growth thinking person.
For example, when Confucius said gentleman and villain, gentleman and villain are not two kinds of people in society, but two different states in our body. In the process of our continuous training, we constantly increase the composition of gentlemen and reduce the composition of villains. This makes us a responsible person.
Growth thinking is the same as fixed thinking. As we grow up, we must constantly stimulate our own growth thinking cognition, and deliberately face our lives with growth thinking, then you will find your negative emotions It will decrease and positive emotions will rise.
Many people in our lives have fixed thinking in a certain aspect. For example, people who like to find faults are easy to go crazy, because people with fixed thinking always like to shift the responsibility to others. We have seen these kinds of people. Before others could finish their words and understand what was going on, they started to go crazy and blame others. This is a typical example.
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There is a passage in Confucius that says: "When you enter the temple, you will ask about everything, that is to say, Confucius will ask about everything when you enter the temple. What is this? what is that? Then the person next to him said, who is the son of the Huren, Zhilihu, asks everything about entering the temple.
In other words, the children of Hu people don't know the etiquette at all, so why do they ask everything about entering the temple? It seems that there is no knowledge, the person who said this is a person of fixed thinking.
He thought that an educated person shouldn't ask everything, but Confucius said it was courtesy. This is courtesy. Being easy to learn is courtesy. Even if I know nothing, I have to ask everything clearly, and I have to pretend to understand. So this is the thinking mode of Confucius, and Master Confucius is a typical growth-minded person.
The core thing I want to share today is that everyone must exercise their own growth mentality instead of saving face. In order to feel the moment, pretend that I have learned from others, as if I am very casual.
I thought of a good example of learning in high school, that is, we usually see some people who do not work hard but do well in the exams. Everyone praises him and does not work hard.
However, once you meet this kind of other people’s need to work hard, and I don’t need to work hard to get good results, you can show that I am different from others. At this point, in fact, this is that everyone needs a value sense.
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Then talk about the thinking mode in love.
Looking at the love thing around you as a bystander, in fact, in a relationship, growth-thinking people think that everything can be cultivated and needs to work together and work hard with each other.
One thing that happened to me recently I think fits the growth mindset. My reader said that he was a little irritable lately and didn't have the energy to do anything. At this time, his girlfriend told him that I was motivated every day that you infected every day, but now I can't do it. Then this reader is motivated and motivated again. From this example, we can see that both parties work hard, support each other, and solve problems together. This is the growth mindset in love.
Instead, we often see young couples quarreling. The girl says to the boy, "What do you think is different from me, and the boy says that is different?" The girl said, what's the point of me saying it? Then we began to doubt the outlook on life of both sides. We think about it carefully. Two souls are installed in different bodies. How can you think of what he thinks? This is the performance of a person with fixed thinking in love.
If you feel that love is like in a fairy tale, and you have lived a happy life since then, it is impossible in reality. The reason why it is written like this in the fairy tale is because the writing is over, so let's imagine it later, hahaha.
A healthy and long-lasting relationship requires running in and working together. Even if two people are in conflict, they must believe that the relationship is good.
At last
Having said so many examples, you may also be very clear about growth thinking and fixed thinking.
Easier said than done, there is a way you can try, the method I have been using before. When a certain idea appears in our brain, ask yourself whether it is a fixed thinking or a growth thinking. If it is a fixed thinking, ask yourself whether you want to be a growth thinking person.
Finally, I will send you a word.
Change may be difficult, but no one has ever said that it is not worthwhile.