EDITORIAL
Cause I: The title of this article is a matter of "2019 year-end summary" (although 2020 has been said), as the author of the narrative and comments should be objective in 2019 happened to the author and should not be subject to mood problems during the writing left and right.
Past 2019
2019 is summarized ah I dove to 2020, indeed I
Ah indeed of 2019 it had finished, the year happened too many things happening throughout junior high and may add up to almost right, during the year also felt the tangible aspects of his ability has entered a new stage , compared to 2018, and looks like a lot of it is growing.
And now New Year's Eve 2018 in the shadow of the train has not eliminated say
Within five years it is estimated that it can not be eliminated
In fact, in my opinion, my 2019, was abruptly cut from the middle of the knife.
Before NOI2019, EncodeTalker lived a very happy life, you can find a small partner chat every day, but also happy to do some meaningful things, still remember the end of March, when pulled limstash, withoutpower, crazydave happy together jz bird bird bird day, OI level at that time still a significant improvement, but also to learn some new knowledge every day (Although later forgot)
Provincial election is coming back, and then for some reason the provincial election was postponed to mid-May, it has decided to Mang before and after the provincial election beloved teacher to discuss. Maybe life is from this time began to lose control of it, but looking back, or will make the same choice, because the heart is no longer calm down.
Is closed after normal life, to write about everyday problems playing + cf, still remember and limstash there withoutpower together while waiting for system test while bird time, but also on the orange in EncodeTalker last div1 before the provincial election.
JXOI2019 so far for me is magical day before the exam I pretty clear positioning of their strength: Gou energy into the team, but the A team or not still depends on luck, after all, has a strong presence up and down me a head. After just finished also lacks feel, we still lively exchangeEven jkfz classmates invited me to dinner and chj. Wait until the way back, the message we put out one after another, first the province overturned the strongest Ebola gutter, then discrimination is particularly fantasy, the audience with the same score. At that time I think as long as the points to get the public will be satisfied. The results of my coach suddenly pointed at my excitement: you are highest score. I was still very happy, after all, his dream finally came true, but hung a bit chj, comforted him after they go back to decadent decadent decadent.
The day after the test points of the night. He said after honest look at the list I am dumbfounded, I think it is stronger than my Ebola, withoutpower, crazydave and chj are not into the team (to be honest I still think the above four in any one of them to replace me to the NOI will be better than me) I successful turn to the provincial rk1.
After things get Kiki to give up, in the first thusc Day2 sleepwalking and consequently the whole fishing vain (Mom, I re-open my dog computational geometry), Then Nanchang Invitational three people competing to show results in the last 2.5h A few questions. At that time, the foundation may cool it.
Entrance vacation time alone got into the car to go to Zhongshan (Sat next to both age and children less than two years old he is autistic). The car has always had a wonderful feeling, then remembered the first time training about 7-8 people sitting together in a happy scene (Hey wake up when you go to sit in a car at midnight 12:00), But that fleeting feeling of sadness, because there were still limstash, happy to go back after a while and cultural studies can quickly come back chj.
The idea, it simply frightening.
Training before the NOI has been very self-closing, especially zr of training, basically every morning in front of three questions and then forced to watch list ignorant various gods cut burst. During that time still relatively depressed state of mind (after all, every day, hanging hammer), plus the issue of playing time due to diet rhythm, some severe weight loss (83kg fell from the fat or the fat about 72kg). But there Zepto and limstash time together is quite interesting, the majority arrived in middle school, when three people to not return to the bedroom lights out time to think about life in the playground is still very fun (bushi
NOI time, could have been holding a play gesture, but Day1 being too tight or a loved gg, Day2 though to save some weaknesses but still not escape the fate of coarse Cu roll. But then comfort myself: I have a high, I still play.
really?
After coming back from NOI, we have for some time been very self-blame, because they Day1 major mistakes that led to the province this year NOI continued bleak. This negative sentiment has also been taken to catch up a little culture lesson, the lesson of the cultural make up some time heard chj situation, the feeling is not very good, then did not pay much attention to it (after all, he is still very strong ah)
After life, torn abruptly, and in front.
With a vivid metaphor comes to mind: every experience after that, were torn into Duanren, stabbing last line of defense in my heart.
I always knew sophomore mentality and high school will be different, but did not expect to become so utilitarian, remember after cspDay2 finished my brain went blank: over, it's over. Although not willing, but the matter has been settled.
Then came a hand jx replay, I was invigorating
Michael your mother. . . Forget it~
After various reasons OI has remained stagnant until after a preliminary examination before wc barely squeeze some time out, which makes the final defeat had an excuse for it.
In fact, I've always been a. . . Dull people do.
Pkuwc finished out, there is no reaction, except a little too tense exam questions than nothing, go back and look at sand sculptures get away.
But then he sank into a. . . Weird thoughts, I always thought it was because of my interest in OI has changed the nature of the cause, and the old section until there gy conversation.
I thank them for helping me find the root of the problem, but I was not ready to face him.
I began to indulge in the last story, that everyone happy together bird when that time chj casual and Chit, and that in the majority of middle school to see quality performances Zepto triple in the engine room when indulging in and old friends did not mind Some joke of the lungs did not open when.
Then I discovered that I had lost everything.
I am no longer able to find people and I Chit together, nor Tucao my innocence aside, even I (a sense of) spiritual support chj situation also forced the AFO.
I began to fall into a new round of anxiety, with fear, with a sad and a little desperate now.
I have not been able to get out of that shadow. And the students around (except j c name and surname gods that have special meaning to me) exchange also can hide to hide. I try to avoid their mood swings, but also to force myself not to think of things before.
I started to become like me.
New Year's Day party when there is a moment I thought I was good, I restored the ability to re-integrate into the collective. But until I saw a scene (remember now is not clear, and no longer want to force myself to remember), with a flood of memories, I completely collapsed.
I fled the room, where the only thing I can place in the school alone, locked the door and let the emotion spewing out. 20min almost calm now, slowly go back, that party has ended, go back pack alone.
Night a man walked around the lake a half-circle, thoughts or mess.
So while the troubleOne side says cancer conic2020 came.
After a few old friends to congratulate, I received the blessing of withoutpower.
I chatterbox suddenly opened, I talk to him what happened the past few days, repeatedly got up to get paper towels period.
That day I went to bed at 1:50, and I feel a little bit better.
Because after getting math homework there is a small problem, I asked a classmate a question, I have also been some conversation.
I found that he did something stupid.
But I have not head back, and I can not let myself back 19 years and that the last days of the cold, even in front of the abyss, I will go all the way now.
Just hope I did not hurt, that for me the most important person now.
yysy in front of them I try not to show his steady or change it
Future 2020
Me right now, what future is there?
Discerning the past only people who will not be coming to him with open arms.
This process is painful, but right now I have to go past.
I can not evaluate me now what, whether on the right path, because I can not predict what the next second I would want to write, I will not suddenly collapse.
I want to look back in 21 years time, can no regrets about decisions made now own it.
I wish you reading this boring running account && annoying chatters here to see friends, 2020 and good luck, all the best.
When finished look of it has been No. 2