I went to see a movie by myself some time ago.
The original intention of going is always very numb. I feel like working hard and everything. My dreams are not so strong. Every day except work is work, other thoughts are gradually extinguished, so I want to find a place to quietly meet, whatever. I don't want to, and it's not the kind of relaxed state where I am numb playing mobile phones, I just want to find a place to relax my body.
It's been more than half a year since I graduated, and I feel very bad, very bad..., without progress, the more I live, the more tired I am, farther and farther away from my goal. Became the person I hated the most...
这是我在去年毕业档案的自我鉴定一栏的写一段话：
Time flies, graduation in a blink of an eye, six years in a hurry, and many changes. During the university, he studied at Jining Normal University for nearly three years, served in a department in Shanxi for two years, and trained in Shandong Youth Soft for nearly half a year. He received the careful instruction of teachers from schools, training bases, and army squad leaders. Learn to be a man, learn to do things, learn knowledge. While growing and learning professional knowledge, there is more of nothing more than the phrase "the insight of the world is knowledge, and the cultivation of human feelings is the article". Regarding my university, while giving life to the years, I have a deep understanding of myself, understanding of life, and searching for the meaning of life. People who meet with great in life, learn from each other's strengths, build up their own life value system, and constantly try and practice in the professional cultural knowledge learning, develop good learning habits, and build their own professional knowledge system. After six years in a hurry, looking back and ignorant, there are many changes, such as people drinking water and knowing their warmth and coldness. University is the starting point. I hope that in the future, I will be a person who is useful to the society, so that my family can rest assured and live a real life.
On Saturday that day, I forgot many things. I just remembered reading a book at the company for a while, then carrying the computer, went to a cinema next to the company, bought a cup of lemon tea that she often drank, and went in.《心灵奇旅》
摘几个句子出来。
I heard a story about fish.
A small fish swims next to the old fish and
asks it: "I want to find what they call the ocean." The
old fish said, "Ocean? But you are in the ocean now"
said the small fish. "Here? This is water. What I want is the ocean"
The spark of life is not a goal, but a passion for life.
"Spark is not the goal of life. The moment you want to live, the spark is already ignited."
"How will you spend your life?" "I don't know, but I will cherish every minute to live."
Some people just can't let go of their own anxieties and obsessions, leaving them lost and disconneted fron life. Some people just can't let go of their own anxieties and obsessions, leaving them lost and disconneted fron life
.
I'm just afraid that if I died today, that my life would've amounted to nothing
.
When I saw it, tears kept in my eyes, and my stung eyes were uncomfortable.
I always feel that life could have been very good, but I was very sad. Put a lot of pressure on yourself. Thinking about the future life, thinking that you can be very skilled, you can make a lot of money, buy a house with your own efforts, marry a wife, have children, and take care of the elderly.
When I was in college, I met a Taiwanese university student on a website called Sentence Miscellaneous, sometimes called Y, she called me L, similar to each other's mail communication for about two semesters, she studied philosophy, then I asked her Ask about the meaning of life, "The meaning of life is the process of finding the meaning of life." She said so. She taught me a lot of things. It’s just that the website called Sentence Fan is no longer accessible...
摘一些我们彼此的通信：
I will be Gu 18-05-09 17:45 Mr.
Y: The
deceased is like this. It feels like reading Mr. Y’s private message last night. I hope you can rest well and will not affect your daily study due to physiological reasons.
I have never studied philosophy, nor do I understand philosophy, but I have always defined philosophers in my heart as: philosophers are a group of emotional people. Because of their sensibility, they have some ideas about many objects, and these ideas are philosophy. So Mr. Y talked about [the supreme rationality of philosophy] and [reductionism]. I was very surprised. I remember not knowing where I saw it a long time ago: any subject has reached a certain height in research. To return to or go through philosophy (probably like this), I didn't understand at that time. Thinking of just some thoughts, how do they affect the research? (Thinking that philosophy is a liberal arts major and has nothing to do with science). Now I know a little bit through Mr. Y.
As far as cognitive psychology is concerned, I don’t understand cognitive psychology. But as far as you said, it’s a bad thing to think about. I don’t want to believe it. If it’s true, every one of us is born according to The best way to cultivate oneself physically, what kind of world it is, this decision is impossible. Then there will be no artists or all artists. Am I right.
Well, I decided not to agree with this view. But the reason you like it is to reform (use this word for the time being) yourself? The kind that makes yourself very powerful, is the scientific and rational persuasiveness that you talk about for this reason? Or to talk about pure love for professionalism, in fact, I am also very contradictory. If I think in general, I have some understanding of you.
I'm a little shallow, but I don't understand that what you said [science] and [reason] are all religious terms. We are probably due to education, so most of the people around me have no beliefs (religious beliefs), and a few have them. Am I religious? And the personality god you talked about, whether it’s Eastern or Western, I never have sustenance. I don’t believe in what is there or what’s not. The vast majority of people look like this, so there will be the saying "temporarily hold the Buddha's feet". But recently, a female classmate of Zeng Jin believed in Buddhism. I was surprised to hear that. She turned out to be a very unique person. When I saw her again and again, her hair was cut short, which gave me an indescribable feeling. I want to talk to her, but I am worried that she will feel isolated.
I have never studied philosophy, so I superficially think that the objective laws of the world are not the result of human rational knowledge? It was produced by humans, so how could it be different?
Well, "Dark Heart" is almost finished. Well, it's the first time I read a novel written in this way. At the end of the reading, I couldn't even figure out the plot, and I don't know the reason for the translation. I think my realm is too low, and the narrative method is different from the other books I read. But I don't know what it is. He still talks so much nonsense about such sad things. I don't want to read such a heavy book for the time being. To read a positive book, is the book "Shadow of the Wind" recommended by Mr. Y such a book?
What is my major? I remember mentioning it once. It was very difficult for me to learn one. I have always been a very clever student. But I believe that diligence can make up for one's weakness, and God rewards diligence, because many powerful people say so.
Let me sort it out and introduce it to you next time I reply.
I shared with you a sentence I picked up a long time ago. May it be better.
Enjoying the flowers in the upper reaches of Mo in spring will not fall in love.
L
Yinli 18-05-09 21:45
Good evening, L
handed in a big report today. I feel calmer . I just finished watching a movie I like very much. I am very relaxed. I just saw the reminder of your letter. E- mail.
Ha, let’s just say something for philosophy~
Philosophy is an extremely rational subject, which can be simply understood as "to a phenomenon/fact (for example, the ancient Greeks saw water evaporate into gas and wondered why artificial intelligence could talk to humans?" Etc.) Surprised-so I want to understand the "why", that is, I have realized a question-trying to clarify what the question I want to ask is-finding the answer to the question
" process.
Think, language, technology, medicine, astronomy, physics, brain science, political science, law, literature (not referring to literature, but literature (literature study
asked)), mathematics, geometry and so on, The development of all human civilizations has gone through the above process. This requires very organized and structured thinking to go from "discovering problems" to "solving problems." So people say that philosophy is extremely rational.
Some people clamored that philosophy is the mother of all disciplines, and a large part of it is because of this.
In fact, the opposite of "rationality" is not "sensibility" but only "irrationality", that is, thinking that does not follow logic, that is, there are wrong and unreasonable steps in the reasoning process, which includes the sudden jump from one conclusion to another. An irrelevant conclusion, grasping the wrong goal of thinking and then continuing to think in this direction deviation, etc. These are called "logical fallacies". There are many books on logical fallacies, and understanding can indeed increase the logic of your own speech. Increase the persuasiveness of speech and improve the ability of critical thinking. It will not be easy to be misled by people using words, or it will be easier to see what other people say is unreasonable (so I know some people who hate philosophy students and think they love to talk. Catch people language sickness). To tell the truth is very practical, so in particular, many law students or communication media majors will come to our logic class, so that they can better debate in court, write reasonable articles, and so on. If you have time, it is really good to read logic. I find it very interesting, but I can't do the advanced logic.
It's a little bit biased, but what I want to say is that philosophy is really rational beyond imagination.
But I believe that a good philosopher must not only be rational, but also emotional (reminder: sensibility is not the opposite of rationality):
the original meaning of sensibility is "sensetive" (sensitivity), not neuroticism, persecuted delusion, let alone Emotionalization that is often mistakenly grouped together by people ("Emotionalization" actually means that the body is easily stimulated by the external environment to cause emotional ups and downs. (So far, it is not emotional. Follow the following conditions:) and Emotions change very quickly, and they can't be restrained by oneself and manifest in external behavior. This is because of the physiological disorders of the endocrine system.), but the sensitivity to finding problems.
If a person can only carry out the reasoning part of the problem thinking process, without "thinking about the problem" (discovering the problem, being aware of the problem) and "finding the core concept of the problem" (that is, mastering "What is the question to ask? Question?" Where is the crux of the problem?”), then he cannot construct a set of theories. All scientific constructions require this ability.
People who lack sensibility can probably only be operators in the laboratory, not those who build an experiment or integrate experimental data to construct theories and answer questions.
Therefore, many famous philosophers and scientists said that people need sensibility, or the great philosopher Kant has a famous book: "A Critique of Pure Sensibility". They say "sensibility" is all this, not the romantic feelings in literary works that ordinary people mistakenly think. , Touching the scene, or groaning without illness.
But, of course, if a person only has perceptuality but no reason, that is, without the ability of logical reasoning, the construction of a theory (which is very academic, in fact, it is "the method of solving problems") cannot be established.
I used to be a pure liberal arts student. I read poetry and write poetry. I can easily understand the feelings in literary works. I think this is "sensibility", and I think sensibility is just a description of personality that is easily triggered by such emotions. Until I discovered an interest in philosophy, and then tried to read philosophy, of course I encountered setbacks in the middle. I found that my rational ability was not so good. I couldn't understand many theories and did not understand the logical reasoning process, but I succeeded in overcoming it one after another, knowing that rationality is possible. After the accumulation of training, I also found that I enjoy rational thinking, and then I know that I am a very rational person.
In the past, I was always said to be a perceptual person. Now when my friends read my posts, no one dares to say that I am perceptual. I also feel that I am stubborn with some sentences (this is rationality, follow the context, and peel off the cocoon).
For a while, I couldn’t write elegant and delicate literary works. I was very disappointed: (...I’m really sad, because I can’t accept the style of literary writing, such as transformation, anthropomorphic rhetoric, and even the needs of modern poetry. With the ability of highly abstract thinking, my words seem to have no soul, just a accumulation of symbols.
However, when I project my mind again and calm down to pay attention to the details of the external environment, and with the contextual thinking method trained in philosophy, I can more delicately observe things, emotions (such move
was the only thing), this problem will be solved, and I can write better modern poetry, because poetry is an abstract statement may seem irrational, but it can pass these entire poem It's like
a broken sentence written by a schizophrenic person to present a clear theme of writing. I am very excited about these discoveries.
I haven't finished "Dark Heart". It's still in my home, in my room, The drawer next to my bed used to be my bedtime reading. One of the main reasons is that his story theme is too far away from my real life in the concrete jungle. It can fade for a day. Reality and car exhaust all smear my face. The gray-headed face—oh, this is romance, live in reality, but don’t forget the distance.
I hope I can finish "Heart of Darkness" soon and see what makes you feel that way.
Compared with it, "Shadow of the Wind" is almost two kinds of books, and it is much more "childlike". (I can't describe it well, but "Shadow of the Wind" is indeed a book with a complicated story and so full of exploratory nature. I can't explain it in a few words.)
Regarding your major, you only mentioned that you are a science major. This is not very unbalanced. You know my current or even previous department, but I don't know your specific major. Would you like to provide more information, L?
Before watching the movie, I went downstairs to pick up things and went upstairs to pass the study room. I saw a few mainland exchange students studying in it. Although they seemed to be reading extracurricular books, they reminded me to catch up with the course progress. It is half past nine, and there is still some time, I am going to read a book.
I had never heard of that sentence you shared before. I checked it and it turned out to be Hu Lancheng's sentence! ——But I haven't read Hu Lancheng's works. Don't laugh at me. L. Zhang Ailing has read some of them, but they can't be called too many.
So I also responded to a sentence about "spring" and "love".
Not tired of youth, not seeing Zhu Mingyi.
The Southern Song Dynasty landscape poet Xie Lingyun's "You Nan Ting" poem describes the beautiful spring scenery, but the poem begins to lament that he hasn't enjoyed the beauty of the spring, but the years have not allowed people to move on, and then expounded the life worries in his heart.
Last month, it was April that the spring was overflowing, and the earth was rejuvenating. I really enjoyed the warmth of spring in Taipei and Beijing. I often sighed why the day is so fast and dark, I haven't enjoyed it all in the pleasant day. The joy of life, I
also realize that I am about to graduate soon, and my life is going to the end, but I still haven't enjoyed my life, especially my university life, I can't help but sigh.
Xie’s original words were: "You are not tired of youth, and you have seen Zhu Mingyi."
I changed the word, hoping that L’s youth will be full of joy, not drunk or return, if you have not enjoyed it, your soul will not be old and not watch the sunset ( Zhu Ming originally refers to the sun).
May your youth be wonderful, L, in the way your soul tends.
Y
I would just come back as a soldier and I was very confused... I felt that time was slipping away from me a little bit. I was confused and didn't know what to do. She gave me some very interesting insights. Tell me what happened in her life, like a sun. So I think my college experience is very meaningful. Basically it is the classroom-study room-dormitory. I have fun in it and learned something that I will need in the future.
Later, in the next semester of junior year, that year, I fell in love with a girl, and I didn’t know where the love came from, and didn’t know where it ended. After chasing for some time, I learned that someone had a boyfriend a long time ago, probably just like what Mr. Mu Xin said. , The former cause has not known the consequences, the latter fruit has long forgotten the former cause, and the way afterwards is probably the kind of love that cannot be used. The original character is introverted. Later days, he fell down, failed to find a job, and suffered some bad health. I don’t want to talk about my hair loss. I didn’t look good in the first place. I got fatter as I ate. I was sluggish every day. My personality became more and more fragile. Later, I didn’t dare to look into each other’s eyes and couldn’t speak. , The whole person is like a walking dead, until now...
And I and her... In the days that followed, a lot of things happened. She didn’t like me. This was a very clear thing. But I kept bothering her. Maybe it was the first time I was too deep, or I always treated her. I can’t forget, I hope she will like me. I deleted countless times on WeChat. In the end, the verification of adding friends disappeared automatically. I was beaten countless times. Sometimes I wondered whether I liked or obsessed. Maybe The best way is that I am not contacting her...
At that time, because of this incident, I didn't want to live. I burned cigarette butts on my arm. I was afraid of being seen by my mother. It feels boring. Life is like that. When I eat at home, I eat a lot of food every time. When I feel that I eat too much, I feel so stupid that I don’t think about anything. I feel a swollen belly. I really want to have a few moments when I can quietly leave. Go, people related to me will not be sad.
The work after that is neither good nor bad. The company doesn’t work overtime much, and the environment is pretty good. My colleagues keep me warm, the salary is not high, and I feel that I have grown personally, but the growth is not particularly strong. It’s about business. There is little contact, the development model of the development team, one or two people are responsible for a project, the code specification is not particularly clear, and the core coding will not be handed over to me to write. The technology is integrated with the R&D department, so it is similar to secondary development. , I was probably like this when I just graduated, but I can't wait for this kind of growth.
In 2021, I hope my family will be safe. I hope that every kind person can be favored by fate.
新年新计划：
- I hope that this year, I can go on as planned and will not contact her, don't ask about my future, each is well, and there is no sorrow.
- I hope that this year, I can get a Red Hat certificate, read the two linux books, and build a basic knowledge system of linux.
- I hope that this year, I have an in-depth understanding of java, after reading the code optimization books, and at the same time, I can learn SpringCloud related technologies and books.
- I hope that this year, I can have time to brush algorithms and learn NLP. I can finish half of the small open source projects I have done before, write more blogs, and get the title of csdn blog expert.
- I hope that this year, if possible, I will find a company that suits me, make more money, and live up to my life. The starting point is very low, but I will work hard.
Zhihu has a very high concern,'How weak is the 27-year-old's life? ',
In 2021, I am 27 years old, but I still think that in my golden age, nothing can beat me, even if I can only live to 30 years old, even if I have never experienced love or sex. I still think so.
In the new year, I hope to be like me, confused and hesitating, and those who can’t find the meaning of life will live well... The joys and sorrows in the world have never been connected. If you live, you will live. My second aunt has cancer. These days of the New Year may be The last years are coming, but the New Year for others is still going to pass, and red envelopes are still being given out. Friends who feel that the world is not worthwhile, please live well.
“你将如何度过一生？”
“我不知道，但我将珍惜每一分钟去活着。”