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As a programmer (yuan), it is impossible to do it alone in the future. Whether in school or with classmates or with colleagues in the company, teamwork is indispensable, and quarrels and disputes are indispensable in projects. Every time I have to quarrel to prove my point of view, this is not the ultimate solution. In the future, improving yourself lies not only in technology, but also in communicating with people. The way of talking with people is even more important, which is the "cognition" or "emotional intelligence" we often mention.
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Xiaolu remembers that when he was working on a project with the team for the first time, he inevitably quarreled and debated with team members. For example, when Android was docked with the backend, the data format could be unified to complete the data processing, but during the docking, there was a problem with the data format. It’s about our Android side problems, but I take it for granted that there are problems in the background. Both sides always argue that they are right for the sake of self-esteem and dignity, but it is meaningless. The solution is actually very simple, and the problem of data format is solved by comparing the data format between the front and the back. People often call them "dogs biting dogs" when such problems occur in the company. Does it sound funny?
The above is just the things that Xiaolu experienced in real life. There are many things in life that will cause unnecessary quarrels. In fact, this meaningless quarrel can be avoided.
In most cases, the dispute will not only reconcile the twin-serving, but will add fuel to the fire, making the twins even more convinced that they are justified.
Debates never win or lose. Losing means losing and winning means winning. how do I say this? Just ask yourself, even if your debate is impeccable and proves that the other party is full of loopholes and full of nonsense, what can you do? Of course you feel good about yourself. But what about the other party? You hurt his self-esteem, made him feel inferior, and resented your victory. More importantly, "even if the other party is persuaded by the opposite opinion, he will not change his mind."
Since Xiaolu experienced it once, I have been constantly reflecting on myself. When encountering the same problem, I will calm myself down first, then control my emotions and observe whether the other person is irritable, and you can judge whether the other person is a gentleman or a villain. . Seek common ground while reserving differences. After listening to the other person's thoughts, you first think about the part you recognize. Be sincere, give in when you can, and you should admit your mistakes when you admit your mistakes, it's no big deal. Sincerely thank the other party for their attention. The other party only has time to argue with you because the other party has the same interest in this issue as you, and treats them as helping you, and is likely to turn the enemy into a friend. This is how I usually settle disputes, and the results are very good. Friends can try it.
to sum up
The former U.S. President Lincoln said to a general, “Because it is meaningless to use your spirits. Your personal affairs are too big to be too big, so you must know how to compromise on personal issues. When a dog gets in the way, it’s best to give him Dao, don’t get bitten by it just for arguing; if you are bitten, even if you kill it, your wound will not heal immediately."
Everyone will only be able to deal with some unnecessary arguments well with a little attention in life, and then can they reflect your quality and personality.