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Path of growth - Chen Yahao
Share one recently read an article in a book with you, I feel good, so that we always have a few feelings, on the other hand carved down, and the king of mutual encouragement.
A good buddy D , daily living day and night life upside down when freshman sophomore, eyes open every day and residential quarters of people together to play games, no class and do not participate in any school activities did not pursue a dream I do not know, just keep enjoy the fun of squandered youth, people like this, when everyone around him in the enjoyment of the fall, you get a wonderful fall psychological comfort. May D is long overdue and I talk to him I felt the emptiness of this life, but has been unable to extricate yourself, people are afraid of loneliness, fear of not having a sense of belonging, even if people want to take the courage to want to go its own way when other people's words, "how do you so loner." will be no fighting, but to continue to compromise his paralysis. To the junior, D face their first two years of life pale into the endless void of remorse, from resolutely get up at six every day to the library to struggle any longer to participate in recreational activities before, initially those friends are in his opening joke, that he is two days fresh, I did not think has been insisting for a semester. And can be connected to the friends who is beginning to alienate him, and he pulled away and discuss "He changed, he is now very gregarious" topic in the back, he again fell into confusion, he was just himself the struggle for the future, but efforts to want to get a full life, but I did not expect my friends, isolated. He started hesitant, wavering heart, want to work hard and yet do not want to lose friends, these confused shake his resolve, once again affected the speed of his progress. Seniors heard a story, this school seniors in the domestic first-class university, found a business opportunity maverick sophomore, threw all courses begin to accumulate a network of people who look for partners in the community, to make the sum of money after one year , keen vision and extraordinary courage earned him the envy of his peers jealous hate success, wood show in the forest, the wind will destroy, he began to receive some friends of exclusion, and accusations that he was a bad rumor, teachers and classmates think he ought not tell the severity, he finally could not stand such a life, even if another big achievement to get back to campus not get recognized but contempt and denial, he did not withstand the pressure, he withdrew from the business back to campus , start and other students on the course of their daily fact simply does not make sense, and occasionally splurge and friends at the youth campus life together, watching their step by step, began to return the mediocre from good. In China is such that only moderation in the end to get a more balanced life, but never successful and talented people favored moderation, is living a lifetime of mediocrity in the crowd, still hold out a lonely withstand question they want to life, you have to make a choice himself. You think you do not sweep the Xing friend, trying to mingle with everyone, in fact, this may be abandoned own life to waste their youth. The reality is that for many years after graduation when the students once again gathered together, someone was admitted to graduate into the state-owned venture was successful, someone holding a thin monthly salary dawdle, someone living a life muddling along, it was not yet decided the future path of. It was constantly complaining about the injustice of life, someone tells wonderful pride of his life. Which one do you? The most painful regret in life is to dream and then never brave battles, the most regrettable for the future is never filled with blood a go. That is, a person most in need of the day over a period of stubborn silence, immersed in their own lonely and full of power struggle and efforts. University two years ago that he always really deal with every friend, care about each individual's feelings, while efforts to accelerate the pace of growth, while seeking only because they fear running forward ignore them, obviously they have a lot of time fine tired fatigue or power to do for each friend responsive, obviously his heart hold back many difficulties no one to talk to or tried to comfort everyone who came to talk to, just do not want them to feel left out, resulting in a distance from each other. Always strive to maintain good every friend, try to live each piece of treasure the friendship, then he can live more and more tired, physically and mentally exhausted. Read an article about the psychology, the article said that if a person is overly concerned about a friend's feelings are responsive generosity to anyone, even if their hardship and hurt other people will not have to say "no" to this person too unselfish character is a kind of morbid. And this selfless and kind attitude to meet the final hurt is yourself. Care about each friend's feelings, always selfless behind last is usually mental anguish, emptiness, a sense of contradiction, confusion and intense anxiety. When administered to cater become a reason to live , that person is no longer a person. Too much to please others is a flood of goodness, but also to pay a high price and finally by a person of their own to bear. And if a person is too submissive , he can not stand up for themselves , not their own voice , and that will ultimately be bullied. If a person is always in a submissive role and pay, one day just because of his exhaustion simply can not afford to refuse once, then that person will look in the eyes of others become selfish indifference of the people, more people would accuse him. " you've changed, now how do you become like this. "such is human thinking, but the movie people who cold-blooded selfishness of all kinds of evil at the last did something to help others do or sacrifice their own time when we would be deeply touched, can not help but sigh, "that he is a good man, that we have misunderstood him." When the hearts of everyone nice guy too tired too bitter, the most cruel is that he will gradually be overlooked his feelings, he gradually became invincible in the eyes of others is not a diamond worry and pain, and difficulties can only own heart to the stomach pharynx. Always take into account each individual's feelings, will gradually live in fear of rejection and failure, the loss of self, often self-blame, unable to choose, and gradually the people around about the outcome of relationships insecure, filled with low self-esteem and powerlessness, fear of one day being isolated. Obviously these people are your friends, but you have to tie him down because they were in the path of growth and bondage. 朋友，是自己选的亲人。真正的朋友无论在你落魄还是荣耀时都会一如既往的支持你，无论你做出怎样的抉择都会鼓励你相信你，你一句话不说他也会明白你心中的苦闷与快乐。你的苦衷在他面前从来不需诉说，他会在你看不到的地方默默的帮助你。无论曾经的你是什么样，未来的你是什么样，在他眼里从来都还是那个最简单的你。 而那些只会在你身上一味索取的人，总是要求你如何的人，远远称不上朋友二字。真正爱你的人，会用你所需要的方式去爱你。不爱你的人，只会用他所需要的方式去爱你。 那些总是说“你变了”的人，只是因为你没有再按照他们所给你设定的轨迹生活而已。真正的朋友永远是无论嘴上如何骂你，可在心里始终包容你的缺点理解你的苦衷，希望你过的好的那个人。不需要每日的酒肉陪伴，不需要那么多的问候和寒暄，需要他时，一个电话，就会走到你面前陪你披荆斩棘。记住那些一直陪伴着你懂你的人，忘记那些说你变了远离你的人。 成长的道路上不要让“朋友”牵绊了脚步，而那些牵绊你的人也算不上真正的朋友，不要也罢。 只有你变的足够强大，才可以保护好你爱的人。这个社会太多险恶和残酷，不走出温暖的校园是不会感受到的。爱一个人不是每日的甜言蜜语和酒肉陪伴，而是自己的发愤图强。你是想多年后看到他们受到伤害时只能坐在她身边陪她流泪，还是想要自己有足够的能力给他们欢笑和保护。 最好的友情，不是陪伴。而是你有足够的能力在他们需要你的时候给他们最大的帮助和支持。 只有懦弱的人才离不开群居的生活，而活在人群之中只会逐渐被同化，磨灭你的斗志，扰乱你的思想，放慢你的脚步，打碎你的梦想。 你所有的焦虑，对自己所有的不满意和迷茫，都是因为你和梦想的距离越来越远，和理想中的自己差的越来越多，能改变这一切的只有你自己，谁也帮不了你，你要清楚，成长的路上注定是孤独的，变强的路上注定是沉默的。成长容不得你的等待，更没时间让你踌躇。 要回应别人的需求,要尽力的去帮助周围的人，但前提是不能为此违背自身意愿。人要学会爱别人，但首先要学会爱自己。 你所有的焦虑，对自己所有的不满意和迷茫，都是因为你和梦想的距离越来越远，和理想中的自己差的越来越多，能改变这一切的只有你自己，谁也帮不了你。你要清楚，成长的道路上注定是孤独的，变强的路上注定是沉默的。成长容不得你的等待，更没有时间让你踌躇。 去努力为自己的未来向前奔跑吧，人生就是这样一条充满残酷和矛盾的旅途，我们谁也无法逃避。那些真正爱的人终会理解你，而那些不爱你的人也会在这条旅途上被甩下，不用回头也不用叹息，就当是一个自然筛选的过程。人生知己二三便足矣，在意的人太多反而会丢了那些真正爱你的人，还会丢了自己。 |
