1
A few days ago, to our company renovated Xugong back home in Sichuan to buy new homes.
Xugong forty odd, do carpentry twenty years, raised three baby. He said that originally would like to save some money to buy a small property in Shenzhen. Life and death, but his wife does not agree.
Xugong wife talk every time he returns home, whenever met with the students chatted about the house on a person consciously low. Because we all bought a house, only she did not. She always time to time to take "other people are saying, four years old to buy a house is not a loser," so stimulating Xugong.
Women never say what they feel, is always "someone else said," how how.
Xugong said: "Bale Bale, Shenzhen slightly better the lot of small property have two or three million, Country Garden is also our home only five or six thousand, had just bought a home no matter where he is always considered to have a room. Age will not tolerate such a big room of ridicule and not be looked down upon. "
Forty years old did not buy a house or buy a house even if the failure before the age of forty?
2
On this issue, I wrote a few days ago, "the Shenzhen middle-aged unemployed under the" message in the background, no less than ten messages mentioned in the text of the unemployed say do not deserve sympathy because he was 40 years old to buy a house has been a failure.
I vow in the face of a cake fortieth birthday, the first promise is, "From now, we do not fight for the selection of winners and losers."
But these messages and Xugong experience to stimulate me, so I feel the need on a theory.
Talk about failure, first look at what is the definition of failure?
Can I say twenty to buy a house, but thirty not married can be considered a failure? You can say whether a house, car, deposits no shortage of everything, but just do not educate the boy can be considered a failure? Unfortunately, whether he failed marriage? Today went to a place called the largest Tieling be considered a failure? In addition to brush the phone Aspect entertainment gossip, never read a book had never been to the theater count as a failure?
Part of unemployed middle-aged man's story did not finish. I am from the beginning of his unemployment, but there are times when fun to drink, he would talk ago.
When he was also half a green paper, after graduating from college earn a little money to get around. A trip through a border smuggling them to India, the Indian army as a result of being spies arrested. All kinds of torture on the movie again, had nothing to ask out, then gave sent back.
28 years old, from Chengdu to see the foot of Everest. The result was almost as high anti-death on the road.
29-year-old bought a motorcycle to travel around the world, encountered robbers in Israel, motorcycle mobile wallet robbed bare, Leng Shimo people what matter.
He said he was beginning to know how much money to save money after marriage, also began after a man had children aware of the responsibility and burden of family.
He said that in the past all the experience appears to stimulate, in fact, do not need much objective conditions, as long as the young and a little money on it. For middle-aged myself, every day doing all they can to ensure a safe and people lead a normal life.
I put back some of the comments that he was about to fail him. He laughed noncommittal. Last night on my micro letter left a large section of the words:
"At my age and stage of life, if you go to war to argue, then I really lost.
Young, feel special Niubi, can control everything. Tali towards the longer, the more find their mediocre and incompetent, and finally you can really find their own fate in the hands of very few.
Quite boring.
Many of our choice, not what you want or do not want to be able to decide, along with changes in the environment, roles, needs, desires and constantly changing. I am single time has always been a little money to do the things you like, buy a house and more tacky. Not to mention now it is also difficult to pay for the year chic. Although there are hard, but nowadays I never complain, never get mad chase that year. Sometimes people quiet at night looking back, I love all that comfortable wanton year, not secular is not sophisticated kid.
What is not to buy a house, you buy thirty, forty buy me, early and late thing. But in addition there are some things you do not then you never do. From my point of view, focusing instead on making money and those who simply did not look up at the road to see whether human beauty can be considered a failure? "
At the end, he also imitated poet Zhang date to the sentence "At least I will not have such a psychological situation: I remember that when not done a thing, Plum will be covered with the mountain"
Middle-aged hypocritical basically used to laugh at yourself.
3
We swap stories yet another forty buy a house.
I am the story more. This is a time with the old exchange from, and are not worth showing off a little envy.
A twenty-year-old old Huaqiang North opened a mobile phone shop. That was the whole North Huaqiang the first to sell Apple's mobile phone shop. Just a few months down the old A earned millions.
See Qian Haozhuan, Huaqiang North almost overnight all sell Apple's mobile phone shop. A just leave the old, the store transferred to someone else. Cary Chuaizhe ten million small wandering around looking for other opportunities.
Shenzhen Nanshan wound up housing prices or the word head, as long as there is a two million, Nanshan hundreds of big flat house pick. Now this house ten million get down.
But the old A to take the money to do something else to go. Ending as you might expect, all folded into it.
Ten years later, when the old A with me in order to wage a desperate company, asked why then he did not sell the phone earned all the money into the house?
“买房子弄球嘞？当时又不需要，我又不爱这个东西。我去做点自己喜欢的事情不更好？”
老A喜欢新鲜事物，那是刚兴起来机器人，他把所有钱投了进去。
这次没有卖手机那样的好运，折腾了几年也没像企业愿景所描述那般做大做强。最后不得已，清退了员工，关闭了公司，又从打工开始。
不过但凡知道他故事的人，为其惋惜的有，但从未有人觉得他失败。
一个男人，起起伏伏，大闹一场，只会让人觉得帅。
千万别假设如果他当年几百万买房了会怎样怎样。用结果来反推、然后产生无数懊恼与幻想是我们不快乐的病根之一。如果能够提前知道房价这般疯涨，别说老A当年有一笔闲钱，即便换做你我穷人，也能在当年借遍所有百公里内的裙带关系买上几套。
如果可以如果的话，这个世界哪还来得不如意。
去年老A又拿着打工攒下的钱创业去了。这次折腾的是AI。
4
深圳从不缺少有钱人，不过不是每一个有钱人都以买房子作为成功标志。认识那么几个公司做得很好的创业者，宁肯每个月花一万多的租金住别墅，也不愿买房子。他们的一个共同点是首先让自己舒服，而不是把房子当评判成败标尺。
人生道路千万条，为何对买不买房如此耿耿于怀？设目标可以，活成刻板定义下的目标就是傻。
我们之所以焦虑，之所以惶恐不安，大部分原因在于活在别人的标尺里。
人生一场，林林总总无非三件事：赚钱，爱，看世界。
要看你如何来为这三件事排序。基本上你的排序将决定你生活里人、事、物的出场顺序。如果有人将赚钱排在第三位，无论多少岁买房都很正常，又何来失败一说？