How do project managers manage communication and emotions well?

Background information

  By doing a good job in workplace communication and emotional management, you can get along well with colleagues and leaders. I think 80% of the problems in the workplace are caused by communication. I believe everyone knows this. Everyone hopes to become a professional in the workplace by improving their communication skills.

1. Workplace communication

1.1 Main reasons for communication difficulties in the workplace

There are three main ones:

1) Everyone’s knowledge reserve and information structure are different

  There are no two people who look exactly the same in the world, especially in the workplace. People in the workplace are affected by different growth environments, different professional backgrounds, and different positions, which makes everyone different in terms of knowledge reserve, understanding ability, and way of thinking, such as projects. There are many senior executives in the management industry, as well as many novices in the workplace. The greater the difference, the higher the cost of communication and the more difficult it is to reach a consensus.

2) The language itself has many limitations

  As the saying goes, books cannot express what they say, and words cannot express what they mean. The information that language can carry is always limited, and it is also affected by everyone's tone, emotion, and knowledge reserve. When we communicate, it is difficult for language to fully express the information we want to convey, and different people will have different understandings of the same sentence or word, and sometimes they will even be very different, leading to misunderstandings.

3) Self-centered thinking mode

  Many people actually think in a self-centered way. In everything, you only consider your own position and do not take into account the feelings of others. For example, I am obviously solving your problem for you, but I think you want me to be a nanny to help you out. There are quite a few such giant babies in the workplace.

1.2 Three mentality of communication

1) Poor empathy

  I think you should understand what I'm saying. The other person is just a roundworm in his stomach, so he should be able to understand what I say. If you don’t understand, I’m too lazy to tell you. Just think about it yourself.

2) Poor information transmission ability

  I always feel that I have spoken very clearly, but the other person just doesn't understand. Perhaps, others know less background information than you do, and information asymmetry leads to different conclusions. For example, if you treat a girl to ice cream and she doesn’t want to eat it, it’s not because she doesn’t like you, but maybe she is on her period.

3) Ignore each other

  It's none of my business and none of your business. Why should I take the initiative to find you? So the two sides were in a stalemate. No one took the first step for the sake of face. In the end, the responsibility for the problem was attributed to the other party.

To sum up
  , the above scenes are very similar to those with your girlfriend or you with your clients. It allows us to see the difficulty of communication in the workplace and also makes us aware of the importance of communication;

China
  has always paid attention to interpersonal relationships. As a workplace person, if you can't handle the relationship with your boss and colleagues well, you may fall into passivity in the workplace, or even be squeezed out. What skills can reduce ineffective workplace communication and the resulting consequences? How can we achieve dialogue and cooperation more efficiently and work together to achieve work goals? As the saying goes: My customers have abused me thousands of times, but I treat them like my first love.

1.3 How to communicate effectively

1) Express your thoughts clearly

  Express your thoughts clearly, instead of using metaphors, metaphors and other roundabout ways. Express directly to let the other party know what you want to say. As the expressing party, you should try your best to use words that the other party can understand to convey the meaning that needs to be expressed. , so that the other party can receive it clearly. We need to be more specific in order to reduce ambiguities and misunderstandings between the two parties as much as possible and not to let the other party guess. Accurate expression: Before communication, collect data, prepare reports, and prepare required information. Learn to use data to speak, which can greatly improve communication efficiency

2) Learn to listen to other people’s ideas

  You must learn to listen to what the other party wants to express, and do not rush to refute or express your opinions. Once the position is established, there is almost no possibility of compromise between the two parties. Listening is an ability and a quality. Professionals who know how to listen They are all quite popular. As a listener, we must maintain attention when others are expressing, do not multitask, and do not interrupt others easily. Only by keeping the brain in a state of careful listening can we effectively receive the other person's information and follow the other person's instructions. Enter the other person's world with his words and understand why he said what he said and what he meant behind it.

3) Don’t presuppose your own position

  Workplace communication is about achieving collaboration, solving problems together, and achieving overall goals. But in reality, when we encounter obstacles in communication with colleagues, or the other party holds objections, it is still easy to fall into the error of presupposing a position, or even speculate on the other party's motives for no reason.
  When we collaborate with others and the final result is different from expectations, we should also consider whether the communication between the two parties is not in place, instead of thinking that the other party is disobedient, does not work, and just wants to go against us. Therefore, we must Try to deal with the situation rather than the person, so that others can feel your kindness and honesty

4) Take the other party’s demands seriously

  Communication is just a means, and the goal to be achieved is the core appeal. When you use your goals to drive your communication, you should also take the demands of others seriously. Don't be proactive and enthusiastic when asking for help from others. If your colleagues ask you for help, you will find various excuses to shirk it, or just ignore it. Then no one will want to work with you. Remember: Only when you hold an umbrella for others will others be willing to hold an umbrella for you . When communicating, think more about the other person and let the other person feel that you are helping attentively. In this way, when you need help next time, you will get greater help from others.

5) Communicate in person rather than online

  Face-to-face communication is the most efficient method. Due to the epidemic, everyone communicates more online and is more accustomed to communicating and working through WeChat and DingTalk. However, it is really possible to explain the problem clearly and express the appeal in just a few lines. ? There is no doubt that this is very difficult, so if the matter is urgent and important, and there are many details that need to be communicated, the best way is to communicate over the phone or directly face-to-face, as the communication efficiency is higher

6) Effective communication is driven by feedback

  Effective communication is based on feedback. After you complete a communication, you must confirm the other party's feedback. If you ignore this, you will encounter a lot of trouble later. When speaking, you should look at the other person, pay attention, and encourage the other person to ask questions as much as possible. When communicating with subordinates or colleagues, ask them to repeat what they heard, or check each item several times to ensure that the other person really understands you. The meaning and appeal you want to express. When others communicate with you, you also need to respond in the same way to show that you understand or do not understand. Doing so can reduce the possibility of subsequent problems.

1.4 Basic principles of communication

1) Do the right thing instead of standing in the right team, and don’t always choose to give in and endure silently when you are wronged.

&emps;&emps;A glassy heart is a harmful thing. The more glassy you are, the more worried you are about others scolding you, the less you dare to make mistakes, the narrower the space for growth, and the more glassy you are, and you will be trapped in this vicious world for the rest of your life. In the cycle, there is nothing wrong with this sentence, but it depends on the specific people and things you are facing. If you are always the party to compromise when faced with unreasonable, unfair and unreasonable demands, then you are cowardly and stupid.
  There is no justice and angels in the workplace, and no one will stand up to fight for you when you suffer injustice. The weaker you are, you will only suffer more and more bullying, so you must have a correct stance and argue with reason. Let yourself have a bit of edge, and believe that doing the right thing is for the good of the organization and the company, not for the good of the individual. If you don't make a fuss as a person, you will be a blockbuster. With your perseverance, others will make appropriate concessions to you, which is also a manifestation of execution ability.

2) Don’t try to change your colleagues’ minds

  You come to the company to make money, not to teach others. Therefore, when you get along with your colleagues, you only need to be able to work together. When you disagree on a certain point of view, as long as it does not affect the overall situation, stance or business trend, in the end, The best way is to remain silent or pass it off. It is also important to learn to compromise, because you are not a family living together, and you do not need to have the same views. We are all adults, and it is difficult to change just because of a few words from you, especially lead

3) Don’t always be a hand-in-hand party

  No matter how well you know how to manage workplace relationships, nothing can compare to your actual work ability. Nothing is taken for granted in the workplace. When you receive cooperation and help from others , remember to express your gratitude, such as sending a small red envelope to express your gratitude, or telling the other person that you will have future plans. Just ask when you need it, but those who only ask for something but don't give anything will definitely be disliked and disliked. If you don't have real work ability, even if others ask for your help, they will still look down on you from the bottom of their hearts. On the surface, they are polite to you, but as soon as something goes wrong, they will immediately choose to protect themselves and cut you off, and you will not get any substantial help at all.
  On the other hand, even if you don’t usually spend a lot of energy on maintaining interpersonal relationships, but your work ability is convincing, your colleagues and leaders around you will be assured of you, will pay more attention to you, and can help you at critical times. Bundle. Those who like to think about how to build relationships all day long and do not spend their energy on work and self-improvement will find it difficult to obtain strong support and long-term development in the workplace.

4) The essence of society is the exchange of interests

  The so-called essence of relationships and connections is the process of exchange of interests. It is not useful just by sticking to someone. In other words, don’t always think about expanding your communication and business connections. Don't form small groups or cliques, and don't trade your secrets for so-called positions or factions. It seems that after I share any secrets or privacy with you, I will be in the same group with you. The friends you gain in this way are likely to look down on you in their hearts.
  When you are valuable enough to bring benefits to others, the people you associate with will become your connections. Otherwise, even if your friend list is hundreds of pages long, no one will reach out when you need help. Use your ability to get acquainted. More friends are the only way to have a strong network; you must distinguish between leaders, colleagues and friends. It cannot be said that you cannot make friends in the workplace, or that you cannot become good friends with colleagues and leaders. It’s just that in the workplace, if you keep an appropriate distance from your colleagues and leaders, neither alienating nor being too close, everyone will feel more comfortable getting along with each other. Moreover, when we put the relationship between colleagues rather than friends first in workplace interactions, it is actually beneficial to the development of daily work and mutual collaboration. We should realize the difference between "professional interactions" and "personal
  interactions". Boundaries are very important. Bringing a meal and a bottle of water, buying breakfast, and asking for afternoon tea do not essentially constitute an exchange of interests. This kind of relationship will soon fade with the resignation.

5) Meditate on your own mistakes and don’t criticize other people’s faults. Don’t talk bad about others behind their backs.

  There are two disadvantages of talking about people behind their backs: first, it will make people think that your character is not good. You do one thing in front of others and do another behind the scenes. If you have opinions, you can only hide behind your back and secretly speak ill of others; second, every word you say It is possible that it will reach the ears of the parties concerned, because relationships in the workplace are very unstable and may be affected by interests at any time. It is also important not to get involved in the private lives of colleagues and to maintain a sense of boundaries in interactions with colleagues. Keep an appropriate distance from your colleagues, and don't invade other people's "territory" at will, let alone pry into other people's privacy. Especially talking about other people's private lives in public will make people think that you are of poor quality and uneducated.
  In today's fast-paced and high-pressure environment, everyone is under various pressures, including life pressure, performance pressure, promotion pressure, etc. You must always pay attention to your own emotional management in daily communication and communication. , a lot of communication is the same as the docking of R&D, it is a three-way handshake process. You look for me, I look for you, you tell me again that you have received it. The same is true for emotional communication. Don’t be overwhelmed by emotions in the first step of communication. Influence, making invalid communication, resulting in the failure to complete the next two steps, this is invalid communication.

2. Emotional management

2.1 Recognize the essence of emotion management

  Emotions are inherently a part of our bodies. Happiness, joy, loss, anger, collapse, excitement, etc. are all normal feelings that people have. Having emotions does not mean being childish, vulnerable, or immature. We should manage our emotions, not control them. The purpose of managing emotions is not to avoid negative emotions, but to allow yourself to feel negative emotions when you have them, understand them, accept and express them , and then adjust yourself to return to a state of physical and mental balance.
  Don't complain about your misfortunes when you meet people. In fact, few people will really care about your joys and sorrows. No one's life is a piece of cake. They just don't want to expose you because of their face. Learn to digest your own misery late at night. This is towards maturity. The first step is to live a life without a long night of pain. Only when you have been severely trampled by society, your dignity has been rubbed on the ground, and your three views have collapsed, can you fully understand society and human nature. Many novices in the workplace, especially newcomers, cannot handle the smallest things. In fact, it is difficult to handle them. Very useful

2.2 Clarify the direction of emotion management

1) First of all, the workplace skills to be improved

  Bad emotions are most likely to appear when we encounter difficulties at work and are unable to do anything. If we continue to improve skills related to our career and growth goals, we can indirectly reduce and alleviate negative emotions. For example, you can learn how to plan your work better, how to use your time more efficiently, how to communicate effectively in the workplace, and so on. When you become prepared and at ease at work, you will naturally feel confident and calm inside.
  When people reach middle age, their careers are on the decline . You must face a cruel fact: after working for 10 years, you are already an old man in the workplace. If you don’t have core competitiveness that you can master, accumulate more resources than others, and cultivate a vision higher than that of your peers, how can you compare with the fresh graduates? So don't be afraid of hard work when you are young, the salary is less than you. When you are 35 years old and still being managed by 25-year-old juniors, you will feel deeply powerless. So don’t be afraid of hard work when you are young. If you pay more when you are young, you will be more calm in middle age. Growth is the most important thing when you first enter the workplace. Don’t worry about whether the salary is 5k or 6k. After 10 years, you will find that It's very possible that your income in one month is more than you earned in the whole year after you graduated. It all depends on how fast you grew up when you were young.

2) Secondly, slow down the pace, develop hobbies, and learn to relax

The current high-pressure and fast-paced social environment has put many people's bodies and minds in a state of high tension for a long time. It seems that everyone has accumulated a pile of emotions, which is like a powder keg ready to explode. Slow down your rhythm and relax your tense nerves. After work, you might as well give yourself more time to relax, develop some hobbies, read more books, listen to music, climb mountains, and do some relaxation training. Wait, this will actually improve your work efficiency, your mentality will become more peaceful and friendly, and you will have less and less free time after work. Don't think about reading hundreds of books a year. If you half I can read one book in a month, and I can read more than 20 books in a year. This is already more than most people. If you can read the book thoroughly, it will be enough for a lifetime. Every inch you make will bring you the joy of making progress. Whenever you have the opportunity, ask your seniors and old colleagues for advice. The fastest way for a newcomer to make progress is to find the top experts you can contact and ask them for advice humbly. The core ideas and methods of an industry will never be written in any book. The only shortcut is to communicate and learn from capitalists.

2.3 Learn how to manage emotions

1) In the stage of conflict, you must first control your physiological state and rhythm.

  The human body and mind are integrated. When we are angry, the secretion of adrenaline will tighten the muscles and speed up the blood flow, making the whole person tense. When we relax, our emotions will naturally become peaceful.
  We need to use deep breathing and other methods to relax the body and the brain will calm down accordingly, avoiding excessive reactions and actions that may cause irreparable consequences. No matter who is at fault or who is at fault, force yourself not to face this matter for the time being. Let’s talk about it in a few minutes, an hour or two, or a day or two. Force yourself to calm down, shut up, and stop talking.
  Interrupt the emotion by diverting one's attention to avoid further expansion of the emotion. Many times there are conflicts, even if you sit in different positions, it has nothing to do with who is right or wrong. First of all, you must know how to deal with things rather than people. This will allow us to have a basis for advancing and retreating in our interactions with colleagues, which will help resolve conflicts in the workplace and help solve problems quickly. When our emotions are stable, we can communicate calmly and proceed to the next step of communication and processing.

2) After emotions appear, quickly vent them and control them.

  Such as interrupting emotions, diverting attention, and telling yourself to mute words. For existing emotions, girls may choose to eat, sing, or shop, while boys may choose to play games, run, or drink. These conventional ways of venting emotions are indeed useful, but they cannot fundamentally achieve the effect of catharsis. I recommend approaching it scientifically.
  My personal experience is to use logical mind maps and fish bones to force myself to analyze things and the causes of problems , force myself to calm down, record and sort out what happened step by step, and constantly reflect on the true process of things instead of Indulging in emotional catharsis, I personally feel that the effect is actually very good

3) Through rational thinking training, we can enhance personal emotional management ability, quickly calm down emotions, and cultivate rational thinking.

  When we put aside personal emotions and analyze the performance of everyone in the incident with an objective and calm attitude, when we review and reflect on our emotions and behaviors at the time, we can extract many experiences and methods that can be learned and changed. Make yourself more rational.
As a human being, you should leave room for others, don't take away all the credit, and don't be unreasonable and unforgiving . When someone else is on the stage, if you dismantle the ladder for them to get off the stage, they will jump down and fight with you. In the end, you will be the one who suffers. Your leader is also a human being, and he will
  have all kinds of annoying shortcomings, but he can sit down. In that position, there must be something special about it. If you think your leader is stupid, and think about how much money you earn is not as good as that of a stupid person, you should learn from his strengths. This is how you take responsibility for your own life, instead of going to work like a resentful woman every day and complaining about your colleagues and boss. Looking for a sense of superiority. One of the reasons why I don’t like those project management groups is that most people just complain and communicate without seeking solutions to problems. They are just venting their emotions.
It is necessary to strengthen self-esteem and improve self-efficacy . Don't work with emotions. Napoleon once said: A person who can control his emotions is greater than a general who can capture a city . The fundamental reason why many people are easily angered is that they have not established a stable self-worth system and do not have a clear and stable understanding of themselves.
  When you have your own value standards and stable views, you will not be easily influenced by others, and you will get angry after just a few words. Therefore, strengthening your beliefs and having a clear and stable understanding of yourself is actually the core part of improving emotional management. Lei Jun once said: Always be young, always have tears in your eyes. Don’t just focus on the pain of work and forget about it. sweet . Learn to love life, keep an open mind, and have the interest and courage to try new things.

3. Conclusion

  I hope everyone can have a positive attitude towards workplace communication and management, and touch, feel, and accept emotions instead of trying to control or escape them . Because when we run away from it, we really miss the opportunity to grow and master more effective emotional management skills, such as re-evaluating emotions, accepting emotions, etc., which can free ourselves from the control of emotions and at the same time improve workplace interpersonal relationships. By applying the principles flexibly, you will be more comfortable in future workplace interactions, become a person popular with colleagues, face work more positively and brightly, and live peacefully.