Original title: Why should I desperately climb out of the bottom society?
Text | Su Xixi
Last summer, my family went to Dalian for a trip, and we met professional fishermen at the seaside. The locals called them sea-touching people. If these sea-touching people caught crabs, one of them would definitely cover the bamboo basket. Instead, don't cover it.
The man who touched the sea explained that a crab would climb up and escape, and if there were two or more, no matter which one wanted to climb up, the others would stretch out their crab claws and pull it down.
I shuddered, thinking of my own childhood.
When I was a child, my family lived at the foot of a big mountain. It was very closed, and it was more than ten miles away from the nearest town. The poverty and backwardness there are still shocking even now.
The poorer I became, the more children I gave birth to. My grandmother gave birth to more than a dozen children, and several of them died. When they came to my mother, seeing that they could not support them, they gave them to others to raise them. Fortunately, my new grandmother loved my mother very much and sent her to school by smashing the pot and selling iron. At that time, it was popular to go to junior high school and go to secondary school directly. He was suspended after only half a year of study.
At that time, my mother was regarded as a "high-caliber student" in the village and was hired as a private teacher by the village primary school. My father was a soldier who was transferred to work and belonged to the public family who ate "commercial food" in the county town. The two of them had been together since childhood.
My dad's brain is very active. When he was young, he collected cotton, sold pesticides, and did various small businesses. In addition to the wages of my mother and two, he soon had a small savings. At this time, the county vigorously supported the breeding industry. After discussing with my mother, I decided to raise fish.
In the late 1980s, this was definitely something that required a lot of courage to do. The investment was too large and the prospects were uncertain. Besides, even if the fish were well-raised, in this great northwest where everyone is used to eating wheat noodles, it would really Can it be sold?
But my dad was very optimistic about this sideline business, and persuaded my mother and my second uncle successively. The two families jointly invested and contracted a fish pond. He was responsible for contacting experts and providing technology. After a year of careful breeding, all the fry finally matured. It sold very well, and the large hotels in the county were in short supply, and the prices rose again and again.
In just one year, not only the cost is fully recovered, but there is also a slight surplus.
After my second uncle's publicity, my grandfather and two aunts also excitedly asked to participate. The five families handed over almost all of their net worth to my father, and the fish pond was expanded on a large scale.
Everyone was full of longing, and they got up early and worked in the dark. Seeing that it was the harvest time again, the fish were fat and mouth-watering, but our whole family suffered a disaster in the early morning of one day.
Yes, you are right, someone secretly put a lot of pesticides in my fish pond.
The first thing I discovered was my grandfather, who was used to getting up early every day. Before he even got to the fish pond, he smelled a strong odor and shouted the name of my second uncle. The second uncle slept in a temporary thatched shed beside the fish pond. He rubbed his sleepy eyes and got up when he heard the shouts. He was stunned as soon as he walked out of the hut. The pungent smell of pesticides permeated the entire fish pond, and a layer of white belly floated on the water surface, which was no exaggeration.
My grandfather was already kneeling by the fish pond, his hands trembling as he picked up the fish one by one, and he burst into tears: "A sin, a sin!"
After saying this, he passed out by the fish pond.
Sent to the hospital, he was diagnosed with a stroke. Grandpa lay in bed for three years, and finally passed away.
The last sentence he said clearly in his life was, "A sin, a sin!" The
fish pond incident made our entire family return to a state of extreme poverty. Although no one blamed him, my father once blamed himself to the point of being completely incorrigible and inhuman. .
Later, my mother often told me that after that incident, she swore that even if she desperately died, she must stay away from that destitute and jealous class.
At that time, she was just a villager-run teacher, with no staff. She belonged to a person who could be dismissed from home by the principal with a single word. However, she had a good foundation and was smart. At that time, she saw that the county could recruit English teachers on the condition that she had a college recognized by the state. Diploma, she immediately determined to use this as the first choice to get out of the farm gate.
easier said than done?
You must know that she was studying Russian in school at that time, and it was almost impossible for a rural woman who had no basic knowledge to get a college diploma in English in that stagnant era.
But my mother did it. It took only two years by self-examination.
No one knows how she served the grandfather lying on the bed, took care of our young brothers and sisters, did heavy farm work, and taught elementary school students at the same time, and passed all the subjects of the self-study exam in the shortest time. .
All I can say is that it was a miracle.
My mother finally entered the junior high school in the town as a teacher in the establishment.
Her pronunciation may be lame, but the average grades of the classes she teaches are always the first and second. The principal sees her and always smiles. She is always on the list for various advanced selections.
Our brothers and sisters followed her, transferred to the "commercial grain" household registration, sold the village base in our hometown, and moved into the family area of the school. Since then, we have truly been far away from the remote village that once brought us countless nightmares.
From now on, don't have to worry anymore. Some people will use the name of pouring the land, and the diversion canal water will flow under the wall of my house, and the newly built
earth wall will collapse. Don't worry anymore. When it rains, the water will not flow out, and the room will be submerged half a foot deep.
Don't worry, you will encounter all kinds of injustice and tricks when dividing the land. It is often assigned to the most barren, remote, and unwilling to take over the terraced fields.
Yes, all of this is because my dad is a "public family" with an iron rice bowl, because my family's economic situation is slightly better than the surrounding villagers.
For a long time, we have been scolded by the villagers for borrowing money under various excuses and not repaying it.
If we must find a reason, there is only one. Our family is the crab that is unwilling to stay safe and stay in the bamboo basket. If you want to climb out, the other crabs will get on it together, and they will definitely drag you down and then quickly.
Everyone is trapped in a dark cage, why do you want to escape such suffocation and despair?
We can't get out, you don't want to go, everyone, you watch me, I watch you, all rotting and degenerating in the poisonous swamp - what a terrible, sad and dark human nature!
The less resources per capita, the more difficult it is for people to be honest.
At the lowest level of life, ignorance, ignorance, hatred, and evil are not just verbal attacks, but facts to a large extent.
Some people say that under the line of life and death, each other hurts each other, and the line between rich and poor is bleak and difficult.
This is really the case. Even brothers and sisters who encounter interests at the bottom of the line of life and death will die, or even kill each other.
This is something I only realized when I was in high school.
That year, when I just entered high school, my father suffered from a serious illness. I still don’t know what the diagnosis was. I only know that the hospital reported that he was critically ill, that my mother cried to tears, and that my relatives even enlarged the black and white photo of my father.
At that time, my mother had just undergone uterine fibroids surgery. She was weak and fainted at every turn. My father's treatment was astronomical every day.
The family's savings were running low, and my brother and I were about to face tuition for the new semester.
You must know that high school is not compulsory education, and the tuition fees of key high schools are particularly expensive. I am a freshman in high school, and my brother is a repeat student in high school. My mother borrowed all the relatives and did not borrow much money. Anemia and turned away.
Dad’s medical expenses were paid in advance by the unit (thanks to the factory manager, his kindness is remembered by the whole family to this day), and my brother and I have been in school for more than half a month, and we have been in arrears with tuition fees.
Fortunately, my father's condition has gradually improved. At this time, there is another good news. The list of the last batch of internal retirees who are allowed to take over their children from the factory has been released. My father is also on the list due to physical reasons. One of my elder brothers can support himself immediately and earn his salary by taking up the public job.
When I heard the news, I burst into tears. I said that I don't want to take over. I'm only 16 years old, not yet the age to take over, and I want to go to university. I don't want to be a worker in a factory all my life.
Mother was silent for a long time, and then said with difficulty: "But, there is no savings at home. Even if you can both go to college, in this situation, you can only afford one."
My brother didn't sleep all night, got up early and said to my mother, "I decided to drop out of school and let my sister continue to study. She is under 18 and can't take the class. I'm old enough, and after all, I took the college entrance examination, and I didn't get it because of my ability. The problem, I can't even give my sister a chance to take the college entrance examination..."
My mother cried again. During that time, she cried too much, and her eyes were always swollen like peaches.
I also cried. I knew that my brother had a high fever when he took the college entrance examination for the first time. Even so, his grades were very good. He decided to repeat his studies for the university he wanted.
I said I don't want to study, let my brother continue to study, his grades are better than me, he will be more promising than me, and he can go to university in just one year, and I need three years, which is not worth it.
My mother choked and said, "This is a big event in life. You two brothers and sisters have discussed it, and you will sign up tomorrow."
We didn't sign up the next day because something big happened in the factory.
A family of three brothers fought each other almost every day in order to win the qualification of this successor. One of them was beaten with a concussion and was admitted to the hospital. !
A life of extreme poverty, it is too easy to expose the evil in human nature. Those who are struggling at the bottom, the primary goal of life is to survive. For petty profits, they can break their blood, and for direct interests, they can ignore human life and cause death. .
This vicious incident made the factory's requirements for the shift event extremely strict. In the end, I was rejected because of my age. My brother packed up his schoolbag with tears in his eyes and entered the factory for induction training.
Not long after, my father completely woke up and was furious when he learned about it. After half a year, he fully recovered and became a truck driver. He went through the admission procedures again for my brother. In the end, both my brother and I were admitted to the university of our dreams.
Why am I fighting so hard?
It is because I have seen the unknown closed, narrow, inferior and ugly society at the bottom.
When a person is so deficient in material that he cannot even solve the problem of food and clothing, self-esteem and face become luxuries, and unscrupulous means become the instinct of animals.
At the bottom, the dark side of society is more real and three-dimensional. All intrigue and intrigue have been magnified countless times. In order to survive, in order to obtain more survival resources, so many people have lost their bottom line and their personalities have been distorted.
People who are extremely poor will also have many psychological problems. Poverty is often associated with low self-esteem, and once low self-esteem ferments to a certain extent, it is crazy and hating the rich, taking revenge on the society, and trying the law for self-interest.
For example, the fish pond that was poisoned by innocent people.
For example, the three brothers who were sentenced for one death, one injury and one sentence.
I remember reading a piece of news on the Internet. An interdisciplinary team at Harvard once conducted a psychological follow-up study: In the case of poverty, how will people's thinking change?
Thousands of reports that have been tracked show that the attention of poor people will be over-occupied by scarce resources, which will lead to a comprehensive decline in cognition and judgment, and will lead to imperfect personality. In the process of competing for resources, various occurrences will occur. Unreasonable violence or other negative behavior.
More than 2,000 years ago, Guan Zhong said: "Know the honor and disgrace when you have enough food and clothing, and know the etiquette when you have enough food and clothing."
I don't think money is the standard for measuring everything, and I don't think poverty itself is shameful, but I firmly believe that oneself is solidified. The idea of the lowest class and dying of poverty in old age is extremely shameful and terrible.
You don't want to stand up and no one can support you.
The reason why the bottom society is not worthy of nostalgia is because the lack of material needs to constantly face the torture of human nature.
Who said, never torture human nature, because human nature cannot stand the test.
http://news.ifeng.com/a/20170704/51366502_0.shtml