Self-control is the instinct of the strongest.
—— 萧伯纳Many friends asked me, Brother Lu, the learning methods and learning routes you shared are very good, but I am lazy, I don’t have the ability to execute, and I just don’t take action. Is there a way to solve this?
In fact, this topic is very difficult to write, why, I am afraid that everyone will think it is chicken soup if I write it. After thinking about it, I decided to try to write something based on my personal experience.
The classmates and friends around me all say that I am an extremely self-disciplined person, who have very high demands on myself and are extremely harsh. To be honest, I used to be a very lazy person. How comfortable I am, I can drag a little bit, I can play games, never study, I can sleep for a while, and I never get up early.
Later, due to self-discipline, my life changed drastically. Because of self-discipline, many people think that finding a job against the front-end in four months is incredible. I want to say there is nothing incredible, but I am more self-disciplined than others.
Because of self-discipline, I started my writing career in my sophomore year, both technically and as a hobby, which enabled me to achieve financial independence at university and at the same time reduced the financial burden on my family.
Because of self-discipline, after graduation, I faced various fierce competitions, which made me stand out smoothly and brought me the first pot of gold in my life.
Until now, this kind of self-discipline has penetrated deep into the bones, and it is playing its benefits all the time.
The purpose of writing this article is to help some people who want to be self-disciplined to become self-disciplined and experience a different life through my own experience from laziness to self-discipline, and through some methods I share.
1. Change yourself, start with the small things first
In the beginning, because we were accustomed to laziness and the comfort that staying in our psychological comfort zone brought us. It's like an addiction to cigarettes. You can't quit at once. Self-discipline requires a long-term process, starting with every little thing.
Before, I was a bedridden and a serious procrastinator. Every time I changed my current state, it was only three minutes of heat. As such a "critically ill patient", to be honest, wanting to make me self-discipline all of a sudden is actually a torture to me, it is better to kill me.
Later, I tried to start with every little thing, getting up at 10 o'clock, and I would wake myself up at 9:30 the next day. If I feel uncomfortable at a certain time point in advance, I will keep it at the current time point. A buffer time period for yourself. When I get used to the current time, I will decide to advance the time slowly. This sounds like a good starting point for the bedridden.
In addition, I was often late for what I did before, not because I was not punctual, but because I liked procrastination. In order to be able to change this situation, I set the time of my phone and watch half an hour faster than normal.
Because of this incident, something particularly interesting happened at the university. At noon that day, I returned to my dormitory to rest normally. I set the alarm for class to wake up in the afternoon. I slept and the alarm rang. I saw that the class time was almost late, and then I frantically called my roommate to get up. I have forgotten that my time is half an hour faster than others. When the roommate woke up in a daze, looked at the time and said, isn’t this half an hour left?
I was stunned at the time, but I reacted instantly. Now that I think about it, I am really worried about being afraid, and thank my roommates for not killing me. I just thought that this little trick, I would be there in advance for everything, and then I don’t need to set up time in advance after I develop a habit.
2. Stay away from short-term temptations and prolong satisfaction
This Internet age is an age of entertainment to death. (Here I recommend a book I have read "Entertainment to Death", this book was republished after 20 years). Many people spend most of their time on recreational and entertainment content. The number of users of various APP software such as Nan Douyin, Beikuaishou, entertainment news, and entertainment gossip has increased.
Personally, I am not against certain entertainment software, but because these entertainment content, pastime content, keep you in the "mental comfort zone" for a long time, this state makes your current state particularly comfortable, relaxed and comfortable.
Coupled with some recommendation algorithms on these platforms, the stickiness and retention rate of users are greatly increased, and you will gradually become dependent on the platform.
What Douyin, Kuaishou, I have also downloaded it, this thing is really magical, so you can get satisfaction and pleasure in a short time. If the addictive things used to be smoke and opium, then the current "mental opium" is none other than these entertainment software.
Some people say, in the face of these alluring things, if you learn to refuse? I admit that I have strong self-control, but my willpower is so vulnerable to these "mental opiums" with "hooks". So I don't even touch it, let alone let it appear on the phone.
However, I prefer to look at it from a different perspective. When more and more people pursue short-term pleasure and satisfaction, I think it is more of an advantage for individuals, and it improves silently. "Personal core competitiveness."
For this kind of "recreational" content, it is recommended that everyone watch it less or even not, because sometimes it can really make a person "addictive."
3. Feel your emotions and state
The third point, I think it is a bit difficult to do compared to the first or two points, because some professional psychology books are needed.
Why do you experience your own emotions and state, because humans are originally emotionally driven animals. Any decision or action they make is more or less related to their own emotions and current psychological state. So, if you want to change some of your mental state, such as realizing what your current state is like.
If you pay attention to your current state, I recommend a few good books that I have read before, "Meeting the Unknown Self" and "We Will Meet Love and Solitude". These two books are easy to understand. It was written by the writer Zhang Defang. After reading it, it helped me a lot and gained a lot. After the last reading, I gave these two books to friends around me.
Ninety percent of people's emotions are caused by constant criticism and self-blame on that 10% of emotions. If we take the 10% of our emotions squarely at the beginning together, ask ourselves whether our current state is happy, angry, desperate, or nervous, let us first accept these emotions and allow them to exist. When such long-term attention to your emotions and state, some of your negative emotions and states will be adjusted.
4. Learn to embrace boredom and loneliness
"Why does one person laugh, because the other person is laughing".
This sentence illustrates a problem, that is, people affect people. Sociologically speaking, people are social animals, and people have different influences. Whether it is sociology or psychology, many social experiments that have been done have proved this, such as blindly following the crowd.
To illustrate this point more, let's give a practical example. For example, an old lady fell down on the street, and there is no one around at this time. What do you think at this time? Most people will subconsciously help. But in another scene, there is a group of people around an old lady who fell to the ground at this time, no one to support, and the people around are talking about something, as another person, support The probability is greatly reduced.
Psychologists in this scene have also done a lot of experiments, and they have also been able to prove people's blind conformity. In addition, every aspect of our lives will be influenced by others, such as choosing a programming language, choosing to buy a breakfast, a piece of clothing, a decision, and so on.
But in order to cater to the group, many people try their best to let themselves follow the crowd and prove their existence, such as smoking, drinking, luxury goods, and so on. Formally because of this, it is difficult for us to learn to embrace boredom and loneliness.
We can choose a few time periods every day to be alone with ourselves, read books, watch lectures, listen to songs, etc.
Why worry, only self-discipline. Because behind every outstanding one is the premise of extremely lonely diligence, either blood, sweat, or a lot of graceful youthful good times.
summary
I have seen many online posts on how to self-discipline is something on the surface. For example, don’t play with your mobile phone in class, don’t put your mobile phone beside you when you sleep, don’t play games, don’t use Weibo, and go to bed and get up early.
We all know these truths, but we didn't propose how to overcome some psychological states and emotions if we do it specifically, so today this article combines some of our own personal experiences to share the topic of how to self-discipline.