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I still remember that the People’s Daily posted an article on WeChat two years ago-"To the Sleeping College Student: If you are not unemployed, the laws of nature cannot be tolerated! "Criticize those college students who sit comfortably in the ivory tower and waste their time to ruin their future.
At that time, many netizens commented that these college students who had been in a waste of time had already lost before leaving school.
But just a few days ago, a statement from Tsinghua University shocked many netizens.
Tsinghua University issued an announcement to dissuade two doctoral students from the School of Marxism.
There is no other reason, that is, I don't concentrate on my studies.
During their studies, the two doctoral students were obsessed with non-academic activities for a long time. They did not participate in the teaching and research activities stipulated by the school for two consecutive weeks without asking for leave. They were cancelled in accordance with the Regulations on the Management of Graduate Student Status of Tsinghua University.
In recent years, it is not uncommon for college students to be dismissed or expelled.
Some students relax themselves completely after they arrive at university, mixing credits and diplomas, and have no basic sense of awe in learning.
After all, the most stupid thing in the world is "choosing to enjoy at the age when I should work hardest."
There is a problem on the Internet. Do you know how to easily destroy a child?
The answer is to be obedient to him and not let him/her suffer a little bit.
Doting is not love. On the way of growing up, children must bear some of the storms, and children must experience some of the difficulties.
Tong Hua said that a person's life is a process of continuous giving and gain.
In this process, two kinds of people will gradually form, one succeeds because of hard work, and the other fails because of laziness.
Foresighted parents will surely let their children suffer from these three kinds of suffering.
The suffering of life
Remember the news that the 23-year-old man Yang Suo starved to death at home?
This incident happened in 2010. This young man named Yang Suo has sound limbs, normal mind, and free movement, but he is extremely lazy.
"He never washes clothes, throws them away when they are dirty, and replaces them with another. The meat and vegetables given to him by the villagers are hung on the eaves, and they keep smelling and do not cook them."
"After eating a full meal, he stays asleep, sometimes for a day or two. When he is too hungry, he goes out to beg for food."
It is not so much that he starved to death, it is better to say that he was lazy to death, more so that he was spoiled to death by his parents.
People in the village said that Yang Suo's parents loved him very much. In order to keep his son forever, they named the child Yang Suo.
"When Yang Suo was 8 years old, when his parents went out, they carried him with a load and prevented him from walking." Yang Suo's cousin Yang Deyu said.
"Yang Suo is actually quite smart, but he doesn't study or do homework at all. As long as we be strict, Yang Suo will tell his parents that his parents will find school the next day." Yang Suo was in elementary school. The teacher said.
"Yang Suo sometimes tried to work. When his parents saw it, they said, "Go and play, don't get tired." The villager said.
When Yang Suo was 13 years old, his father died of liver disease. Yang Suo's mother still spoiled Yang Suo and would not let him do any farm work. Later, when Yang Suo's mother's health was getting worse and worse, when Yang Suo had to ask Yang Suo to go to work, Yang Suo didn't do it at all and beat her mother when she was upset.
Yang Suo has nothing to do every day, and his mother takes care of all the farming and housework, but she becomes sick from overwork. When Yang Suo was 18 years old, his mother died of illness.
Yang Suo, who has lost his support, has long been addicted to a comfortable and easy life. He just wants to be lazy at home and eventually starves to death at home.
Yang Suo may have been happy, but his happiness was limited to his childhood, and then he was killed alive by his parents.
His tragedy is thought-provoking. For children, we always hold them in our mouths for fear of melting, holding them in our hands for fear of falling, but this is not love, but harm.
Children who are accustomed to being cared for, don’t know that this world is more of wind and rain.
Children who are accustomed to ease have become useless in their comfort zone, without any ability.
However, for parents, it is a gradual journey for their children. One day they will say goodbye. Then how can they face the ups and downs of life?
Dilemma
I have seen a movie called "The King of Soul Singer".
This is a biographical film about the legendary life of American jazz and rock character Ray Charles.
When Charles was 7 years old, he lost his eyesight due to glaucoma, and has since been languishing.
The movie truly restored a scene at that time:
Charles tripped to the ground by a chair. Little Charles, who couldn't see his surroundings, was very scared. He subconsciously called to his mother:
"Mom! I need you! Come and save me! Please! I'm scared!"
Stills from the film "The King of Soul Singer"
When my mother heard Charles's call, she ran over to help Charles, but stopped in place.
She watched Charles lying on the ground crying helplessly, watching him calm down from panic, watching him wipe away tears and begin to perceive the world with his ears.
Recognizing the direction of each item, even when Charles stretched her hand to the charcoal and was burned by the flames, she did not say a word and cried silently...
Stills from the film "The King of Soul Singer"
When Charles gradually got acquainted with the darkness and felt the presence of her mother, she couldn't help it anymore and held Charles tightly in her arms...
Stills from the film "The King of Soul Singer"
General Patton said: "The measure of a person's success is not by how high he climbed to the top, but by his rebounding power when he fell to the bottom."
Far-sighted parents will not cultivate their children as flowers in a greenhouse, but know how to let them go and let them feel the hardships.
Human hearts are grown in flesh, and no mother can remain indifferent after witnessing her children being injured continuously.
But only if the child is willing to step out of his protection circle, let him feel the pain and realize the hardship of life, can he grow up and stand alone in the future.
Because they know that hardship is the normal state of life, and they can only taste the sweetness of life if they can bear the hardship.
The famous psychologist Maslow said: "Frustration is not necessarily a bad thing for children. The key lies in his attitude towards setbacks."
Therefore, when a child is faced with setbacks, what parents need to do is not to help him solve the problem, but to cultivate his problem-solving ability.
Let go and let the children do difficult things, because difficulties also mean opportunities and change.
Learning pain
I once saw a question on Zhihu: Why do most people prefer to suffer from life rather than study?
The respondent who liked the most replied like this:
Probably because of laziness. The suffering of learning needs to be actively eaten, the suffering of life... it comes when you lie still...
The hardship of learning can be avoided, as long as you don't learn to escape.
But the hardships of life are inevitable and inevitable.
Please tell your children that if you do not suffer from studying now, life will be very hard for you in the future.
In 2006, Henan examinee Jiang Duoduo took the initiative to hand in a blank paper for the college entrance examination. After the college entrance examination, she tried to go out to work, but her education was not high, and she had no professional skills. The job search was extremely difficult . I have even thought of death several times."
After many setbacks, Jiang Duoduo entered a technical school. Recalling the college entrance examination, she said frankly "Now I find it a bit ridiculous."
Chen Shengzhang, the candidate who handed in a blank paper in 2007, had a more tortuous experience. After the college entrance examination, he worked as a drug salesman, insurance company salesperson, charity event planning, and nightclub salesperson. He did not do everything for long and frequently changed jobs.
In 2008, Ji Jian, who had a blank paper, was a very talented child in mathematics. After the college entrance examination, he has been working everywhere.
He has worked as a restaurant handyman, a small construction worker, posted postgraduate entrance examination posters, and wrote soft articles for a cultural communication company; in life, he slept on a bench by the park and picked up rubbish to exchange money for meals.
Recalling the first few years of working life, Ji Jian couldn't cry, thinking that he had no dignity and "lived like a dog."
After ten years of hard study, life at two o'clock in the line every day is indeed boring, but compared with the hardships of life, studying is much easier.
I don't know when the theory that "reading is useless" began to prevail in society.
Someone said: "What's the use of graduating from Peking University? Isn't it going to sell pork?"
But they only told part of the facts, and the other part of the truth is that Chen Sheng, a college graduate who sells pork, has now opened hundreds of chain stores, worth over 100 million yuan.
Knowledge does not necessarily change fate, but without knowledge, fate cannot be changed.
The longer I work, the more important it is to study and the more important my academic qualifications.
Many people don’t know that there is a "hidden rule" in the recruitment industry:
Some well-known companies put the resumes of 985 college students on one side when screening resumes, and put the resumes of non-985 college students on the other side.
At the end of the job fair, they will only take away the resumes of 985 students, and the fate of the remaining resumes is to be swept into the trash can by the cleaners.
A survey of the education level of 500 executives of listed companies shows that 84% of the executives have a high degree of education and 48% are from 985 schools.
Afraid of suffering and suffering for a lifetime, not afraid of suffering for a while.
In July last year, the Chief Justice of the United States, John Roberts, made a "cruel word" at his son's graduation ceremony. While the social media screen was swiped, it also triggered deep thought in society.
"Usually, the speakers at the graduation ceremony will wish you good luck and send blessings, but I will not do that.
I hope you will encounter unfair treatment from time to time in the years to come, so that you can understand the value of justice.
May you taste betrayal, which will teach you the importance of loyalty.
May you occasionally have bad luck, so that you will realize the place of opportunity in life, and then understand that your success is not destined, and the failure of others is not justified.
When you encounter failure, I hope you will be mocked by your opponents for gloating. This will make you understand the importance of competitive spirit.
May you be ignored occasionally so that you can learn to listen; suffer the right amount of pain so that you can have compassion.
Whether you want it or not, these will come sooner or later. Whether you can benefit from it depends on whether you can penetrate the message of life's suffering. "
If you eat too much sugar, children will not feel sweet, they will only feel greasy, and naturally they will not cherish it. Only children who have suffered bitterness will understand how precious the sweetness is.
So, stop spoiling your child anymore. Your selfless dedication only touched yourself, but it hurt your child's life.
You will always get old, and your child will one day face the ups and downs in this world. Without your protection and his own independent ability, his life will definitely be difficult.
Visionary parents know how to force their children, because they know that the sun is always after the wind and rain, and there is no waste in life, and there is no way to go in vain.
The suffering you suffer now and the injuries you suffer now will become badges in the future.
Therefore, don't choose ease at the age when you should endure hardship.