Digression:
After coming home from get off work, I played hide-and-seek games with the children. This time the children had a good time, and they knew that they were silent when they hid.
Today, let’s talk about cognitive behavior. When I just graduated, I was very confused. I was confused because I didn’t know what I could do. Then I applied for a software development position and finally applied for it. After several years of software development , Confused again. This time I am confused because I don't know how to go next.
I often wonder what is the cause of stage confusion and anxiety.
It can be roughly divided into three points:
Confusion period: no goals, low enthusiasm for work, lack of enthusiasm.
Self-doubt period: I feel that I have average abilities and that others are better than myself.
Lack of plan: have clear goals, but don't know how to do it.
For example, I thought I had good grades, but suddenly learned that XX is better than you. This is not generally good, but much better. So I doubted my ability, confused the rhythm, and then lost my mind. , Into the self-doubt period.
Studies have shown that in their careers, 40% of people are in a period of confusion, 50% of people are in a period of self-doubt, and 10% of people have unclear goals and lack of plans.
Just imagine where you are currently?
The reason for the confusion period is that I don’t know enough about myself. What I like and what I can do is just a vague understanding.
The self-doubt period is when you are not confident enough in yourself and not clear about your own advantages.
The root cause of the lack of planning: there is no plan to do things, one step is one step. There is a saying that it is well to say that everything is pre-established, if not pre-established, it is abolished.
How can we get out of self-doubt?
In psychological "cognitive behavior" therapy, we can influence our feelings and form a virtuous circle by changing our behavior.
We must first distinguish between facts and feelings.
Many people feel that they can still distinguish the relationship between the two when they hear the facts and feelings. In fact, it is not. In many cases, it is still difficult for us to distinguish, because we are still on the way of growth.
Facts refer to the facts themselves, and feelings refer to the facts processed by our brain. In many cases, it is magnified and distorted by the "magnifying glass" of feelings, so that it can no longer be called facts. .
For example, when a man and a woman are in love, they often feel that if they have each other, they will have the whole world and that they can’t live without each other. However, this is not the case. Later, for various reasons, the two separated. When I collapsed, I felt that my life seemed to have lost its meaning, and even doubted myself because of it, and was totally devastated.
Seeing men and women in love on the street, Qingqing, mine, and mine, I will feel that this kind of original love is so sweet, if I accidentally fall out of love, I will be miserable, and I don't know where to go next.
But if we are just a bystander, we can clearly know that this situation is not as good or bad as the person feels. The person will temporarily forget some truth due to emotional influence.
I understand the truth, but I can't do it.
Feelings do not change the facts, but facts can change the feelings. Don't think that those who are very good will not doubt themselves and have no negative emotions. It's just that they have enough facts to allow them to have enough courage and confidence to support them when they are afraid of anxiety, and the result of the action becomes a new fact and supports them to move forward.
I wonder if you have ever been lost, how did you come out later?
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